Vedic Marriage Compatibility

'Micro-ethnography' on introducing the Social Anthropological 'macro-ethnography' in retrospect, on the facets of marriage compatibility, and associated subject matter.

My Academic Pledge.

This work presented in this essay is substantially my own in that I did the required reading, research and planning. And I wrote the whole essay. I have not used other peoples work except where acknowledged, and humbly I am grateful for their research, theories, and publications.

This essay was originally written as part of a social anthropological assignment when studying at Massey University, New Zealand. No part or the whole may be published without due consent of the Author - Jaya Tirtha Charan dasan (c) 1995-2001 All Rights Reserved.


'Micro Ethnography'.
I have entitled this 'micro-ethnography' the lengthy title of "An Ethnography Involving Insights And Details For Compatibility Or Incompatibility Of Marriage According To Muhurta Shastra, Relative Corresponding Works, Involving Scientific Research And Observer Participation."
 The reason for my choice of this particular, and rather unique subject is my affiliation towards it. I have been a priest for the past 18 years with the International Society for Krishna Consciousness (ISKCON), more commonly known as the Hare Krishnas'. It has been an interesting period of my life, and like many full of varieties of high and low points. During this period possibly due to my own natural aptitude, as well as encouragement by superiors (local Temple presidents; sannyasi, monks; and Gurus, spiritual masters.) But more than this I really felt a need for many years to try to resolve some fundamental problems that seemed to keep recurring in society. That being the challenge of finding a mate that one could spend one's life with securely.
 As I thought about this subject over the years many things began to come to mind. Mostly my own inadequacies to contribute to resolving this situation. I was fortunate in one sense that my own parents stayed together for the forty years of their marriage before my father's passing away in 1987. But I was taken aback by may mothers revelation that, "He didn't want me at first, he wanted my friend Rachel. But he couldn't have her so he went after me." I felt deeply her feelings of remorse, .....yet on the other hand victory that she got her man. Their courting took place in the midst of war torn London, my father travelling when on leave from the armed forces across London from his home in Bermondsey, by the side of Surrey Docks, South East London, on the underground to see my mother who lived near Shepherds Bush West London. It must have been a very hard time for them both, in fact for everyone of the era.
 They were eventually married in 1947, a white wedding. My mother moving to the East End, my father's home. They wanted to have children after a couple of years but nothing of the like was to happen. "We tried really hard to have you, you know. We really wanted a child," said my mother. They were not particularly religious people, although they both had some conception of there being a God. They both underwent medical examinations to see if there was something physically wrong with either of them that was stopping any issue from coming forth. Being really desperate, and "jubilant" after the Christmas festive season they prayed to God for a child. The next time they tried my mother fell pregnant much to both their relief and mutual pleasure. The pregnancy was due on my fathers birthday October the 6th 1954. In September 1954, one week early for both, the 28th, I was born - seemingly at an early age.
 Things were looking up. I was there, the crest jewel of the family, .....or at least that the way I was treated. People were all over me like bees on honey. The only son and heir, their "Little Cockney Sparra'"

We lived at my paternal grandmother and grandfather's house at 147, Southwark Park Road, Bermondsey S.E.16., only one of three houses still remaining in a former bustling street amid London's pre-war East End.
 My grandfather was in India for some fourteen years during the 'British Raj', but passed away about a year after my birth. I still to this day haven't been able to work out if I can remember him, or if I have recollections of him from what my parents had told me, the photo's that I had seen, or how my grandmother had edified him.
 My grandmother was an unusual lady, .....surrounded by the relics of the Raj that her husband, and her brother Alf' had brought back with them from their years in India. There was always a mystical flavour in the family that really seamed to keep everything going. My grandmother having an array of strange friends, very eccentric, ......quite differently dressed than the people one would see out shopping. I distinctly remember that.

Some of my earliest memories are of those days, I must have been three or four, playing underneath heavy and tasselled silk table cloths in her downstairs part of the two story house, with many middle aged and elderly ladies seated around the heavy wooden table with its carved legs. I still remember their thick silk stockinged ankles, and heavy, leather shoes.
 She had a crystal ball in the middle of the table, .....and I can still remember the sound of seeming endless cups of tea being made and consumed, and readings done of the "grouts", tea-leaf residue. They were kindly towards me, and I was tolerated and pampered by them everytime they came. Often I would go out with them to visit another clairvoyant if my mother accompanied my grandmother. It was an interesting way to grow up, I felt very very stable and secure in that environment.
 The home environment was very important in our household, almost as much as was represented to the outside world.

The conditioning that I underwent had an Indo-Aryan-Victorian-'Joint Family' flavour which today seems unique to those of a bygone generation.
 Marriage was sacred, and defacto, separation and or divorce were almost unheard of, and where apparent were looked down upon as, ".....people who had either little control over their genitals, or foresight in their lives"(Aunt Maude's favourite little diddy). Except in rare cases it would appear true, or at least I have to agree.

Keeping to the theme of this assignment without turning this into a family autobiography, .....My mother intimated to me shortly after my fathers passing away, "We grew to love each other deeply, .....and shared many wonderful times together. I know he didn't love me when we were first married, he was on the rebound. He really wanted Rachel, my best friend .....but she married his best mate. My sister Kit (Margaret) wanted him 'though...... but she didn't get him.........!" After a couple of years of sharing each others company their perspectives of each other changed dramatically. Their love developed and even deepened.

Growing up as an only child to this middle class family was a unique experience from my recollection. I was dotted on by various aunts, ...and being taken to the soccer games by uncles and my father. I never lacked anything as I remember. Neither do I have any recollection of any arguments of fights between my mother and father. In fact the family situation was very secure and warm. I do remember that occasionally they would retreat to their room to discuss things. This I presume was when they worked out their rough edges, disagreements or whatever, ........ in the relationship, and in retrospect I really appreciate their concern that I didn't have to experience fighting, or insecurity in my life.
 Each year the family joined another family from Swindon in the West Country of England, Cornwall to stay at Jack and Sally's who had fled London's blitz and bought an old house at 3, Porthia Harbour View, in St Ives Bay, Hayle, Cornwall. It was fabulous, and so were those holidays.
 It was on one of these holidays when I was about 12 or 13 that I lost my virginity to the daughter of the family from Swindon. Her name was Judy Heinz she was 16, ......her father's name was Eric, more than that has been eluded by time. It happened in the sand dunes at the back of Jack and Sally's place. That year when it was time we returned to London and Judy to Swindon I created a big scene as they got off the train at Swindon crying that I didn't want her to go. The knot had been tied in the heart, by our sexual adventure......! None of the parents could understand, but her tearful eyes looking into mine, as she stood there on that platform amid the farewells, and, ".... see you next years" tore my heart apart.
 As it turned out, ......that was the last time they went on holiday to Cornwall, and my romance was terminated.

Normative maturation of adolescence came with the usual pushing of the developing sense organs and discoveries and sexual experimenting adventures of materialistic youth(Brooks-Gunn, 1988; Elkind, 1984). The profiling concern, and preoccupation with mate attracting impulses carried by egocentric self-imaging, and new found testerone levels aided the hunt.
 Looking back it was a little embarrassing how blatantly lusty some of us were at that time. "....in a society in which personality is often judged by appearance"(Dion, Bersceid, & Walster, 1972. Papalia & Olds page 315.), "...self image can have long lasting effects on young people's feelings about themselves. Adults who thought they were attractive during their teenage years have higher self-esteem and are happier than those who did not. Not until the mid forties do the differences in self-esteem and happiness disappear" (Berscheid, Walster, & Bohrnstedt, 1973. Papilia & Olds page 315.).
 I think this is what has brought out more concern in my depicting a method by which all of this external bodily assessment, and egocentric displays of false-ego, are not as important as being sustainably satisfied in any marital relationship.

Everyone wants that special person in their life, someone that you can rely on, trust and know that they care for you, and you them. To achieve this there has to be something more than just a physical or sexual urge. There has to be a certain amount of compatibility. If in those compatibility stakes or scoring board are at least neutral, or at best the odds are in favour of a successful relationship obviously one stands a better chance of success.
 I have found instances the world over, that in the past, as well as at present, that there is a need for finding compatible matches. Symptoms of this today are the numerous computer dating agencies; Relationship Hotlines'; marriage counselling; Relationship Astrological Hotline (TVNZ January 1996); Tarotline; Friends; Matchmakers; (all as seen advertised on N.Z. TV2. 1995-96.), Heart to Heart Dateline, One to One Lovelink, Friends(All three presently featured in magazines and T.V. and Radio stations all over N.Z.);  in fact there are hundreds of them in 'contact' magazines, newspapers, radio and T.V. stations all over the world.

I personally had so many "relationships" in my youth. I'm not saying that's good or to be aspired for, it's just a fact. Some having great expectations and eventual even bigger let downs - and we passed our separate ways. In discussion with friends and associates both male and female alike, many of them had similar fleeting relationships, and carried many scars of broken relationships. We discussed some of the things that we would have like to have been there in, and that we could try to implement in present and future ones.

Over the course of the next few years partially out of my religious convictions, and partially out of feelings of frustration I became a celibate monk and travelled to India. That travel took me further than I thought or expected it to; into deeper and somewhat a different realm.
 I observed the culture of India and their local customs. Many things left lasting impressions on me such as the chastity of the womenfolk; the power of their captivating shyness and purity which kept the check of their men-folk, far more than the brazen topless-bottomless society which I had grown up in.

Although I was a monk (brahmacari), it was not a life long vow of celibacy that I had taken. Plus from my training I understood that as in the Vedic culture that I now observed, by being a spiritually oriented householder, non-exploitive and caring the same vow of celibacy could be maintained by engaging in intimate sexual union with one's spouse for the procreation of good progeny(Srimad Bhagavatam 11:18:43.). Observing pure hearted traditionalists, I became quite inspired by their devotion to both God and their dependants.

I began to ask questions. I wanted to know how it was practically functional, that relationships seemed to last in India, in most cases, and what was the intrinsic reason for that.
 I was aware of many of the arguments regarding Vedic culture and why there was no divorce etc. But these were not the conclusive questions that I needed answering. What I wanted, now needed was something that I could be a part of, something that could be appreciated by practical participation. The ethnological approach, distanced from one's ivory tower obviously was not to bring solace to me. Although having multifaceted branches under the banner of the Holistic approach, the view is that of their 'own' being still ethnological, and ethnographic(Peacock 1986. Method, pg 60.), again useful if you wanted to cash in on another's research. But not in totality what I had to find. My research had to be reflexive, unmotivated, non judgemental and open to what was found (whether I liked, or agreed with it or not). My approach was not entirely scientific because I knew it was going to affect my life, so it couldn't be an entirely passive or impersonal, sterile process - I was in it, living it - in the process of going native.
 I knew too, that by so doing I would have to accept Nomothetic or law-giving principles most of which I had to gather from learned informants. In this way gathering a cross-cultural perspective comparison and analysis of data from larger number of diverse, and multifaceted cultures so that from my perspective I could understand and assimilate what truths I would find, without a hidden agenda. The purpose of which was not entirely academic. For the results were out of definite self interest, to direct me first up, and maybe assist others in the future what to do. Some say that this law giving and defining behavioural patterns like this, is the real mission of anthropology(Manners & Kaplan 1968: 4.).

What I wanted was practical solutions to what I saw as a fundamental problem. One that was causing distress and anxiety to many persons who simply wanted the right person to share their lives with.

For the first time I started hearing strange terms, "...examining the qualifications of the perspective couple",  "selecting an auspicious day for the wedding", etc., etc. The culture of India took my mind, intelligence and emotions by storm.
 I considered the possibility, honestly and objectively, the feasibility of my adapting some if not all of this culture in my own life. "Oh! But you're a monk," I heard cry from deep inside this essay. Was it you this time or memories of the research.
 It's true at that time I was a strict and devout one too! But like I said, I wanted honesty to remain in my life. To me honesty stands for more than just maintaining an external show of doing something, it means living it in entirety. I was honest enough with my self to realise that I was not really at that time material for life long ascetism.

Not wanting to relive my former 'mud-shark' profile I opened my consciousness to the prospect that if such a rare soul who could tolerate me would come along, ..... then so be it. Otherwise if I can just develop good and meaningful relationships of a non-challenging/non-sexual basis with friends and associates, .....then great! There was no sense of desperation, or extreme passion.
 My understanding of Vedic culture would hold me in good stead, and not allow me to settle for some kind of 'hit or miss relationship', that I had seen so many enter into and out of.
 Over the course of the next few months after ardent prayer and consideration, on both our parts, and by force of providence, natural congenial compatibility and no planning on our part, I was brought together with the person who was later to become my wife.

She at that time was travelling around Europe. Two Australian girls looking to see the seat of western imperialistic culture. Working as casual labourers and temps' to get them from one place to another. Their "Big O.E." (Overseas Experience) as it is colloquially referred to throughout Australasia.
 At this time I was also working, packing in a warehouse - 'unsociable hours', long hours - but big money, to get funds together quick to return to India in search of more of myself.

I used to visit 'the Agency' that I worked through on a Friday lunch time, pick up my pay, and then head off to my work of packing. On this particular Friday two girls turned up at the agency about an hour before I did. Obviously the girls who worked there did a good job in edifying me before saying that I would be able to take the 'Aussie girls' to the warehouse.
 My wife recalls, "....the girls at the agency told me that there was this big guy, he's a real character, .....one of those Hare Krishna's too .......and immediately I was attracted. From that moment on even though I'd never seen you I knew we would spend the rest of our lives together."

Now, this by anyone's expectation was a rare situation, you can imagine. One which I will be honest, didn't at first appeal to me. And I tried like any thing to change the course of the future, but to no avail. She had me, and obviously it was meant to be. Later we had our marriage compatibility checked to find that we are bordering on 80% positively compatible - which means we still have a bit to work on - but it's pretty good.

But, rather than trying to do things the way we did it, best is to check first. By the grace of the Lord ours was a good match, but things could have been more than difficult or challenging if things had of been otherwise - and who knows without checking?

In the next part of this essay I will be endeavouring to make as clear as possible the whys and wherefore's of a Vedic cultural perspective of marriage and possible/probable reasons for either compatibility or incompatibility according to rhyme, reason and higher subtle bodies that determine our lot.

As ethnography is both scientific and literary, I have tried to take the approach by presenting a method for resolve that maybe others can read, making use of the researched information. By so doing save themselves a lot of unnecessary suffering, .......and at the same time, learn some in depth intimacies of the topical matrimonial subject matter.
 

* * *
 

Living in a rural situation, and presently without a vehicle for transportation, due to minimal student support, and funding, I have been forced by circumstances beyond my control to cover and research by means of those in my DYAD; micro, in my everyday environment; meso, those interlocking with my functionary service to community etc.; exo, the greater community, various books in my rather extensive library; and macrosystem, various world views, educational values, etc. (Urie Bronfenbrenner, 1979. Papilia & Olds, 1992. page 9.), to compile information, and complete this assignment (Oct 1995.).

 AN
ETHNOGRAPHY INVOLVING
INSIGHTS AND DETAILS
FOR
COMPATIBILITY OR INCOMPATIBILITY OF MARRIAGE
ACCORDING TO MUHURTA SHASTRA,
AND
RELATIVE CORRESPONDING WORKS,
INVOLVING
SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH AND OBSERVER PARTICIPATION.
 Table Of Contents:

 Preface:

1/.  Introduction: To Synastry:

2/. Definition of Marriage:

3/. The Mysterious Force:
 Astrology - Advance Information on Relationship Dynamics.
 Naming the Day - Moving from Profane to Sacred Time.

4/. The Malady Without Sacred Marriage:
 Bhuta Graha (Repression of the impulses results in............):
 Safe Sex.

5/. Sex as worshipful 'God' !:
 Abuse

6/. Different Kinds of Marriage:

7/. Asaucam (impurity):

8/. Consummation:

9/. Vulnerability Of The People During Another Time Of Flux:

10/. Trust and Faith In Bona Fide Authorities - The Means To Bridge Vulnerability:

11/. Putra;  (Putra, Pum, Put.):

12/. Real Genetic Engineering:

13/. Women and Property:

14/. The Time for Sex:
 For your guidance.

15/. Strength And The Family:

16/. Sacred Marriage And The Meaning Of Compatibility:

17/. Having The Bond:

18/. Defining Compatibility:
 Dhinam (Dinam) Kuta.
 Gana Kuta (Deva, Manusha, Rakshasa Ganam).
 Mahendra.
 Stree Deergha (Dirgha).
 Yoni Kuta.
 Sex Agreement.
 Effects of Sex.
 Rasi Kuta.
 Rasyadhipathi or Graha Maitram.
 Vasya Kuta.
 Rajju.
 Vedha or Dosha.
 Varna.
 Nadi Kuta.
 Special Considerations.
 Common Janma Rasi.
 Common Janma Nakshatra.
 Destructive Constellations.
 Agreement In Respect Of Dhinam, Ganam, Etc.
 Gotra Agreement.
 Paksha Agreement.
 Bhuta (Element) Agreement.
 Age Agreement.
 Mental Agreement.

19/. Astrological Indications; For Potential Success Or Possible Failure, Of Marriage:
 Impediments.
 Success Of The Alliance.
 Stoppage Of The Marriage.
 Early Death Of Couple.
 Omens Regarding Marriage (Vivaha Sakuna).
 Prospects Of Married Life.
 Quick Marriage.
 A Beautiful Bride.
 The Couple's Prosperity.

20/. Time Of Marriage:

21/. Lunar Mansions Prescribed For Marriage:
 Star Election For Marriage.
 Planetary Transits.
 Triple Strength.
 Auspicious Ascendants.
 Godhuli Lagna.
 Abhijit Muhurtha.
 Lunar Days.
 Lunar Months.
 Solar Months.
 Longitude Of Chandra-Velaa.

22/. Indications Of Characteristics Of Candidates:
 Type Of Girl.
 The Bride's Character.
 Wife's Death.
 Deformity Of Wife.
 Wife's Death Through Fire & Snake Bite.
 Her Disastrous Death.
 Wife's Caste / Community / Social Status And Physical Features.
 The Bride's Family.
 Effects Of Planets In The Seventh House On Him.

23/. Indications Of Possible Remarriage (Two Marriages) & Three Marriages:

24/. Rnnubandha - Previous Relationships In Former Lives:

25/. Conclusion:

26/. Prayer Of Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura 1896:


References.

Acknowledgements:

 1/.  Introduction: To Synastry:
Ethnography, is according to definitive terms, "The branch of anthropology that considers man geographically and descriptively, treating of the subdivision of races and peoples, the causes of migration, etc."(Funk and Wagnalls Dictionary, 1946. page 455.)

I would have to admit that this 'macro ethnography' as I have called it is a combination of research, reading and observer participation covering the greater, macro of the subject of my choice. Which from the perspective of Hindu, Vedic or Krishna Consciousness needs addressing, as well as that of those involved in an ordinary relationship.

Primarily the perspective is that of my preference, training and inclination. Nether the less this has not excluded referencing and research over the general subject, using whatever found to support a point that I have felt necessary to make.

The overall purpose of this assignment is to give a hope (even when it may seem, hope against hope), honest attempt to shed some light into a very dark, confining "well like" subject - due to its lack of depiction by householders.
 Synastry literally means, 'a bringing together of' (syn) and 'the stars' (aster), it is a little complex process, but for the minute piece of information taken reveals the resultant process to be enlightening, and revealing. Astrological sysnastry for marriage is truly a great material science, which through 'shastric' reference proves itself unarguably informative towards the analysis of a couples possible future together. Like the Sun and Moon, and other luminaries which are involved the process can be deeply illuminating, and enlightening. Where there is Sun-like illumination on any subject, the shadow of ignor-ance cannot be. I have spelt ignor-ance in this way for in itself it is illuminating. Ignoro is the Latin for to ignor, or to be ignorant of certain facts, as in an ignoramus. The prefix 'In', means not, and 'gnarus' means knowing. (originating in the sanskrit word jna / gna meaning knowledge, to know) In this world today of many great discoveries still there is a whole spectrum that people do not know. Although I would like to add, it is there if one takes the time and care to research.

What I have seen happening in my years as a priest is a swaying in the rise and decline in people accepting the marriage rites. The number of marriages registered in New Zealand reached a 30 year low last year, statistics N.Z., said falling from 22,056 in 1993 to 21,858 in 1994. However, remarriage more than doubled in the last 25 years (Rural News, May 22nd 1995). For various reasons this has come about, some of which we will discuss here. Much of which I think most of us would to some degree or another, would agree with, when we present possibilities and probabilities with reason, research and logic.
 However, there are always different views, as well as reasons for doing anything. Our own we have to analyse ourselves. Being judgemental of others does not solve problems, but often creates further ones - ignorance and arrogance the two infamous outlaws who have continued to rob and plunder communities world wide, tend to create their own confines on individuals and societies who take shelter either consciously or unconsciously of them. Of individuals there is a tendency at the same time do not project the blame for your decision on another, usually the society. Our aim here is to give enough researched information that one can take responsibility for one's own life. For better is to be armed with knowledge. Without overstepping the mark, we can advise; make informed decisions for the betterment of not only your life, but assist in helping, and not ruining others. Marriage contrary to some's thinking, is not a one way street.

2/. Definition of Marriage:
Rather marriage is referred to as a specific 'samskara', a purificatory rite marking the coming together of two persons with a view to householder life; but the question arises then whether it is of the nature of that knowledge, or of an unseen merit of the ritual - being like a secondary knowledge arising out of that knowledge that at least it should be done, or of the nature of specific 'mimamsa samskara' called Bhavana "which brings happiness in this world" (Bhavanaa naama bhavitur bhavaanukulah bhavakavyaapaarvisheshah - vide Nyayaprakasha of Apadeva, Cal, ed., page 2.). After a thorough discussion on the point it has been concluded that marriage partaking of the form of specific knowledge is a samskara (Atra vadanti jnanavishessarupo vivaha eva samskarah - Vivahavicar.), and not other wise.
 Vivaha, is the general word used for the marriage rite, and is also broken down to the roots of its meaning, Bishesh Vhabe Vahahan Karan, or '...to carry something carefully', or '...that weight which one takes great care in carrying', Vaha meaning to carry.

There are generally ten samskaras (Dasa viddhi samskaras) that persons undergo during the course of life. However even if one comes from a section of society (eg. shudra, or labourer class) that only has the tradition and intent on following one then this one is that of vivaha samskara. The natural intellectual sections of any society have their codes of ethics and guidelines for elevation to higher stations in life. Only among the uncultured is the tall poppy syndrome, not allowing those with suitable potential to stand tall without fear of being cut down, is enforced.
 Formerly in India before the corruption of the intellectual and priestly higher classes, there was such equal opportunity. A person being recognised by their activities and not by birthright(SrimadBhagavatam 7:11:35., yasya yal lakshanam proktam pumso varnabhivyanjakam yad anyatrapi drsyeta at tenaiva vinirdishet., Bhagavad Gita 18:40-44.  .........karma bhava svabhavajam.)

The learned acarya (teacher) of 'vivaha shastra', Gadadhara makes the point that by undergoing the sacrament of sacred 'vivaha' it transforms a women into a wife, in the same way as an ordinary cow becomes a milch cow after suckling and nurturing her family, and so according to him a woman becomes fulfilled in love by acceptance of her husband after being knowingly entrusted to him by her caring father. Mitramishra in his Samskaraprakasha (part of Viramitrodaya) while discussing marriage, has explained Vivaha in its etymological sense as a "a particular type of procurement". This he also defines as to be two fold, acquiring of right and conferring of samskara"(tatha ca vivahapadaartho dvidalah sidhyati, satvotpaadanam samskaradhanam ceti - ibid). Which I have seen modern day sociologists, and some anthropologists thrown into a spin with. The understanding of the culture, the knowledge factor that we are dealing with in samskara has to be understood implicitly. Practically speaking one has to be a native or at least open to kicking out ethnocentrism on one's own part in order to appreciate samskara, not only in relation to Vedic culture, but also how it functions in other societies around the world today.

Marriage is viewed by sociologists as a social institution. "Thus according to Dr. Friedrichs marriage is a 'union of persons of different sex acknowledged and privilege by the order of law, either towards sex-intercourse and with a view to leading a joint household or towards exclusive sex-intercourse'."(Dr. Chanchala Kumar Chatterjee, Definition of Marriage, page 21.). "Matrimony or marriage of two souls, one in female form and the other in male form, is established mainly according to Vedic injunction, for the purpose of 'dharma prajasampatya rtham' for the realisation of dharma, progeny and prosperity, (or prosperity or plentitude of these two) i.e. for the progress and happiness of dharma and progeny."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 117.)
 According to Dr. Edward Westermarck, "It is an instinct distinct in that it induces the male to remain with the female and to take care of her after sexual relations have ceased. we may assume that the tendency to feel some attachment to a being which has been the cause of pleasure, in the present case sexual pleasure, is at the bottom of the instinct. Such a feeling may originally have caused the sexes to remain united and the male to protect the female though the sexual desire was gratified; and in procuring advantage to the species in the struggle for existence, conjugal attachment would naturally develop into a specific characteristic. In mankind these instincts give rise not only to habits but to rules of customs or intuition. Social beings endowed with such instincts, as also with a sufficiently developed intellect would feel moral resentment against a man who forsakes the woman with whom he has conjugal intercourse and offspring resulting from it.......  Thus the institution of marriage and the family have the same root as the habits with which I have been dealing in this chapter; indeed these institutions and habits are practically identical, except that in the one case there is social sanction or regulation and in the other not"(Dr. E. Westermarck, The History of Human Marriage, II, page 364, f.n. 2.).
 "Now as the word family isn't merely used to denote a certain institution, I think we may be allowed to apply the term 'marriage' also in a broader sense....... Thus probing deep into the root of the institution of marriage, the learned author proceeds on to define marriage as 'a more or less durable connection between male and female lasting beyond the mere act of propagation till after the birth of offspring(Dr. E Westermarck, History of Human Marriage.,  I. page 71.) Accordingly to him even in its biological aspect, "Marriage is rooted in the family rather than the family in marriage"(Dr. E Westermarck, History of Human Marriage.,  I. page 72.). On the same theme he observes that, "Indeed among many peoples true married life does not begin for persons who are formally married or betrothed, or a marriage does not become definite, until a child is born or their are signs of pregnancy"(Dr. E Westermarck, History of Human Marriage.,  I. page 74.) This example can be seen in the case of the Badagas of the Nilgiris tribes of India who perform the tying of the Mangal sutra or Tali, thus binding the 'vivaha samskara' in the fifth month of the first pregnancy. We have experienced similar in many cases in the courts today where due to some dissatisfaction or another a couple have their 'marriage' annulled if there was no solemnisation of the marriage by sex, consummation. Literally meaning, "....of a serious nature; requisite to the validity or legality of an act; gravity"(Funk & Wagnalls, 1946. page 1242.).

"In dynamic terms, it is marriage which generates affinal relationship and not visa versa. In formal terms, marriage is the bridge between the kinship side and the affinal side of the dichotomy that is of necessity built into the total genealogically defined domain of social relations which we find in every social system. In other words, there would be no point to marriage ceremonies and legal instruments if the pre-marital status of the spouse in relation to each other and their relevant kin were already affinal in character"(Dr. Chanchala Kumar Chatterjee, Definition of Marriage, Cambridge University paper in Social Anthropology, page 2.)
 According to the Encyclopaedia Britannica, ".......marriage may be defined either as the act, ceremony or process by which the legal relationship of husband and wife is constituted; or as a physical, legal and moral union between men and women in complete community of life for the establishment of family"(B. Malinowski, Vol XIV. page 950). "The first task of those customs that constitute the moral codes of a group is to regulate the relations of the sexes, for these are a perennial source of discord, violence and possible degeneration. The basic form of this sexual regulation is marriage which may be defined as, '.....the association of mates for the care of offspring'."(Will Durant, The Story of Civilisation, page 36-37.).
 "Marriage sometimes signifies the ceremony or event by means of which the common intention of a man and a woman to marry is publicly 'contracted', that is to say 'acknowledged and announced' and sometimes the status or 'estate' or state of affairs which prevails when, after undergoing or partaking in the public acknowledgment, or an announcement, the parties acquire and continue in the condition of having married each other."(Dr. J. D. M. Derrett, Introduction to Modern Hindu Law., page 136.) Thus it can be defined as a status fulfilling contract(Dr. J. D. M. Derrett, Introduction to Modern Hindu Law. page 136.) He continues, ".....a man and a woman marry each other when both, having formed the irrevocable intention of living together and sharing all the experiences of daily life, signify the solemn determination in a public acknowledgment and announcement in conformity with law. The married state is a legal condition or status, the rights of the married persons are determined by law and the termination of marriage is possible only in accordance with law"(Dr. J. D. M. Derrett, Introduction to Modern Hindu Law. page 136.) .

The sociological view is that, "......every normal marriage has got the following essential elements: the living together, the gratification of sexual desire, the relation between husband and wife, and the procreation of progeny, though the relative importance attached to those elements varies from place to place. Thus the Romans regarded marriage as a purely family contract; whilst the Spartans representing the primitive Greek society considered marriage not as a private relation but as a public institution(Robert Briffault, The Mothers, I., page 525.). The Chinese considered marriage as an alliance between two families(Robert Briffault, The Mothers, I page 526; Family and Kinship in Chinese Society, page 180-185.). In America, the lower-class Negro families regard marriage as a 'fragile arrangement held together primarily by affectional ties rather than instrumental concerns(Robert Briffault, Selected Studies in Marriage and the Family, page 111.). To the tribal population of Kerala in South India, 'marriage is the formal ceremony which unites those who are forbidden to meet on the basis of social taboos, to form the preliminary nucleus of a family(A.A.D. Luiz, Tribes of Kerala, page 18.)"(Dr. Chanchala Kumar Chattajee, Rites and Rituals of Hindu Marriage, page 23.)
 Marriage in numerous cultures has many common symbols, and functions; the bride coming in covered from public view (Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh) the throwing of rice or akshata to bless (Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh); being married under a representation of the future home, a house/mandap (Jewish, Hindu, Sikh); circumambulation of the husband by the bride, seven times (Jewish, Hindu, Sikh); the giving of symbols that externally show that they are married - rings, mangal sutra, etc. (Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh); the feeding of sweets to the couple by each other (some Christian, Jewish, Hindu); the giving of gifts (Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh) - to me, these similarities resemble greater links between the cultures, and all of them having their origins in Vedic culture.

Unlike some who are so inclined, marriage is not something to be entered into with members of the same sex, as afore mentioned. This is seen as totally non-productive corruption of any conception that marriage could ever stand for. What they may want to do may be called so many other things, but it is NOT marriage as defined by sacred law.
 In the same way marriage is meant for invoking upon the couple all success. As we have mentioned above, it is to be entered into in full knowledge, and agreement.
 Marriage originally, is meant to assist one in one's sojourn through life, and not merely to fulfil animal instincts, of eating, sleeping, mating and defending. This has in some places left the meaning of WIFE to be Wonderful Instrument For Enjoyment. Consequently the wife become a vehicle for abuse only, and a non-entity in other respects. In the true meaning of marriage it is a concentual partnership, for the mutual benefit of the couple, the community, the nation and in total the world is better of for their union. The husband is the protector, and the wife as protected, protects him from becoming swayed towards other women by her fortitude of of religious principles. This is why in spiritual circles she is respectfully referred to as Stri Patni, or Dharmapatni, meaning one who is strong in helping the husband uphold cultural, religious, and righteous principles which are the integral basis of a God centred society.
 "This rebuts the statement of the social reformers to the effect that marriage is only a social contract between two independent individuals. On the other hand, it is an inseparable divine, religious bond or contract entered into by parties along with their parents, preceptors, elders and kinsmen in the presence of the Holy Fire representing the greatest Godhood, as well as of leaders of the society. Another factor which makes the marriage ceremony doubly sacred and inviolable is that the bride and bride-groom take an oath before the sacred fire to the effect that their hearts are united and they have become permanent companions in dharma, artha, and kaama (virtue, wealth and joy) and would not deviate from the moral path under any circumstances."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 117-118.)

"The element of spirituality in Hindu (Vedic) marriage has been pointed out in the paper, "An enquirey into idealism in Hindu Marriage"(Prof. Krishnagopal Goswami, 1941. Vol - LXXIX, Calcutta Review. page 45-48.) He states, "The Hindu marriage is primarily based upon spirituality - it being deemed altogether as a creation of the spirit. In its entire significance it represents neither a phenomenon of subjective arbitrariness nor a product of so-called natural law. On the other hand, like other phenomena of order, its origin is traced to some 'divine essence' which embodies transcendental perfection of consciousness and therefore competent to account for the supreme idealities that are associated with it. This theory of divine origin bears the implication that marriage as an ideal institution must be the creation of a divine mind or of a mind having the gift of divine insight and reason. the spiritual import of marriage is looked up to have been founded on some supra-sensuous experience which man, as he is constituted, can hardly discover for himself (by his blunt senses). And it is from this belief that marriage as religious institution is supposed to have been introduced by the law of a Divine Being who regulates and conducts the destiny of the world"(Prof. Krishnagopal Goswami, 1941. Vol - LXXIX, Calcutta Review. page 45-48.).
 This understanding allows one to enter into a realm in which the marriage institution aides and supports the householder to integrate properly into the universal principles and laws naturally functioning for those of us in the human form of life. Codes and duties are laid down by the Shastrakaras as to how and where one should perform such duties.
 Entering into householder life is not obligatory. One may remain unmarried as a monk ('sannyasin'), or 'brahmacari' (celebate student) and have no contact with the opposite sex, going on to take formal vows of life long celibacy in the 'sannyasa', abbot order. Neither of these two 'ashrams', places of social shelter have anything to do with sex or other household affairs. It is only the 'Grihashta', householder, with wife who does. Consequently one would, if in that particular station in life like to get it right.
  It should be known, and made clear that we are discussing marriage in its original, pure and functionary facility, and in no way are we condoning debauched social interaction that is witnessed, and partaken of by non-productive, exploitive sections of society. As that is not the purpose of marriage according those who are truly learned in this subject.
 "Marriage is obligatory for those (Hindus) who do not desire to adopt the perpetual 'brahmacari' or of a 'sannyasi' and that is why the debts reasonably incurred for marriage of a Twice-born Hindu ('brahmin') are binding on the joint family properties"(1914) 37. Madras, 273FB, approving Kameshwara Shastri Vs Veeracharlu (1911) 34, Madras 422. Vide also Sundarbhai Vs Shivnarain (1908) 32 Bombay, 81; Debilal Sah Vs Nandakishore Gir (1922) 1, Patna. 266., Dr. Chanchala Kumar Chatterjee, Characteristics of Hindoo Marriage, page 27.). These mechanisms are in place in society to deter from human society becoming like animal society. Where males who are of mating age, and who are without mate, or uncommitted, freely hang around 'desirable females' with the intention that if at some time the husband, father, or elder brothers are not giving protection and shelter, he will find an opportunity to fulfil base animal desires with her.
 There is no question or thought for family, lineage, gotra etc., only fulfilment of lusty desires. This is the common manner that so-called human society has diminished to in the present time. Consequently there are so many social ills occurring from such a situation as predicted in Bhagavad Gita (1:40-41.)
 

"When irreligion is prominent in the family, O Krishna, the women of the family become polluted, and from the degradation of womanhood, O descendant of Vrishni, comes unwanted progeny."

"An increase of unwanted population certainly causes hellish life for both the family and for those who destroy the family tradition. The ancestors of such corrupt families fall down, because the performances for offering them food and water after death through ritual (pinda or shraddha) are entirely stopped."
 

"By the inappropriate deeds of those who destroy the family tradition and thus give rise to unwanted children, all kinds of community projects and family welfare activities are wasted/ruined/devastated."

Looking around at the ridiculous situations that arise in this world due to incompatibility of marriage, dysfunctional families as these persons are known; their problems and in many cases the unwanted children coming from such relationships made me research this subject to try to present this paper as an aid for perspective couples in taking further shelter of a realistic way of doing things.

"The ritual of Saptapadi, the seven steps - the mantras, looking at Dhruva star (the pole star) or Arundahati (among the Great Bear) - all these bear testimony to the great sanctity and inviolability of this sacred institution called marriage. A question may be asked at this juncture. 'Why should people consult astrologers for fixing marital alliances, as they are made in Heaven?' True, it has been already fixed by destiny or God. Still man tries his best to find out God's will on the basis of the rules prescribed by ancient sages. Unless there is Rnaanubandha, bond of karma of previous life binding two souls in holy wedlock, there cannot be true marriage. On the other hand, if the karmic bond between two persons (partners) is not sufficiently strong and lasting, it might break in the middle. To get over all such hurdles and troubles, parents of girls and boys seek the help of learned and devoted astrologers to know about the compatibility of the two horoscopes in respect to Gana, Dina, and others, ten or twelve in all, as well as health, longevity, issue, financial positions etc."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 118.)

As you will see, as we press on there are many main supportive accounts taken into consideration, keeping our objectivity, and yet unbiased overall view. However, contrary to modern day deistic propagandist or Judaeo-Christian missionary theorists, the Vedic culture has been successfully functioning and influencing others in one form or another all over the world for many thousands of years(P.N.Oak, 1983. "Vedic World Heritage."; "A Review of Beef in Ancient India", 1971. Western Indologists : A Study of Motives, pages 17-38.) Those who are from other cultures as I was, and who have done some research will know that the whole Vedic system of religious culture is designed to invoke remembrance and dependence on Lord Sri Krishna, Vasudeva the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and His pure devotees, who just for reference, also followed this system.
 Previously, and practically speaking, everyone followed this system irrespective whether one's situation was 'brahmin' (intellectual - priest), 'kshatri' (administrator - politician - military or police), 'vaishya' (merchant - business person - farmer), or 'shudra' (untrained or unskilled general worker). It was and for many still is a proven science accepted by all the great authorities of yore.
 This is not only peculiar to the Indian subcontinent, and certainly not to any particular sect or caste.

"The Halbas, a forest tribe of Central Provinces (Madhya Pradesha) of India, take care to examine the suitability of the match. Thus before fixing a marriage the Joshi or caste-priest, examines the names of both the  bride and the bridegroom, and if according to his calculations the names do not tally, the name of the bridegroom is changed either temporarily or permanently(R.V. Russel, Tribes and Castes of the Central Provinces, III, page 190.). Among the Kurubha tribes of Southern India , the father of the bridegroom observes certain marks on the head of the proposed bride before selection. The marks or curls are cautiously observed. Some of these marks or curls forebode prosperity while others only misery to the family(Edgar Thurston, Castes and Tribes of Southern India, IV, page 145.). The Marathas of Bombay take utmost care in tallying the horoscope of both the bride and the bridegroom before marriage. an astrologer is consulted and if the horoscope of the bride and the bridegroom tally, marriage is settled(R.E. Enthoven, The Tribes and Castes of Bombay, III, page 30.). Similarly the Agarwalas of North Western Provinces of India, compare the horoscope of both the bride and the bridegroom before settling a marriage(W. Crooke, op. cit, I, page 20.). The same practice is prevalent among the Tibetans(Tsung-Lien Shen & Shen-Chi Liu, Tibet and the Tibetans, page 145.). In East Anglia, England, once it was the practiced that if a woman married a man with the surname beginning with the same letter as her own, bad luck would dog their steps from the moment solemnisation of marriage(George Ryley Scott, Curious customs of Sex and Marriage, page 125.). Likewise in China marriage is prohibited between pairs of the same surname(Kenneth Scott Latourette, The Chinese - their history and culture, page 671. 3rd edn. 2 vols in one). In Bengal today also horoscopes are compared before marriage and very often the name of the bride is changed in her husband's house if it is similar to the names of any one of the superiors. The Ho tribes of Singhbhum district keenly observe the omens at the time of negotiation(D.N. Majumder, The Affairs of a Tribe, page 133.)."(Dr. Chanchal Kumar Chatterjee, Studies in the rites and rituals of Hindu marriage in ancient India, page 266.).
 Our authority Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada says, (Srimad Bhagavatam 3:21:15., Srimad Bhagavatam 4:13:39., Srimad Bhagavatam 1:12:12/13., purports), that consulting brahminical astrologers to find practical times for the performance of purificatory rites is very important, and will help in the upliftment of society in this fallen age. Srila Prabhupada specifically makes what I feel to be a very profound statement as to why we should use these facilities at hand to help everyone find the best arrangement. "According to Vedic civilisation, therefore, before the marriage takes place an account is taken of the boy's and girl's families. If according to astrological calculation the combination is perfect, then the marriage takes place. Sometimes, however, there is a mistake, and family life becomes frustrating"(SB 4:13:39). One could well then ask what about marriages that come about of some random agreement............! This will be explained herein. There are so many quotations that can be referred to, on both astrology and compatibility, but to keep this direct and to the point of synastry, compatibility and to keep your attention to these few pages we will try to condense as much as possible.

As usual the main thing I feel in presenting this, is faithfully trying to follow in the footsteps of the previous 'Acaryas' (teachers) and 'Purohits' (domestic priests) of yore, in that way we can use the following rules from shastra as guide lines for selection of compatibility for marriage, selective breeding for an advanced, caring, and God Conscious civilisation, in the present and for the future. This method which is part of the function of the 'samskara' rites as mentioned and inferred to in many of the purports surrounding Lord Caitanya's, Lord Rama's and Lord Krishna's appearance in this world, as well as other great devotees. As Srila Prabhupada tries to encourage us in the development of true 'brahminical' culture as found in his books, we are shown by him how to practically apply this culture, and imbibe it as a means to strengthen the society at large. There are many ways he suggests to do this, primarily they are all directed at absorption in the science of Krishna consciousness, of which Lord Sri Krishna is the central focus. This department of Vedic knowledge is sometimes known as 'Kalavidya' there is one nice purport which is rather supportive of this understanding (Hrydayananda das Goswami. Srimad Bhagavatam 11:3:26.), "There are other Vedic literatures, called Kala vidya, which give instructions in material arts and sciences. Since all such Vedic arts and sciences are ultimately intended to be used to render devotional service to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Keshava, saintly persons in the renounced order of life should never blaspheme such apparently mundane literatures; because such literatures are indirectly connected with the Supreme Lord, one may go to hell for blaspheming these secondary literatures."
 "Sraddha indicates a faithful mentality, which can be analysed in two sections. The first type of faith is a firm conviction that all the statements of the multifarious Vedic literatures are true. In other words, the understanding that Vedic knowledge in general is infallible is called Sraddha, or faith. A second type of faith is the belief that one must personally carry out a particular injunction of the Vedic literature in order to achieve his goal in life. A devotee of the Supreme Lord should thus apply the first type of faith to the various kala vidyas, or Vedic material arts and sciences, but he should not accept such scriptures as pointing out his personal goal in life. Nor should he carry out any Vedic injunctions that is contradictory to the injunctions of Vaisnava scriptures such as the Pancharatra."
 "Thus one should faithfully accept all Vedic literature as directly or indirectly describing the Supreme Personality of Godhead and should not blaspheme any portion of it. Even for Lord Brahma, as well as for other creatures, down to the insignificant unmoving species such as trees and stones, blasphemy of any Vedic literature causes one to merge into the darkness of ignorance. Thus the suras - demigods, great sages and devotees of the Lord - should understand that the Pancharatric literature, as well as the four Vedas, the original Ramayana, the Srimad Bhagavatam and other Puranas, and the Mahabharata, are Vedic literatures that establish the supremacy of the Supreme Personality of Godhead and the unique transcendental position of the Lord's devotees according to their status of spiritual advancement. Any other vision of Vedic literatures is to be considered an illusion. In all authorised religious scriptures the ultimate goal is to understand that the Supreme Personality of Godhead is the controller of everything and everyone, and that the Lord's devotees are not different from Him, although such devotees are to be understood in terms of their level of spiritual advancement."(Hrydayananda das Goswami. Srimad Bhagavatam 11:3:26.).

If one takes a little time to analyse the 'samskara' rites one can appreciate that they are not mere rituals, or 'smarta' type hair splitting technicalities. Rather they help one to reaffirm faith in the supremacy of the Lord by practical application of one's present, proposed, or potential station in life. Even the Lord Himself in His multitude of appearances underwent these practices to show us the method of cultural advancement, as they are fundamental part of 'brahminical' society. We can see directly the result of the process in a practical manner, as devotees remember the Lord in every facet of their existence.
 Personally in our family, ....and in some of the Temples that I have served in, we have been practicing successfully, and attracting persons also to follow the same, for they/we have been seeing things work practically, now for many years.
 From reading Srimad Bhagavatam and Sri Caitanya Caritamrta, directly in connection with this process of 'samskaras', we see that Srila Prabhupada wanted a 'brahminical' basis for society to follow, specifically in the purport of Srimad Bhagavatam 10:8:6., wherein Srila Prabhupada mentions that "ISKCON is very eager to re-introduce 'varnashrama'" for the betterment of humanity.
 Without labouring this point too much, some present that all is required is to chant the Holy Name of the Lord. And as we have said, on numerous occasions that is very good, and undoubtably true and practiced by all 'paramahamsa' devotees who have taken such cent per cent shelter of the Lord. However the  for the general populous who are aspiring to do so tend to recognise more the changing world around them than the precious nature and 'ashraya' of the Name. For those, there is a system by which at every material junction of life, conditional as they/we are, there is a sacred rite to redirect one back to one's constitutional position, as a servant of God.
 It seems that sometimes as though the thought of the word 'rituals' puts mental blocks in the minds of many devotees. However these can be easily removed when one understands the purpose, and reason for such activities and how they work. We have heard accusations of them being a leaning towards smarta-dom; thinking them totally unnecessary, or at best festive. Deity worship is also based on ritual, but ritual meaning 'tantra', or 'viddhi' - the following of a particular methodology or guidelines to direct or enable one to focus properly on the Lord. It may be agreeable, we hope, that while at least in the conditioned stage of our development, we follow guidelines as laid down in scripture, ....later, after asakti we can spontaneously interact directly with the Lord without such 'confining rituals'.
 Srila Baladeva Vidyabhusana elaborates more on this in his Govinda Bhasya, ".....as for the various fruitive results, such as the attainment of rain, son,  or residence in a celestial material planet, that are offered to the followers of the 'karma-kanda' rituals in the Veda, these benefits are offered to attract the minds of ordinary men. When ordinary men see that these material benefits are actually attained by performing Vedic Rituals, they become attracted to study the Vedas. By studying the Vedas they are able to discriminate between what is temporary and what is eternal. In this way they gradually become averse to the temporary things of this world and they come to hanker after brahman. In this way it may be understood that all the parts of the Vedas describe the Supreme Personality of Godhead."
 "Vedic rituals bring material benefits as a result only when the performer of the ritual is filled with material desire. If the performer is materially desireless, then he does not gain a material result, but rather the result he obtains is purification of the heart and the manifestation of spiritual knowledge. Therefore the meaning of the verse 'tam etamvedanuvacanena brahmana vividishanti', '...brahmanas study the Vedas to understand the Supreme Personality of Godhead.'(Brihad Aranyaka Upanishad 4:4:22) is that in the Vedic rituals when one is required to worship a particular demigod, one does so as a limb or representative of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and thus by worshiping them one is actually worshipping the Supreme Lord, the result being that one gradually becomes pure in heart and awake to spiritual knowledge"(Baladev Vidyabhushana, Govinda Bhasya commentary on Vedanta Sutra 1:4:4., Adhikarana - Sutra 4.)

In the same way the purpose of Vedic astrology is not meant for the trap that many fall into going to astrologers who often turn their whole life upside down, causing more trouble than was there to being with. For this reason the Olde Testement figure, Isiah said, "Astrology may in the wrong hand lead away from God", the same Olde Testement said, "God said let there be lights in the heavens, and let them give us signs." Due to various social and political themes of the times even up until recently, and in some instances even today astrologers have been persecuted as heretics, while priests, cardinals, etc., used astrology to build churches, have icons fashioned (carved), chartered events, set good times for meetings etc., etc. After years of repression and intimidating propaganda in the 1950's with the "Repeal of Witchcraft Act" - allowed people to practice astrology freely.
 Unfortunately, how astrology had been viewed was often toward that of prying into the future, where we have no business - St Augustine - believed it improper to pry into the mind of God "profaning what is truly Holy". From the other side, some astrologers used the science as a business, and also to manipulate their clientelle to further business.
 Such astrology obviously caused disturbances rather than helped society. It is not meant to cause disturbances, or pre-empt one's direction in life by 'invoked or auto suggestion. This science, and the practitioners of this science should be careful to assist in a professional manner clients who come for help. I humbly suggest that if considerations are taken up by mature astrologers, and priests the bad reputation that astrology has in some quarters due to it misuse can be turned around. After all this is a genuine science, and it is rather silly to continuously go through life throwing out one baby with the bath water after another. Rather this method of analysing one's karmic lot has the potential to positively optimise the stellar and karmic influences which everyone comes across in one's individual microtic situation, as well as one's meso socio interaction, exo cultural development and macro holistic overall outlook towards life.

"Recently there is a widespread tendency among professional astrologers to offer annual results as cheaply as a few 'annas'(next to nothing) and some of them ask for the writing time or names of flowers too! Such predictions are written out or printed and kept ready as ready made garments to fit in any one and every one. Selection is made from a set of printed predictions and the only data taken into consideration is the radical Moon. I am constrained to remark that such methods are not only unscientific but bring ill repute and disgrace to the Science of Astrology. A cautious and wise student of astrology should make predictions only after careful analysis of Natal, progressed horoscope and transit directions. Such predictions will always be correct and bring fame and fair name to the astrologer and the Science. A friend of mine, a lover of astrology, recently after getting his annual reading from a reputed astrologer remarked, 'these astrologers have become a menace to society.' He referred to a very assertive statement of the astrologer that in 1949 he would have a son."("Jupiter". 10th reprint 1978. page 172. D.B.Taraporevala Sons & Co. Bombay, India.)
 "......we find that Jupiter and the Moon occupies the 5th house. Jupiter in the 5th house would restrict the number of issues. He is a malefic for people born in Taurus. Thus his malefic influence is two fold in the 5th. He is aspected by Saturn and Mars from the 11th house. Thus Jupiter and the 5th house have heavy affliction. The lord of the 5th Mercury is associated with the Sun and posited in the 7th house aspected by Rahu. Thus the lord of the 5th also suffers heavy affliction. From the Natal chart, we understand that there is little possibility of the native having a child in his life. The horoscope of the wife of the native who is born in Virgo has Jupiter in Capricorn, debilitated in the 5th house. Thus sterility in both the cases is evident. Yet the astrologer made an assertive statement that the native would get a son in 1949, perhaps based on the transit of Jupiter in the 5th from Radical Moon and because the Main period of Jupiter who is the planet occupying the 5th house and the sub-period of the lord of 5th was in progress. How could birth of children be predicted for people who are sterile?"("Jupiter". 10th reprint 1978. page 174. D.B.Taraporevala Sons & Co. Bombay, India.)

The fact of the matter remains that astrology as a science has been around for many thousands of years. So many people are looking for answers and direction from above. For many under God's domain, the stars are the revealed heavens.
 "Why so many people then turn away from the church and other narrow institutions is because the institution have actually moved away from the wholistic concept of God with everything structured around him for His service. Thus it has failed to attract people to its doors. The wholisitc approach however, has been around for 1000's of years. Astrology is an ancient belief and practice for re-affirming human significance and values where in a modern scientific world it would be otherwise atheistic, cold and unfeeling."(Father Norman Walker. 1992. Access Community Radio 810 AM., Auckland.)

Srila A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada writes, "According to the Vedic system, the parents would consider the horoscopes of the boy and girl who were to be married. If according to astrological calculations the boy and the girl were compatible in every respect, the match was called yojaka and the marriage would be accepted. Even fifty years ago, this system was current in Hindu society. Regardless of the affluence of the boy or the personal beauty of the girl, without this astrological compatibility the marriage would not take place. A person is born in one of three categories, known as deva-gana, manushya-gana, and rakshasa-gana. In different parts of the universe there are demigods and demons, and in human society also some people resemble demigods whereas others resemble demons. If according to astrological calculations there was conflict between a godly and a demoniac nature, the marriage would not take place. Similarly, there were calculations of pratiloma and anuloma. The central idea is that if the boy and the girl were on an equal level the marriage would be happy, whereas inequality would lead to unhappiness. Because care is no longer taken in marriage, we now find many divorces. Indeed, divorce has now become a common affair, although formally one's marriage would continue life long, and the affection between husband and wife was so great that the wife would voluntarily die when her husband died or would remain a faithful widow throughout her entire life. Now, of course, this is no longer possible, for human society has fallen to the level of animal society. Marriage now takes place simply by agreement. Dampatye 'bhirucir hetuh (Srimad Bhagavatam. 12:2:3.). The word abhiruci means 'agreement.' If the boy and girl simply agree to marry, the marriage takes place. But when the Vedic system is not rigidly observed, marriage frequently ends in divorce"(Srimad Bhagavatam 9:18:23. purport) The same is echoed in Srimad Bhagavatam 3:21:15. as follows, "In spite of his condemning persons who approach the Lord for material advantages, Kardama Muni expressed his material inability and desire before the Lord by saying, 'Although I know that nothing material should be asked from you, I nevertheless desire to marry a girl of like disposition.'  The phrase 'like disposition' is very significant. Formerly, boys and girls of similar dispositions were married; the similar natures of the boy and the girl were united in order to make them happy.  Not  more than twenty years ago, and perhaps still current, parents in India used to consult the horoscope of the boy and the girl to see whether there would be factual union in their psychological conditions. These considerations are very important. Nowadays marriage takes place without such consultation, and therefore, soon after marriage, there is divorce and separation...................!"
 If responsible action is taken by parents/guardians etc., before the required time of sexual maturation, many potential problems can and will be avoided.

3/. The Mysterious Force:
"Marriages (at least good ones) are made in heaven. That's the nearly worldwide sentiment about the destiny of relationships, whether you ask the Matyos of Hungary, who believe a 'mysterious force, Love, draws the couple to each other', or hollywood's Alan Rudolph, whose Made in Heaven film characters - one recently dead, the other an unborn virgin soul - meet in heaven and discover they were 'made for each other'. That's the easy part; once incarnate, they have to find each other again against formidable obstacles, mostly psychological. In Rudolph's view the fact that these two pledged their truth before birth guarantees a profoundly satisfying, even blissful, match once they are born as man and woman - providing they can find each other again. As their presiding angelic genius locus tells them, if they don't meet each other by age thirty, they'll each marry someone else and remain unhappy for life.
 "Folk wisdom of nearly all cultures has perennially acknowledged that certain matches are meant to be. The couple is right and the time is right. When these two factors are simultaneously 'right' then marriage is auspicious.

Astrology - Advanced Information on Relationship Dynamics.
"Astrology is the science of auspiciousness that puts folk wisdom into precise, predictive terms. Despite centuries of ridicule by mainstream science, in recent decades astrology has regained a measure of respectability and acknowledged practicality in the West. Many people consult qualified astrologers for background information on important decisions, from stock investment to travel plans -  and an increasing number of intellectually adventurous couples are using this powerful tool to gauge the appropriateness of a match and the best time for the wedding ceremony.
 "Astrology qualifies what folk wisdom suggests that certain times in the year, month and day may be more favourable for weddings. As eighteenth century British moralist William Cowper put it 'Misses! the tale that I relate / The lesson seems to carry - Chose not alone a proper mate / But proper time to marry.' Implicit in the folkways of traditional peoples who honour this view is the belief that starting a marriage off at the right time and with the right understanding can make all the difference in the quality of its outcome.
 "Marital unions may be conceived in heaven, but we commonly overlook a crucial question in our late-twentieth-century approach to wedding plans. Between whom and when can marriages be most auspiciously formalised? We assume that because we're in love, our partner is unarguably perfect for us. Perhaps. But when the initial ravishment wanes and the practicalities of living together emerge, the relationship becomes more realistic. Astrological analysis of one's proposed partner before the wedding, even before betrothal, can provide invaluable advance information about the possible shoals and waves and delights the relationship is likely to generate. It's then  not a question of abandoning the proposed match, but rather appreciating the old bromide that forewarned is fore-armed. A competent astrologer can provide accurate information one step ahead of your intuition or actual experience in the relationship, articulating the hidden issues for the benefit of both partners. In a sense astrological analysis is another form of marriage counselling, except that it's undertaken (one hopes) at the beginning of a relationship or marriage and not after it has become bumpy and fraught with inexplicable difficulty.
 "Astrology provides a predictive vocabulary that assesses potential compatibility between mates, so that choosing a partner is based on more than initial attraction and shred interests. In the same way, astrology teaches that there is more to setting the date than what weekends are convenient for aunts and uncles from out of state (out of town). The wedding customs of many of the older folk cultures preserve this awareness, offering the world culture wedding a valuable resource. Crucial questions need to be answered: Is this person I've fallen in love with the right match for me? What is the right time, the most auspicious moment, for the wedding?  The answers to these questions are the focus of this chapter, as we draw first from Western folk traditions of timing and mate selection, then delve deeper into the science of astrology in Chinese, Hindu, and Western cultures.

Naming the Day - Moving from Profane to Sacred Time.
"For most contemporary couples, the proper time to wed is largely a matter of convenience when the parents, relatives, and friends can come (usually a weekend); when the weather will be user-friendly (usually summer); when churches / temples are available (usually Saturday); and when it's most popular and socially correct (typically June through to September - Northern Hemisphere / November through to February - Southern Hemisphere). But according to world folk-lore wisdom and Eastern spiritual traditions, establishing the correct time for a wedding may be a bigger, more vital subject, more profound than the arguments of convenience suggest.
 "When the question of timing comes up in Western-Judeo-Christian culture, suitable wedding dates have usually been determined with respect to preexistent liturgical calenders that mark holy days. Secular wedding celebrations must not interfere with the hieratic, ecclesiastical cycles of the year. Therefore, to prevent nuptial contretemps, it's been customary within the tight folds of orthodox established religions for the priest, minister, or rabbi to take responsibility for 'naming the day'.
 "The folk-lore constellated about the theme of naming the day is complex, sometimes contradictory, but consistently intriguing. If the plethora of customs and traditions we're about to examine has one common theme, it's the inference that ordinary, calendrical time - yearly, seasonal, monthly, weekly, daily, hourly - has a sacred as well as a mundane dimension; and that a major life transition ritual such as a wedding properly takes place within sacred time. A correctly placed event thus becomes auspicious.
 "The scattily of time and the appropriateness of the moment were once cornerstones of an entire cosmological view of the world, human life, and the universe; in fact, all human social activities, from agriculture to marriage, were undertaken within this sacralised context. According to scholars of myth, this context of sanctified time was the fertile soil from which all human ritual observance sprouted. The core rituals of human life, says Mircea Eliade, were originally offered in imitation of stages of the Creation for the 'continuous regeneration of time'. If the perennial wisdom implicit in folklore is to be trusted, it's telling us that our choice of day and hour can have an import that surpasses what convenience, personality, and conventionality would reasonably dictate."(Richard Leviton. 1993. Weddings by Design, pages 13-15.)

4/. The Malady Without Sacred Marriage:
Bhuta Graha (Repression of the impulses results in............)
One such problem that has a tendency to surface, and which has been briefly speculated upon by Sigmund Freud in his pursuit of psychosexual analysis is "Bhuta Graha", or as it is generally termed in India due to its sensitivity 'Graha Vigvagha'. Naturally it is a delicate situation, one could imagine how someone goes to a doctor and subsequently gets told that they are haunted, it is enough to block any conversation after that. We have also experienced that same frustration in due course of our service.
 According to Ayurvedic Medicine there are eight different departments set up by the founders of that great science, Lord Dhanvantari, Prajapati Brahma, Prajapati Daksa, the Aswini Kumaras, Shushruta Muni, Maharaj Nimi (who issued the Nimi Tantra), which all try to deal with the various diseases, accidents, aging developments, problems and occurrences in the body. These eight departments are Kay chikisa, dealing with the anatomy; Bala roga vigvagha, bala means children, the paediatric department, gynaecology, osticology; (Bhuta) Graha vigvagha, deals with the subtle realm, mental disturbances, one's thinking, psychosomatic diseases and epilepsy, as well as yosha pasmara, a kind of epilepsy found in women. 'Graha vigvagha' also includes bacteriology which falls into the category of the unseen; Urdvanga, Shalakya Tantra spoken by Nimi, Urdvanga means the upper part of the body, head and neck, E. N. T. (Ear, Nose, Throat) and Eye; Shalya, means surgery, even "plastic surgery" grafting etc., spoken by Shushruta more than 2000 years ago; Damshtra, is the science of recovering a person from the effects of poisons either swallowed, or snake bite, spider...........etc., came via teeth, damstra means teeth, (yours or someone else's); Jara, deals with old age, geriatrics etc; and Vishayi, rejuvenation, convalescence etc.
 Genuinely 'bhuta graha' is a real influence of ghosts, but it is not like being totally possessed. In one who is totally possessed the soul who took his birth in that body takes a back seat so to speak, while a much stronger personality takes over the fulfilment of his or her desires. Sometimes there are seen to be arguments, or discussions going on as "they" walk down the street.

'Bhuta graha' is not exactly like this, sometimes it is hardly noticeable in some persons except for when they become more afflicted with the modes of passion and ignorance. Although due to the intense desire, all consuming thoughts, actual haunting make develop.
 In 'Bhuta Graha' as well as regular haunting, if it develops or happens, a likely time that it may become present is due to stress, some personal upheaval, when they don't know which way to turn, or some trauma, lamentation, anxiety, or in a more gross sense due to intoxication, any or either way. So one could say, what better time than adolescence?
 It is seen that it becomes all encumbering and either they go on some kind of binge, or flip out, try to kill someone (even themselves), try to rape some poor girl (or throw themselves at some poor boy), or talk of fulfilling strange and perverted desires, or just become incurably self indulgent.
 Actually it is not them who is acting strangely it is the 'bhutas' (ghostly), or 'bhuta' like desires who they have allowed to come in. The unfortunate situation is, that due to some deficiency in the holistic nature of the person as a whole, there is weakness of the intelligence. The intelligence, as we just mentioned is meant to be able to discriminate and guide the mind or desires of the soul, as to what is to be done, either enjoy, or not try to enjoy in a particular manner, according to culture. Generally civilised humans have some religious, or at least some moral codes that they live by, and by following them it keeps one associating with a particular mode of nature, be it goodness, passion or ignorance. But caught in the snare of lusty desires tends to throw one down to the lower natures of passion and ignorance.
 'Bhuta Graha', when medically described it is actually it is labelled as a form of epilepsy that is found in young unmarried women or girls. Though it is not epilepsy proper, it is more a psychosomatic problem. As with others who are affected by 'bhutas' they also have many desires yet to be fulfilled. Deep inside there is the desire for a husband, children and the security that women need, to function properly. Yet due to the pressures of society, especially family, plus the hormonal changes that are going on  in their bodies, the development from girls to physically mature women, anxiety builds up and as a pressure valve or release valve such things as mood changes; doing things for attention; pretending to be raped or abused; inventing friends; other eccentric behaviour; or depression; argumentation; disturbed sleep; breathing problems; "fits or epilepsy"; bolemia; anorexia; and even seeming semi conscious fainting has been seen to occur. Sigmund Freud said that this kind of repression of the impulses results in he says paranoid. We have seen all of the above over the years occurring in Iskcon. And it's due to suppressing the natural desires instead of understanding what they are, and dealing with them accordingly. 'Vishaya vinvartante niraharasya dehinah'.......Bhagavad Gita 2:59., one cannot merely suppress desires, rather one must gain a higher taste through training or education as to what is what.
 In less morally oriented or lower class girls, who are less concerned with what society or the family thinks of them, they take to flirting with young boys, and even indulge in and search for gross sex, and it takes place. But in more prestigious families, better educated or informed, more cultured girls, we have studied, things would be different. If the girls at the same time as maintaining their external moral show, are lusty within then the complexities of 'bhuta graha' often take place.
 I have seen in many incidences, symptoms of 'bhuta graha' where a constant battle for even keel goes on for years, because they just won't give up the pursuit for sense gratification, or be totally honest about their feelings. In others we have seen this syndrome drive deep into the emotions making girls stop having their monthly periods, or having fainting spells, or there are times when the build up is too much and they just "go ape." In others who have tried to live a cloistered life, we have seen it take them away from devotional service to fulfil their separate interests of those lusty desires, which take many forms. It may take the shape of gross sex, or even to travel here and there with the view to finding a mate, often with goals set way out of human reach; others go for the accumulation of material goods, anything from a new Rolex watch, to fast cars, fine clothing, mobile phone, big houses, jet setting jobs, anything to try to draw attention to themselves, and their success.
 "This condition I may add is not isolated to young girls, - unmarried men, 'brahmacaris' also fall prey to this"(Dr. Liladhar Gupta, 1993. Ayurvedic Medicine - 'Bhuta Graha' - Interview. Access Community Radio 810AM. Auckland). It has been observed that as one's years increase it becomes more subtle, though not in every case, to the extreme point that the midlife crisis, when one's life is perceived as running out, and all those desires begin to again manifest, divorce may occur; taking a mistress; chasing young girls etc.; thus the dirty old man, or feme fatal syndromes have been seen to develop as a result.
 There are always opportunists who will take advantage of a situation for their own enjoyment. In the same way there are always ghosts around in the day and in the night, and especially at the conjunctions of both, if they find a good candidate to enjoy through they will try to make the necessary arrangements for their desires and the girls (or boys) to be fulfilled. Bhutas who are of the subtle realm, having bodies made of intelligence, mind and false ego, they can sense the lusty desires that have been hidden below the surface, that have  not actually been kicked out, or replaced. Thus it is seen that there is a dichotomy in the victim, externally everything looks very good but under the surface lusty desires are being played with. In actual fact they are their own victims.

I asked the Dr Liladhar Gupta for further reflections on this subject, .....his reply was more explanatory, "In the name of dignity, sophistication or fashion, both sexes have been exploited to the full. Men tend to go for the macho role model, while the women the seductress, and they don't even realise how they are being led. Or for that matter that they are doing as programmed."
 "If they don't know what they are doing one may well ask then, why do you girls dress so seductively if you don't want some one to become attracted in that way. The same could be asked of those a little older and 'wiser'. It is not for your husband, you are not yet married. So what are you doing, or what do they want? What to speak of dressing scantily / seductively in the presence of men other than their husbands. The answer is that brainwashed by the media and bewildered by lusty peer pressure that they cannot help themselves."
 "So the task of the parent or guardian to educate the younger generation in their care is a very big and multiple faceted job, but if reasonably well done can save a person from all kinds of unnecessary trouble." Dr. Liladhar Gupta. 1993. at Iskcon, New Varshan - Interview/discussion.)

Safe Sex.
In this day and age there is a lot of talk of safe sex. The Vedic perspective is definitely orientated in this idea. However, the modern, and I may add rather limited and narrow concept of safe, is vastly different from that of the Vedic, and I may add, Wholistic/Holistic meaning of safe.
 The modern version means that one can have sex-life by using modern contraceptive methods so that one can try to positively avoid the diseases that come from unrestricted sex-life with many partners, and the exchange of bodily fluids, some of whom the owners of may not be so particular about their habits or life-style. So one "takes precautions". It's a little like knowing that the fuse on a stick of dynamite is twenty seconds and so making plans how to enjoy within that time frame, but inadvertently trying to avoid the fact that the thing is going to go off in one's face very shortly, and has the potential to cause prolonged suffering, or even death.
 "Did you take precautions?" Real precaution is not to engage in the activities in the first place; prevention of contacting an unnecessary potential problem, being better than inventions designed at avoiding having to find a cure. Having said that, we must emphasise that the purpose of this paper is not to stop people from getting married or from having sex, rather it is to show through insight, a sane method by wich to do it safely for the benefit of the entire society - Real Family Planning - Real Safe Sex.

5/. Sex as worshipful 'God' !:
There is a Vedic saying that sex and marriage are part of household life. A couple come together in wed-lock with the idea of having a family. Family does not just mean husband and wife it means children, so householder life means sex. Not unrestricted, illicit sex. But as is stated by Lord Krishna in the sacred Bhagavad Gita, "I am sex life which is not contrary to religious principles" (Lord Sri Krishna, +3000 B.C. Bhagavad Gita Ch 7:11.) This means for the propagation of children, and not otherwise, and then to assist in the development of the offspring's gradual progression toward returning to our original spiritual home. "Kandarpa is the sex desire for presenting good sons; therefore Kandarpa is the representative of Krishna. Sometimes sex is engaged in only for sense gratification; such sex does not represent Krishna. But sex for the generation of good children is called Kandarpa (the God of love) and represents Krishna" (A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami, Bhagavad Gita As It Is, Ch10:28. purport, page, 540.).

It may appear to some that these 'restrictions' are actually restricting, but in actuality they are the guidelines for safe social interaction, to save us from complications that naturally occur when one contravenes the laws of nature.
 Sex and finding members of the opposite sex attractive are a very well designed method for the preservation of the species. It is a kin to the 'attachment' that is naturally formulated by the gurgling, smiling and other antics of young babies, that make care-givers/guardians/parents dedicate their undivided attention to the welfare of the new born. "The burden of tending for the young baby is compensated by the baby's smiling, gurgling, and clasping fingers etc., all of which form attachment, and bonding, and the child is taken care of. It has be also observed that in children who do not respond so easily, or even respond badly, that parents or care givers do not formulate attachment, but rather negative attachments"(John Bowby 1907-1990. An Ethological View of Child Development.. 1982. page 182.; 282-85.; Answorth et al., 1971., 1978.) Otherwise why do it?
 With nurture and nature, the Lord has made irrefutable mechanisms for the on going procreation and maintenance of every species. We observe in the animal species, cats, dogs etc., the female 'comes on heat'. At this time she emits a scent that males of the species, in the area find attractive, they pick it up and pursue her for inter-course. In the human species we have observed similar mechanisms in place.
 In the menstrual cycle of women we can observe that women appear to change at the time of ovulation. They become more sensuous, their skin releases oils that give a certain 'attractive' lustre, their eyes become wider and with larger pupils. Many women know when they are ovulating due to the sticky emission of fluids from their vagina. Most men are unconscious of the blatant facts as to why they are especially attracted at this time. Actually it is all part of the same reproductive mechanism given to each species by the Lord. Just as a relative comparison; nature has also made the menstrual period, the time when women lose blood as their bodies are cleansed. However, the losing of blood makes them weak and irritable, most intelligent men keep their distance at this time, consequently another provision of nature to naturally avoid intimate contact or sex at this time.

Everything has been sufficiently structured, so that we can live nicely together, continue the species, and afterwards pass on. Selective, and intimate relationships, are natures method of continuing the process. That's the reason that sex life sensually 'feels good', the genitals have this special function for procreation. When one becomes older, and quality of semen in men decreases, and less or no eggs fall from the ovaries, the function, and desire, and capability for sex-life naturally decreases. This is the method that the Lord has designed for the on-going creation, and selection of good quality breeding. Older people, although liking to dote young grand children, do not have the inclination or patience in most cases to rear babies. Thus it is rare that they have them at this time of life.
 Sex is specifically for the procreation of children, the next generation. For this purpose it is totally natural, for any other it is unnatural and brings the various consequences that now pervade the planet; sexually transmitted diseases, abortion, rape, pornography, child prostitution, homosexuality, transvestites, confused transsexuals' and other perversions of what sex is originally meant for.

Abuse is an interesting word, one which is widely used today. Literally it means, "to use improperly or injuriously; to mistreat; to misemploy (Funk & Wangnals Dictionary, 1946. page 8.) It is not a matter of choice, or living in the nineties attitude.........it is simply not a matter of opinion. Put your fingers in the fire, you're going to get burned, neglecting known properties of fire or any other interactive element is not wise. Restrictions are made as a safe guard so as not to cause us the problems that seem to be plaguing the world at present.

"There are restrictions for the householders even in sex-life, which should only be engaged in for the propagation of children. If he does not require children, he should not enjoy sex life with his wife. Modern society enjoys sex life with contraceptive methods or more abominable methods (abortion and contraception - murder in the womb) to avoid the responsibility of children. This is not in the transcendental quality, but is demoniac. If anyone, even the householder, wants to make progress in spiritual life, he must control his sex life and should not beget children without the purpose of serving Krishna. If he is able to beget children who will be in Krishna consciousness, one can produce hundreds of children, but without this capacity one should not indulge only for sense pleasure"(A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami, Bhagavad Gita As It Is, Ch. 16:3. purport page. 744.). "Generally it is the ambition of a young girl to have a very handsome husband who is learned, clever, young and rich. According to the Vedic culture, one is rich if he possesses a large stock of food grains and a very large number of animals. 'Dhanyena dhanavan gavaya dhanavan': one is rich if he possesses food grains, cows and bulls. A girl also desires to have many children, especially sons ('putra') who are very intelligent and long living. Now there is propaganda to have one or two children and kill the rest by contraceptive methods because society has deteriorated. But the natural ambition of a girl is to possess not only more than one child but at least half a dozen"(A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, Chaitanya Charitamrta Adi-lila: Chapter 14:55., Purport.)

"Marriage on the principles of religious life is therefore current in all civilised human society because that is the way for restricted sex life. This restricted, unattached sex life is also a kind of 'yajna' because the restricted householder sacrifices his general tendency toward sense gratification for a higher, transcendental life"(A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami, Bhagavad Gita As It Is, Ch. 4:26. purport page 254.).

If one really wants to be and feel free, and able to chose to be safe in one's actions one has to be properly informed, and not informed by lusty motivated exploiters of women.
 Exploitation of woman folk has been the source of much controversy recently, even giving birth to such groups as women's liberation, woman's refuge, and other necessary support groups for woman. I suggest that we also ask a question why? "In the Dharma Shastras one does come across some passages the deprecate woman - suggesting that they are the gateway to hell and that they lead men astray through their seductive powers - these passages have more to do with men's attitude to women rather than inherent qualities of the women themselves. There are also many passages which praise women: ' Women must always be honoured and adorned by their fathers, brothers, husbands and brother-in-law, who desire their own welfare'(Manu Smriti 3:55). 'Where women are honoured, there the gods are pleased; but where they are dishonoured, no sacred rite yields its rewards'(Manu Smriti 3:56.) 'The family in which the women lament quickly meets with destruction; the family in which the womenfolk rejoice will always prosper'(Manu Smriti 3:57.)  'A wife who is tainted by sin, whether she be quarrelsome, or having left home, or having been raped, or fallen into the hands of robbers; must never be abandoned; to forsake her is not prescribes by the sacred law. Let the husband wait for the time of her period and then by her temporary uncleanliness she becomes pure'(Vasista Samhita 28:2-3.)"(Veda Vani, Oct 1994. Vol 1, No. 2, The Quarterly Magazine of the Australian Council of Hindu Clergy, page 2.)

6/. Different Kinds of Marriage:
The Vedic system of choosing or gaining a wife, or husband is very nice actually, and is very safe. It's not that there won't be problems, this material world means problems, but with the underlying asset of the culture and positive assistance of a stable society that lives what it preaches, security is found.
 Then of course finding the best days to perform the marriage that will not only not cause negative effects such as Kuja dosha, and so many other doshas, to have effect. But will enhance the flavour of the couple in their relationship. There are many things to be both known and looked into regarding this matter not that simply two people are brought together, here's a boy and here's a girl. Hey presto, and there's a marriage.
 "One consequence that has been observed in what has come to be known as 'democratic marriage' is that people are less likely to stay with a marriage if it does not meet their needs (Lloyd, 1978.). The religions, temples, mosques, synagogues, churches and even legal systems have less power to keep unhappily married couples together too, as they simply want to do their own thing; .........in fact many are not even thinking of marriage opting for 'defacto marriage' of mutual agreement rather than taking a risk at the unknown. The law on the other hand now ensures a 'fair arrangement' for dividing property and now recognises 'Irretrievable breakdown of marriage' as the only grounds for divorce" (Human development, Massey University Study Guide, 1995. [85.102], Pg 235.) So what is happening ?

The world is going to the dogs, starting from the family institution, which great souls like Chanakya Pandit state should be the blocks on which the foundation of sane society should be based.

 A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another.
 If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden.
 But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the  garden.(Lord Buddha, B.C. 568-488).

But for the satisfaction of the itch of sensual desire, and an uncontrolled mind, everything else is forgotten. This kind of negligence is what destroys societies, and culture and breeds a lack of faith in its executioners. Especially when so many of the marriages break up and the children are neglected, or abused or all three.

Just by analysing the reasons for bringing persons together for marriage one can learn something of the individuals involved, in the same way as astrologers analyse the nature of a day to see what it's fruits are.  As a point of interest in this regard there are also eight different kinds of marriage, vivaha mentioned in the shastra to be taken into account. Of which the first three, Brahma and its variant form Prajapatya, are arranged through astrology by the King, 'Brahmins', or elders and are meant for bringing forth good progeny in the world. "A son born of that girl sanctifies twenty one generations on either side. The groom is invited and a girl bedecked according to capacity is given in marriage"(Garuda Purana 1:95:7.) 'Deva' ('Daiva') 'vivaha', is of two types according to different sources; "...a 'Rtvik' in a sacrifice is chosen as the bridegroom"(Garuda Purana 1:95:8.) Other sources say that Daiva means to be arranged through astrology by parents, and as with Arsha, a qualified girl is voluntarily given to a qualified 'Brahmin' as a gift at a good time and place for further development of religious duties, 'dharma'. Qualification means she is fully aware and willing to enter into household life. But 'Arsha' according to Garuda Purana, is if two cows are taken along with the bride and given it is known as 'Arsha' either way it is said that if such a wedding is done and a son is born then fourteen generations are sanctified(Garuda Purana 1:95:8.).
 The fourth is the 'Swayamvara vivaha' which was previously performed by the great saintly Kingly families of yore according to religious principals. The king would advertise that he has a very qualified and beautiful daughter, and princes from all over would come and enter into competition for her hand, but in this age it is forbidden.
 Another is called 'Gandharva' or sometimes 'Sakaama', literally means with desire or 'love'. It is said that a son born of 'Sakaam vivaha' sanctifies six generations including himself (Garuda Purana 1:95:9.) Gandharva vivaha is very popular today, what it entails is that merely by the boy and girls' mutual arrangement it happens, (Garuda Purana 1:95:10.) and this is what has become generally accepted by mundane society at large today. Shastra says that the marriage in which the advice "....both of you carry on your sacred duties together," is given (Garuda Purana 1:95:9.) is called 'Sakaam'. As with 'Gandharva vivaha' sometimes it lasts sometimes it doesn't. Then we have the court cases and alimony etc., very nice revenue made by the legal profession who uphold it so strongly.
 The other marriages are the Kshatriya vivaha where the girl is abducted and there is a display of valour and a fight to gain the bride, as we see from the incident with Lord Krishna stealing Rukmini Devi, this is also prohibited. Then we have 'Asura' or 'Pishacha vivaha', wherein the girl is seduced in secret whilst asleep or given some intoxicating sedatives, seduced and thus considered wed. Why wed simply because in Vedic culture no one would touch her after that. 'Rakshasa vivaha' is where the girl is taken by fraud or deceit and then declared the wife of..........., as the 'asura' Ravana tried to do with Lanka Sita! Needless to say these last three are not recommended, more than that according to 'shastra' they are prohibited in the Kali Yuga. (These eight are found elaborately described in the Asvalayana Grhyasutra, Manu Samhita 3rd chapter, Maitrayaniya Samhita 1:10:11., Mahabharata Adi parva 67:8-9., Apastambha Grhyasutra 11:5:11:17-20. also 11:5:12:1-2., Kathaka Grhyasutra  16:1 and 25:1, Varaha Grhyasutra 20:11-18, and even in Kama sutra of Vatsyayana 3:5:27, but just for quick reference they are also briefly outlined in the purports of Srila A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada's Srimad Bhagavatam 3:22:15 & 16.)

7/. Asaucam (impurity):
In Garuda Purana (1:95:11-33.) various and yet specific guidelines are also given in regards to pubity, abduction, abortion, adultery, drunkards, divorce, alimony, widowhood, remarriage, etc.

If abortion or 'still birth' takes place, the freedom from impurity is in as many nights as months of the pregnancy - three months pregnancy, three nights asaucam (Garuda Purana 1:50:83-86.) death of a child before 'upanayana' (sacred thread), 'cuda karan' (first hair cutting) etc., is also discussed. Those who commit abortion, adultery or rape and other activities, are adequately "rewarded" according to Garuda Purana (1:105:1-73.)

There is much too much to comment on here, in the finding of a good mate. However, for reference some practical quotations may well be used according to application of time and individual circumstances. There are many other references to be viewed as well, not mentioned here in this paper ..........! My reason is simple, again they are not so relevant here.

We are trying to present what we feel is, according to shastra, a suitable method for selective breeding, so that at least our society, Iskcon, can steer away from the problematic developments of  single (solo) parents, and the sufferings of the 'varnasankara', unwanted and neglected progeny, produced by irresponsible timing of 'nishekam', conception or matchmaking. This entire subject matter is very scientific, a soft science, and yet unlike modern 'hard science', it is very down to earth, understandable, and easily practiced for those inclined.

As we have drifted, not without direction, but toward the procreative side of marriage, there is a system of methodology in place here too.

8/. Consummation:
"In the Grhyasutras it has been laid down that marriage should not be consummated for a certain period. Similarly among some tribes in India and outside, the pair are not allowed to be united sexually for a certain period after the completion of marriage rites. In the north-east of Baster among the Murias the marriage is consummated only on the fourth night(Verrier Elwin, The Muria and their Ghotul, page 130.). Among the Kurubas (E Thurston, op, cit, IV., page 147.) of south India the consummation takes place after three months of marriage. The Tamil Brahmanas do not consummate their marriage before the fourth night(ibid, I, page 289-290.) Among the Amma Coorgs the consummation takes place on the third day(L.A.K.Iyer, The Coorg Tribes and Castes, page 65.). The Marathas consummate their marriage after the first menstruation of the bride after marriage(R.E. Enthoven, op, cit, III, page 39.) According to Mr Verrier Elwin(V.Elwin, Bondo Highlander, page 90-100.) the Bondos of Middle India consider the marriage as valid only after the consummation or formal bedding of the pair. The Lodhas of Bengal consummate their marriage after seven days of marriage(P.K.Bhowmick, The Lodhas of West Bengal. page 100.). Among the Akas (Raghuvir Sinha, The Akas, page 75.) of the Himalayan areas the consummation does not take place before one year as the wife will be taken to her new home only after one year"(Dr. Chanchala Kumar Chattajee, Rites and Rituals of Hindu Marriage, page 321-322.). In the 'vivaha' system that is followed by the International Society for Krishna consciousness the same system prevails: 'tri ratra maksharalavana ashinau syaata amadhah shayiyatam nirmithunau syatam'. Both the bride and the groom should refrain from salty food, and avoiding copulation (sex), sleep on the floor for three days and nights from the wedding day before the woman become officially wife ('patni').

"Coitus (sexual intercourse) is forbidden because the maiden does not become a wife ('bharyaa') in the true sense of the term before the Caturthi Karma is performed, by allowing four days to pass."(Pt. Bhaiyaram Sharma & trans. Dr R.C.Prasad. 1993. The Vivaha. page 154.) This is echoed in Varaha Grhasutra 18:16., and Kaama Sutra 3:2:1.
 "Among the primitive peoples of Borneo (Iver H. N. Evans, Among the Primitive Peoples of Borneo, page 226.), specially Bajaus, the main ritual of marriage consists of ceremonially putting the couple to bed and sitting together of the couple before the assembly. In ancient Babylon the girl was kept in a dark room for three days and after the fourth day the bridegroom approached her(George Ryley Scott, op, cit, page 162.). Among the Hottentots, very strangely sometimes the marriage follows consummation(ibid, page 199.). Among the Puruvian Indians bride and bridegroom fasted for two days before marriage, eating no salt, pepper and no flesh and drinking none of the native wine(Dr Westermarck, History of Human Marriage, II, page 545.). Among the ancient inhabitants of Mexico, marriage was not consummated until the fourth night. Similarly in North America, a Mazatek bridegroom had to avoid sexual intercourse for fifteen days after marriage(Dr. Westermarck, History of human Marriage, page 548.). Sexual intercourse of the couple is prohibited for the first four nights among the Karayas of Brazil(Dr. Westermarck, History of Human Marriage, page 549.) In Egypt consummation of marriage is not permitted during the first week(E.W Lane, An Account of the Manners and Customs of the Modern Egyptians, page 508.). A period of seven days must elapse be fore the marriage is consummated among the Khyoungtha, one of the hill tribes of Chittagong(T.H. Lewin, Wild Races of South Eastern India, page 130.). According to Naga traditions, they do not have sexual connections during the initial nights of married life(T.C. Hodson, The Naga Tribes of Manipur, page 87)"(Dr. Chanchala Kumar Chattajee, Rites and Rituals of Hindu Marriage, page 322-323.).
 Anthropologists who have studied marriage have come to the conclusion that the purpose of the voluntary abstinences including that of sexual intercourse is for the purpose of neutralisation of the danger of from evil spirits that may be intent on doing harm to the vulnerable couple at this time(Crawley, The Mystic Rose, II, page 58-65.). This idea is not limited to that of anthropologist theories. In the Old Testament of the Holy Bible, commentators upon it have made conclusions, "....explaining that the custom of practicing sexual continence after marriage as due to a desire of the bridegroom to leave the field clear for the demons who might wish to enjoy the first fruits of the new wife(Sir James George Frazer, Folk-lore in the Old Testament, Vol I, page 520.). Interesting, but Dr. Westermarck has shown that this theory lacks the support of evidence. Thus he observes, "I am of the opinion that anthropologists are often apt to look for to much reasoning at the bottom of primitive customs. Many of which are based on vague feelings rather than on definite ideas"(Dr. Westermarck, History of Human Marriage, II, page 563.).
 It is an interesting subject, and one which has had many an anthropologist trying with strained intellect to reason out the 'problems'. Vedic Shastra calls these period of potential crisis or vantage points sankrant. Such periods, which join months, yugas, persons, or periods of one's life are crucial times which should be spent in absorption in the 'Divine', in pure thought. Consequently in the Vedic marriage there's a three day/night abstention period from sexual contact immediately after a marriage, wherein the couple perform austerity, i.e. sleeping on the floor, and brahmacharya, instead of "Honey-mooning". These points we have inferred to in other places in this paper, and are bridged by purificatory samskara. The idea being that similar to what was guessed by Sir James George Frazer, when one's conditional state, this body and others that one comes in contact with are in a state of flux or change, then one should take refuge of one's constitutional position, eternal spirit soul aligned with the 'Supreme' until that time has gone by. This is the traditional method for undergoing any inauspicious or potentially challenging, or contaminating situation from time immemorial.

9/. Vulnerability Of The People During Another Time Of Flux:
"This custom of practicing continence for some time after the marriage, may be traced back to the hoary antiquity of Indo-European period as is evident from the prevalence of it among so many Indo-European peoples viz, Romans, Albanians, Germans, Swiss peoples, Esthonians and various other peoples of Europe"(Dr. Westermarck, History of Human Marriage, II., page 557-559.)
 However, this is not the belief of many. In fact there is an awakening, or revival to what really went on in history over the course of the past two or three hundred years.
 "Every student of Indian history is familiar with the theory of the Aryan invasion of India. Briefly this theory proselytes that the original inhabitants of Northern India were Dravidian people. They established the great Indus valley civilisation the ruins of which can be seen in Harappa and Mohenjo Daro (now in Pakistan). These peaceful civilised urban Dravidians were conquered and dispossessed by a race of fire worshipping nomads known as Aryans. These Indo-Aryan people spoke sanskrit and held the Vedas as their sacred Scriptures. It is presumed that these nomads originated somewhere in the Northern hemisphere either central Asia (Russia) or Scandinavia or somewhere thereabouts; one group broke off and settled in Persia, another established the Hittite settlements of the Middle East and the other group invaded India. The displaced Dravidians migrated South to escape the marauding hordes from central Asia and finally settled in the areas which now comprise Tamilnadu, Karnataka, Kerala, and Andhra Pradesh."(Veda Vani, Oct 1995. The Quarterly Newsletter of the Australian Council of Hindu Clergy, page 3.).
 "This theory was first pioneered by Max Muller and his associates in order to explain to themselves and their patrons the advanced and sophisticated civilisation they found in India. This theory was and is taken for granted as self evident and is taught in many schools and universities, but it does not stand for one second before even a brief and superficial examination. Many scholars nowadays in both India and the West have vigorously refuted it as the product of Imperialism and cultural bias."(Veda Vani, Oct 1995. The Quarterly Newsletter of the Australian Council of Hindu Clergy, page 3.).
 "The literature and historical records of  both the Aryans and the Dravidians are completely silent about the alleged 'invasion' and 'dispossession'. Not one single Tamil or Sanskrit scholar pre-colonisation by Europeans conceived of this idea. In fact even post colonisation the only native intellectuals who adopted this erroneous idea were those who could profit by it. The western educated intelligentsia thought that by endorsing a 'European' origin for the Indian civilisation it would improve their status in the eyes of their colonial masters and thus make integrating themselves easier. The others who have recently capitalised on this theory are political groups namely the Dravida Kazhagam (D.K.) and Dravida Munetra Kazhagam (D.M.K.).  By driving a wedge between Northern / Aryan / Sanskrit/ Vaishnava camp and the Southern / Dravidian / Tamil / Saivaite camp they hope to achieve legitimisation for their own personal aspirations"(Veda Vani, Oct 1995. The Quarterly Newsletter of the Australian Council of Hindu Clergy, page 4.). (More can be found in "Vedic World Heritage", 1983. P.N. Oak.; "Readings in Vedic Literature", "The Indologists" pages 167-177.; "A Review of Beef in Ancient India" Chapter 3., Western Indologists, A Study Of Their Motives, pages 17-38.; and in my forth coming book "Have Mercy On The Animals", chapter entitled, "The Great Deception By The Ruling Class", J. Marshall.)

10/. Trust and Faith In Bona Fide Authorities - The Means To Bridge Vulnerability:
In everything we do, we need to take shelter of those who know what is what. It requires placing oneself with trust at the will of another. To do that requires a certain amount of faith, trust, and love. The same is to be found in harmonius marriages, in marriage as a successful institution, and even in the procreative act.
 Sexual intercourse, in which we bring into the world a child, who is in such a vulnerable condition, has to in itself create such an environment that unnecessary difficulties can be easily overcome. As to the specific kind of danger to the persons by demons, ghosts, malefic planets and other forms of evil influences to which they may be at this time exposed are too numerous, to pin down. Srimad Bhagavatam, Muhurtha Shastra, Kalaprakashika give numerable insights into possibilities, so abstinence again as a precaution is better than latter trying to reform a problematic character. Rather, who we want as our child is defined as Putra.

11/. Putra;  (Putra, Pum, Put):
One should declare one's intention to the Lord (go before the Saligram, or the Deity) to bring into the world a pure Krishna conscious soul, "A Ray Of Vishnu" to benefit the whole of mankind, and to go back to Godhead at the end of his life and to enable others also to. This is putra.

Pum alias Put is a hell. Those who die without children go to this hell, and he who saves one from this hell is called putra. (Shloka 38 chapter 74, Adi Parva of Mahabharata.)

 Pumnamno narakadyastu trayate pitaram sutah
       Tasmat putra iti proktah svayameva swayambhuva
    (Shloka 138 chapter 9. Manusmriti.)

"Because a son of his own, by birth, saves a father from the hell called 'Put' he is called Putra."

According to shastra there are twelve different kinds of Putras, sons, or qualified progeny.

Aurasputra. A son born to a wife of his own caste begot by the husband himself is called aurasputra.

Ksetrajaputra. If one dies without children or is impotent or possessed of a disease, his wife is lawfully allowed to lie with the brother of the husband to get a child. The son born of such a union is called ksetrajaputra.

Dattaputra. When one is worrying miserably for getting a son and if at that time a husband and wife willingly hand over a son born to them by mutual consent with the following words :"This son becomes your own from now on," with a religious sprinkling of water, such a son is called dattaputra.

Krtrimaputra. A son adopted from one's own caste for the purpose of doing the obsequial ceremonies for the manes is called kstrimaputra.

Guudhotputra. A son born to one's wife by another man is called guudhotputra.

Apaviddhaputra. Where a son is rejected by either a father or mother or by both and that son is taken care of and brought up by another man, that son becomes an apaviddhaputra.

Kaninaputra. If a son is born to a virgin before marriage while living with her father, that son is called a kaninaputra.

Sahodhaputra. When a girl is married while pregnant the son born to her after marriage is called a sahodhaputra.

Krtakaputra. A son purchased and bought up by a sonless man is called krtakaputra.

Paunarbhavaputra. A son born to a woman after becoming a widow or after being divorced by her husband by her willingly going with another man is called a paunarbhavaputra.

Swayamdattaputra. When a son after becoming an orphan or after being abandoned by his parents goes willingly to another man and remains with him as his son is called Swayamdattaputra.

Shaudraputra. A son born to a brahmin of a shudra wife is called a shaudra (paarashava) putra.(Vettam Mani, Puranic Encyclopaedia, 1975, page 613.)

 The time should be recorded - morning time is according to some best, though some say evening is best. The following statement clarifies according to some why. In the morning time, the influences of the modes of nature are more in the modes of goodness, leaning toward the active mode of passion. Because of this some persons conceive their children at this time to invoke 'jiva' souls of a 'sattwa guna'. Ayurveda suggests that the morning time is ruled by 'vat' (air), and later by a mixture of 'vat', and 'pita' (fire). While at the same time it is recognised that the evening time is the time of 'kapha' which is very good for sex. The nature of 'kapha' also mentioned in Ayurveda:

 "The natural time for intimacy is during 'kapha' time in the evening, as the sexual act increases 'vata' due to the amount of energy expended throughout the mind and body.
 Satisfying sexual union between two people brings increased health, vitality 'ojas', and thus immunity. It has to be developed over time, with each partner being concerned most with their partners satisfaction on physical, mental, emotional, and deep inner spiritual levels. Thu