My Academic Pledge.
This work presented in this essay is substantially my own in that I did the required reading, research and planning. And I wrote the whole essay. I have not used other peoples work except where acknowledged, and humbly I am grateful for their research, theories, and publications.
This essay was originally written as part of a social
anthropological assignment when studying at Massey University, New Zealand.
No part or the whole may be published without due consent of the Author
- Jaya Tirtha Charan dasan (c) 1995-2002 All Rights Reserved.
We lived at my paternal grandmother and grandfather's
house at 147, Southwark Park Road, Bermondsey S.E.16., only one of three
houses still remaining in a former bustling street amid London's pre-war
My grandfather was in India for some fourteen years during the 'British Raj', but passed away about a year after my birth. I still to this day haven't been able to work out if I can remember him, or if I have recollections of him from what my parents had told me, the photo's that I had seen, or how my grandmother had edified him.
My grandmother was an unusual lady, .....surrounded by the relics of the Raj that her husband, and her brother Alf' had brought back with them from their years in India. There was always a mystical flavour in the family that really seamed to keep everything going. My grandmother having an array of strange friends, very eccentric, ......quite differently dressed than the people one would see out shopping. I distinctly remember that.
Some of my earliest memories are of those days, I must
have been three or four, playing underneath heavy and tasselled silk table
cloths in her downstairs part of the two story house, with many middle
aged and elderly ladies seated around the heavy wooden table with its carved
legs. I still remember their thick silk stockinged ankles, and heavy, leather
She had a crystal ball in the middle of the table, .....and I can still remember the sound of seeming endless cups of tea being made and consumed, and readings done of the "grouts", tea-leaf residue. They were kindly towards me, and I was tolerated and pampered by them everytime they came. Often I would go out with them to visit another clairvoyant if my mother accompanied my grandmother. It was an interesting way to grow up, I felt very very stable and secure in that environment.
The home environment was very important in our household, almost as much as was represented to the outside world.
The conditioning that I underwent had an Indo-Aryan-Victorian-'Joint
Family' flavour which today seems unique to those of a bygone generation.
Marriage was sacred, and defacto, separation and or divorce were almost unheard of, and where apparent were looked down upon as, ".....people who had either little control over their genitals, or foresight in their lives"(Aunt Maude's favourite little diddy). Except in rare cases it would appear true, or at least I have to agree.
Keeping to the theme of this assignment without turning this into a family autobiography, .....My mother intimated to me shortly after my fathers passing away, "We grew to love each other deeply, .....and shared many wonderful times together. I know he didn't love me when we were first married, he was on the rebound. He really wanted Rachel, my best friend .....but she married his best mate. My sister Kit (Margaret) wanted him 'though...... but she didn't get him.........!" After a couple of years of sharing each others company their perspectives of each other changed dramatically. Their love developed and even deepened.
Growing up as an only child to this middle class family
was a unique experience from my recollection. I was dotted on by various
aunts, ...and being taken to the soccer games by uncles and my father.
I never lacked anything as I remember. Neither do I have any recollection
of any arguments of fights between my mother and father. In fact the family
situation was very secure and warm. I do remember that occasionally they
would retreat to their room to discuss things. This I presume was when
they worked out their rough edges, disagreements or whatever, ........
in the relationship, and in retrospect I really appreciate their concern
that I didn't have to experience fighting, or insecurity in my life.
Each year the family joined another family from Swindon in the West Country of England, Cornwall to stay at Jack and Sally's who had fled London's blitz and bought an old house at 3, Porthia Harbour View, in St Ives Bay, Hayle, Cornwall. It was fabulous, and so were those holidays.
It was on one of these holidays when I was about 12 or 13 that I lost my virginity to the daughter of the family from Swindon. Her name was Judy Heinz she was 16, ......her father's name was Eric, more than that has been eluded by time. It happened in the sand dunes at the back of Jack and Sally's place. That year when it was time we returned to London and Judy to Swindon I created a big scene as they got off the train at Swindon crying that I didn't want her to go. The knot had been tied in the heart, by our sexual adventure......! None of the parents could understand, but her tearful eyes looking into mine, as she stood there on that platform amid the farewells, and, ".... see you next years" tore my heart apart.
As it turned out, ......that was the last time they went on holiday to Cornwall, and my romance was terminated.
Normative maturation of adolescence came with the usual
pushing of the developing sense organs and discoveries and sexual experimenting
adventures of materialistic youth(Brooks-Gunn, 1988; Elkind, 1984). The
profiling concern, and preoccupation with mate attracting impulses carried
by egocentric self-imaging, and new found testerone levels aided the hunt.
Looking back it was a little embarrassing how blatantly lusty some of us were at that time. "....in a society in which personality is often judged by appearance"(Dion, Bersceid, & Walster, 1972. Papalia & Olds page 315.), "...self image can have long lasting effects on young people's feelings about themselves. Adults who thought they were attractive during their teenage years have higher self-esteem and are happier than those who did not. Not until the mid forties do the differences in self-esteem and happiness disappear" (Berscheid, Walster, & Bohrnstedt, 1973. Papilia & Olds page 315.).
I think this is what has brought out more concern in my depicting a method by which all of this external bodily assessment, and egocentric displays of false-ego, are not as important as being sustainably satisfied in any marital relationship.
Everyone wants that special person in their life, someone
that you can rely on, trust and know that they care for you, and you them.
To achieve this there has to be something more than just a physical or
sexual urge. There has to be a certain amount of compatibility. If in those
compatibility stakes or scoring board are at least neutral, or at best
the odds are in favour of a successful relationship obviously one stands
a better chance of success.
I have found instances the world over, that in the past, as well as at present, that there is a need for finding compatible matches. Symptoms of this today are the numerous computer dating agencies; Relationship Hotlines'; marriage counselling; Relationship Astrological Hotline (TVNZ January 1996); Tarotline; Friends; Matchmakers; (all as seen advertised on N.Z. TV2. 1995-96.), Heart to Heart Dateline, One to One Lovelink, Friends(All three presently featured in magazines and T.V. and Radio stations all over N.Z.); in fact there are hundreds of them in 'contact' magazines, newspapers, radio and T.V. stations all over the world.
I personally had so many "relationships" in my youth. I'm not saying that's good or to be aspired for, it's just a fact. Some having great expectations and eventual even bigger let downs - and we passed our separate ways. In discussion with friends and associates both male and female alike, many of them had similar fleeting relationships, and carried many scars of broken relationships. We discussed some of the things that we would have like to have been there in, and that we could try to implement in present and future ones.
Over the course of the next few years partially out of
my religious convictions, and partially out of feelings of frustration
I became a celibate monk and travelled to India. That travel took me further
than I thought or expected it to; into deeper and somewhat a different
I observed the culture of India and their local customs. Many things left lasting impressions on me such as the chastity of the womenfolk; the power of their captivating shyness and purity which kept the check of their men-folk, far more than the brazen topless-bottomless society which I had grown up in.
Although I was a monk (brahmacari), it was not a life long vow of celibacy that I had taken. Plus from my training I understood that as in the Vedic culture that I now observed, by being a spiritually oriented householder, non-exploitive and caring the same vow of celibacy could be maintained by engaging in intimate sexual union with one's spouse for the procreation of good progeny(Srimad Bhagavatam 11:18:43.). Observing pure hearted traditionalists, I became quite inspired by their devotion to both God and their dependants.
I began to ask questions. I wanted to know how it was
practically functional, that relationships seemed to last in India, in
most cases, and what was the intrinsic reason for that.
I was aware of many of the arguments regarding Vedic culture and why there was no divorce etc. But these were not the conclusive questions that I needed answering. What I wanted, now needed was something that I could be a part of, something that could be appreciated by practical participation. The ethnological approach, distanced from one's ivory tower obviously was not to bring solace to me. Although having multifaceted branches under the banner of the Holistic approach, the view is that of their 'own' being still ethnological, and ethnographic(Peacock 1986. Method, pg 60.), again useful if you wanted to cash in on another's research. But not in totality what I had to find. My research had to be reflexive, unmotivated, non judgemental and open to what was found (whether I liked, or agreed with it or not). My approach was not entirely scientific because I knew it was going to affect my life, so it couldn't be an entirely passive or impersonal, sterile process - I was in it, living it - in the process of going native.
I knew too, that by so doing I would have to accept Nomothetic or law-giving principles most of which I had to gather from learned informants. In this way gathering a cross-cultural perspective comparison and analysis of data from larger number of diverse, and multifaceted cultures so that from my perspective I could understand and assimilate what truths I would find, without a hidden agenda. The purpose of which was not entirely academic. For the results were out of definite self interest, to direct me first up, and maybe assist others in the future what to do. Some say that this law giving and defining behavioural patterns like this, is the real mission of anthropology(Manners & Kaplan 1968: 4.).
What I wanted was practical solutions to what I saw as a fundamental problem. One that was causing distress and anxiety to many persons who simply wanted the right person to share their lives with.
For the first time I started hearing strange terms, "...examining
the qualifications of the perspective couple", "selecting an auspicious
day for the wedding", etc., etc. The culture of India took my mind, intelligence
and emotions by storm.
I considered the possibility, honestly and objectively, the feasibility of my adapting some if not all of this culture in my own life. "Oh! But you're a monk," I heard cry from deep inside this essay. Was it you this time or memories of the research.
It's true at that time I was a strict and devout one too! But like I said, I wanted honesty to remain in my life. To me honesty stands for more than just maintaining an external show of doing something, it means living it in entirety. I was honest enough with my self to realise that I was not really at that time material for life long ascetism.
Not wanting to relive my former 'mud-shark' profile I
opened my consciousness to the prospect that if such a rare soul who could
tolerate me would come along, ..... then so be it. Otherwise if I can just
develop good and meaningful relationships of a non-challenging/non-sexual
basis with friends and associates, .....then great! There was no sense
of desperation, or extreme passion.
My understanding of Vedic culture would hold me in good stead, and not allow me to settle for some kind of 'hit or miss relationship', that I had seen so many enter into and out of.
Over the course of the next few months after ardent prayer and consideration, on both our parts, and by force of providence, natural congenial compatibility and no planning on our part, I was brought together with the person who was later to become my wife.
She at that time was travelling around Europe. Two Australian
girls looking to see the seat of western imperialistic culture. Working
as casual labourers and temps' to get them from one place to another. Their
"Big O.E." (Overseas Experience) as it is colloquially referred to throughout
At this time I was also working, packing in a warehouse - 'unsociable hours', long hours - but big money, to get funds together quick to return to India in search of more of myself.
I used to visit 'the Agency' that I worked through on
a Friday lunch time, pick up my pay, and then head off to my work of packing.
On this particular Friday two girls turned up at the agency about an hour
before I did. Obviously the girls who worked there did a good job in edifying
me before saying that I would be able to take the 'Aussie girls' to the
My wife recalls, "....the girls at the agency told me that there was this big guy, he's a real character, .....one of those Hare Krishna's too .......and immediately I was attracted. From that moment on even though I'd never seen you I knew we would spend the rest of our lives together."
Now, this by anyone's expectation was a rare situation, you can imagine. One which I will be honest, didn't at first appeal to me. And I tried like any thing to change the course of the future, but to no avail. She had me, and obviously it was meant to be. Later we had our marriage compatibility checked to find that we are bordering on 80% positively compatible - which means we still have a bit to work on - but it's pretty good.
But, rather than trying to do things the way we did it, best is to check first. By the grace of the Lord ours was a good match, but things could have been more than difficult or challenging if things had of been otherwise - and who knows without checking?
In the next part of this essay I will be endeavouring to make as clear as possible the whys and wherefore's of a Vedic cultural perspective of marriage and possible/probable reasons for either compatibility or incompatibility according to rhyme, reason and higher subtle bodies that determine our lot.
As ethnography is both scientific and literary, I have
tried to take the approach by presenting a method for resolve that maybe
others can read, making use of the researched information. By so doing
save themselves a lot of unnecessary suffering, .......and at the same
time, learn some in depth intimacies of the topical matrimonial subject
* * *
Living in a rural situation, and presently without a vehicle for transportation, due to minimal student support, and funding, I have been forced by circumstances beyond my control to cover and research by means of those in my DYAD; micro, in my everyday environment; meso, those interlocking with my functionary service to community etc.; exo, the greater community, various books in my rather extensive library; and macrosystem, various world views, educational values, etc. (Urie Bronfenbrenner, 1979. Papilia & Olds, 1992. page 9.), to compile information, and complete this assignment (Oct 1995.).
4/. The Malady Without
Bhuta Graha (Repression of the impulses results in............):
5/. Sex as worshipful 'God'
6/. Different Kinds of Marriage:
7/. Asaucam (impurity):
9/. Vulnerability Of The People During Another Time Of Flux:
10/. Trust and Faith In Bona Fide Authorities - The Means To Bridge Vulnerability:
11/. Putra; (Putra, Pum, Put.):
12/. Real Genetic Engineering:
13/. Women and Property:
14/. The Time for Sex:
For your guidance.
15/. Strength And The
16/. Sacred Marriage And The Meaning Of Compatibility:
17/. Having The Bond:
18/. Defining Compatibility:
Dhinam (Dinam) Kuta.
Gana Kuta (Deva, Manusha, Rakshasa Ganam).
Stree Deergha (Dirgha).
Effects of Sex.
Rasyadhipathi or Graha Maitram.
Vedha or Dosha.
Common Janma Rasi.
Common Janma Nakshatra.
Agreement In Respect Of Dhinam, Ganam, Etc.
Bhuta (Element) Agreement.
19/. Astrological Indications;
For Potential Success Or Possible Failure, Of Marriage:
Success Of The Alliance.
Stoppage Of The Marriage.
Early Death Of Couple.
Omens Regarding Marriage (Vivaha Sakuna).
Prospects Of Married Life.
A Beautiful Bride.
The Couple's Prosperity.
20/. Time Of Marriage:
Lunar Mansions Prescribed For Marriage:
Star Election For Marriage.
Longitude Of Chandra-Velaa.
Of Characteristics Of Candidates:
Type Of Girl.
The Bride's Character.
Deformity Of Wife.
Wife's Death Through Fire & Snake Bite.
Her Disastrous Death.
Wife's Caste / Community / Social Status And Physical Features.
The Bride's Family.
Effects Of Planets In The Seventh House On Him.
22/. Indications Of Possible
Remarriage (Two Marriages) & Three Marriages:
23/. Rnnubandha - Previous Relationships In Former Lives:
25/. Prayer Of Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura 1896:
Ethnography, is according to definitive terms, "The branch of anthropology that considers man geographically and descriptively, treating of the subdivision of races and peoples, the causes of migration, etc."(Funk and Wagnalls Dictionary, 1946. page 455.)
I would have to admit that this 'macro ethnography' as I have called it is a combination of research, reading and observer participation covering the greater, macro of the subject of my choice. Which from the perspective of Hindu, Vedic or Krishna Consciousness needs addressing, as well as that of those involved in an ordinary relationship.
Primarily the perspective is that of my preference, training and inclination. Nether the less this has not excluded referencing and research over the general subject, using whatever found to support a point that I have felt necessary to make.
The overall purpose of this assignment is to give a hope
(even when it may seem, hope against hope), honest attempt to shed some
light into a very dark, confining "well like" subject - due to its lack
of depiction by householders.
Synastry literally means, 'a bringing together of' (syn) and 'the stars' (aster), it is a little complex process, but for the minute piece of information taken reveals the resultant process to be enlightening, and revealing. Astrological sysnastry for marriage is truly a great material science, which through 'shastric' reference proves itself unarguably informative towards the analysis of a couples possible future together. Like the Sun and Moon, and other luminaries which are involved the process can be deeply illuminating, and enlightening. Where there is Sun-like illumination on any subject, the shadow of ignor-ance cannot be. I have spelt ignor-ance in this way for in itself it is illuminating. Ignoro is the Latin for to ignor, or to be ignorant of certain facts, as in an ignoramus. The prefix 'In', means not, and 'gnarus' means knowing. (originating in the sanskrit word jna / gna meaning knowledge, to know) In this world today of many great discoveries still there is a whole spectrum that people do not know. Although I would like to add, it is there if one takes the time and care to research.
What I have seen happening in my years as a priest is
a swaying in the rise and decline in people accepting the marriage rites.
The number of marriages registered in New Zealand reached a 30 year low
last year, statistics N.Z., said falling from 22,056 in 1993 to 21,858
in 1994. However, remarriage more than doubled in the last 25 years (Rural
News, May 22nd 1995). For various reasons this has come about, some of
which we will discuss here. Much of which I think most of us would to some
degree or another, would agree with, when we present possibilities and
probabilities with reason, research and logic.
However, there are always different views, as well as reasons for doing anything. Our own we have to analyse ourselves. Being judgemental of others does not solve problems, but often creates further ones - ignorance and arrogance the two infamous outlaws who have continued to rob and plunder communities world wide, tend to create their own confines on individuals and societies who take shelter either consciously or unconsciously of them. Of individuals there is a tendency at the same time do not project the blame for your decision on another, usually the society. Our aim here is to give enough researched information that one can take responsibility for one's own life. For better is to be armed with knowledge. Without overstepping the mark, we can advise; make informed decisions for the betterment of not only your life, but assist in helping, and not ruining others. Marriage contrary to some's thinking, is not a one way street.
2/. Definition of Marriage:
Rather marriage is referred to as a specific 'samskara', a purificatory rite marking the coming together of two persons with a view to householder life; but the question arises then whether it is of the nature of that knowledge, or of an unseen merit of the ritual - being like a secondary knowledge arising out of that knowledge that at least it should be done, or of the nature of specific 'mimamsa samskara' called Bhavana "which brings happiness in this world" (Bhavanaa naama bhavitur bhavaanukulah bhavakavyaapaarvisheshah - vide Nyayaprakasha of Apadeva, Cal, ed., page 2.). After a thorough discussion on the point it has been concluded that marriage partaking of the form of specific knowledge is a samskara (Atra vadanti jnanavishessarupo vivaha eva samskarah - Vivahavicar.), and not other wise.
Vivaha, is the general word used for the marriage rite, and is also broken down to the roots of its meaning, Bishesh Vhabe Vahahan Karan, or '...to carry something carefully', or '...that weight which one takes great care in carrying', Vaha meaning to carry.
There are generally ten samskaras (Dasa viddhi samskaras)
that persons undergo during the course of life. However even if one comes
from a section of society (eg. shudra, or labourer class) that only has
the tradition and intent on following one then this one is that of vivaha
samskara. The natural intellectual sections of any society have their codes
of ethics and guidelines for elevation to higher stations in life. Only
among the uncultured is the tall poppy syndrome, not allowing those with
suitable potential to stand tall without fear of being cut down, is enforced.
Formerly in India before the corruption of the intellectual and priestly higher classes, there was such equal opportunity. A person being recognised by their activities and not by birthright(SrimadBhagavatam 7:11:35., yasya yal lakshanam proktam pumso varnabhivyanjakam yad anyatrapi drsyeta at tenaiva vinirdishet., Bhagavad Gita 18:40-44. .........karma bhava svabhavajam.)
The learned acarya (teacher) of 'vivaha shastra', Gadadhara makes the point that by undergoing the sacrament of sacred 'vivaha' it transforms a women into a wife, in the same way as an ordinary cow becomes a milch cow after suckling and nurturing her family, and so according to him a woman becomes fulfilled in love by acceptance of her husband after being knowingly entrusted to him by her caring father. Mitramishra in his Samskaraprakasha (part of Viramitrodaya) while discussing marriage, has explained Vivaha in its etymological sense as a "a particular type of procurement". This he also defines as to be two fold, acquiring of right and conferring of samskara"(tatha ca vivahapadaartho dvidalah sidhyati, satvotpaadanam samskaradhanam ceti - ibid). Which I have seen modern day sociologists, and some anthropologists thrown into a spin with. The understanding of the culture, the knowledge factor that we are dealing with in samskara has to be understood implicitly. Practically speaking one has to be a native or at least open to kicking out ethnocentrism on one's own part in order to appreciate samskara, not only in relation to Vedic culture, but also how it functions in other societies around the world today.
Marriage is viewed by sociologists as a social institution.
"Thus according to Dr. Friedrichs marriage is a 'union of persons of different
sex acknowledged and privilege by the order of law, either towards sex-intercourse
and with a view to leading a joint household or towards exclusive sex-intercourse'."(Dr.
Chanchala Kumar Chatterjee, Definition of Marriage, page 21.). "Matrimony
or marriage of two souls, one in female form and the other in male form,
is established mainly according to Vedic injunction, for the purpose of
'dharma prajasampatya rtham' for the realisation of dharma, progeny and
prosperity, (or prosperity or plentitude of these two) i.e. for the progress
and happiness of dharma and progeny."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of
Horary Astrology, page 117.)
According to Dr. Edward Westermarck, "It is an instinct distinct in that it induces the male to remain with the female and to take care of her after sexual relations have ceased. we may assume that the tendency to feel some attachment to a being which has been the cause of pleasure, in the present case sexual pleasure, is at the bottom of the instinct. Such a feeling may originally have caused the sexes to remain united and the male to protect the female though the sexual desire was gratified; and in procuring advantage to the species in the struggle for existence, conjugal attachment would naturally develop into a specific characteristic. In mankind these instincts give rise not only to habits but to rules of customs or intuition. Social beings endowed with such instincts, as also with a sufficiently developed intellect would feel moral resentment against a man who forsakes the woman with whom he has conjugal intercourse and offspring resulting from it....... Thus the institution of marriage and the family have the same root as the habits with which I have been dealing in this chapter; indeed these institutions and habits are practically identical, except that in the one case there is social sanction or regulation and in the other not"(Dr. E. Westermarck, The History of Human Marriage, II, page 364, f.n. 2.).
"Now as the word family isn't merely used to denote a certain institution, I think we may be allowed to apply the term 'marriage' also in a broader sense....... Thus probing deep into the root of the institution of marriage, the learned author proceeds on to define marriage as 'a more or less durable connection between male and female lasting beyond the mere act of propagation till after the birth of offspring(Dr. E Westermarck, History of Human Marriage., I. page 71.) Accordingly to him even in its biological aspect, "Marriage is rooted in the family rather than the family in marriage"(Dr. E Westermarck, History of Human Marriage., I. page 72.). On the same theme he observes that, "Indeed among many peoples true married life does not begin for persons who are formally married or betrothed, or a marriage does not become definite, until a child is born or their are signs of pregnancy"(Dr. E Westermarck, History of Human Marriage., I. page 74.) This example can be seen in the case of the Badagas of the Nilgiris tribes of India who perform the tying of the Mangal sutra or Tali, thus binding the 'vivaha samskara' in the fifth month of the first pregnancy. We have experienced similar in many cases in the courts today where due to some dissatisfaction or another a couple have their 'marriage' annulled if there was no solemnisation of the marriage by sex, consummation. Literally meaning, "....of a serious nature; requisite to the validity or legality of an act; gravity"(Funk & Wagnalls, 1946. page 1242.).
"In dynamic terms, it is marriage which generates affinal
relationship and not visa versa. In formal terms, marriage is the bridge
between the kinship side and the affinal side of the dichotomy that is
of necessity built into the total genealogically defined domain of social
relations which we find in every social system. In other words, there would
be no point to marriage ceremonies and legal instruments if the pre-marital
status of the spouse in relation to each other and their relevant kin were
already affinal in character"(Dr. Chanchala Kumar Chatterjee, Definition
of Marriage, Cambridge University paper in Social Anthropology, page 2.)
According to the Encyclopaedia Britannica, ".......marriage may be defined either as the act, ceremony or process by which the legal relationship of husband and wife is constituted; or as a physical, legal and moral union between men and women in complete community of life for the establishment of family"(B. Malinowski, Vol XIV. page 950). "The first task of those customs that constitute the moral codes of a group is to regulate the relations of the sexes, for these are a perennial source of discord, violence and possible degeneration. The basic form of this sexual regulation is marriage which may be defined as, '.....the association of mates for the care of offspring'."(Will Durant, The Story of Civilisation, page 36-37.).
"Marriage sometimes signifies the ceremony or event by means of which the common intention of a man and a woman to marry is publicly 'contracted', that is to say 'acknowledged and announced' and sometimes the status or 'estate' or state of affairs which prevails when, after undergoing or partaking in the public acknowledgment, or an announcement, the parties acquire and continue in the condition of having married each other."(Dr. J. D. M. Derrett, Introduction to Modern Hindu Law., page 136.) Thus it can be defined as a status fulfilling contract(Dr. J. D. M. Derrett, Introduction to Modern Hindu Law. page 136.) He continues, ".....a man and a woman marry each other when both, having formed the irrevocable intention of living together and sharing all the experiences of daily life, signify the solemn determination in a public acknowledgment and announcement in conformity with law. The married state is a legal condition or status, the rights of the married persons are determined by law and the termination of marriage is possible only in accordance with law"(Dr. J. D. M. Derrett, Introduction to Modern Hindu Law. page 136.) .
The sociological view is that, "......every normal marriage
has got the following essential elements: the living together, the gratification
of sexual desire, the relation between husband and wife, and the procreation
of progeny, though the relative importance attached to those elements varies
from place to place. Thus the Romans regarded marriage as a purely family
contract; whilst the Spartans representing the primitive Greek society
considered marriage not as a private relation but as a public institution(Robert
Briffault, The Mothers, I., page 525.). The Chinese considered marriage
as an alliance between two families(Robert Briffault, The Mothers, I page
526; Family and Kinship in Chinese Society, page 180-185.). In America,
the lower-class Negro families regard marriage as a 'fragile arrangement
held together primarily by affectional ties rather than instrumental concerns(Robert
Briffault, Selected Studies in Marriage and the Family, page 111.). To
the tribal population of Kerala in South India, 'marriage is the formal
ceremony which unites those who are forbidden to meet on the basis of social
taboos, to form the preliminary nucleus of a family(A.A.D. Luiz, Tribes
of Kerala, page 18.)"(Dr. Chanchala Kumar Chattajee, Rites and Rituals
of Hindu Marriage, page 23.)
Marriage in numerous cultures has many common symbols, and functions; the bride coming in covered from public view (Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh) the throwing of rice or akshata to bless (Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh); being married under a representation of the future home, a house/mandap (Jewish, Hindu, Sikh); circumambulation of the husband by the bride, seven times (Jewish, Hindu, Sikh); the giving of symbols that externally show that they are married - rings, mangal sutra, etc. (Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh); the feeding of sweets to the couple by each other (some Christian, Jewish, Hindu); the giving of gifts (Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh) - to me, these similarities resemble greater links between the cultures, and all of them having their origins in Vedic culture.
Unlike some who are so inclined, marriage is not something
to be entered into with members of the same sex, as afore mentioned. This
is seen as totally non-productive corruption of any conception that marriage
could ever stand for. What they may want to do may be called so many other
things, but it is NOT marriage as defined by sacred law.
In the same way marriage is meant for invoking upon the couple all success. As we have mentioned above, it is to be entered into in full knowledge, and agreement.
Marriage originally, is meant to assist one in one's sojourn through life, and not merely to fulfil animal instincts, of eating, sleeping, mating and defending. This has in some places left the meaning of WIFE to be Wonderful Instrument For Enjoyment. Consequently the wife become a vehicle for abuse only, and a non-entity in other respects. In the true meaning of marriage it is a concentual partnership, for the mutual benefit of the couple, the community, the nation and in total the world is better of for their union. The husband is the protector, and the wife as protected, protects him from becoming swayed towards other women by her fortitude of of religious principles. This is why in spiritual circles she is respectfully referred to as Stri Patni, or Dharmapatni, meaning one who is strong in helping the husband uphold cultural, religious, and righteous principles which are the integral basis of a God centred society.
"This rebuts the statement of the social reformers to the effect that marriage is only a social contract between two independent individuals. On the other hand, it is an inseparable divine, religious bond or contract entered into by parties along with their parents, preceptors, elders and kinsmen in the presence of the Holy Fire representing the greatest Godhood, as well as of leaders of the society. Another factor which makes the marriage ceremony doubly sacred and inviolable is that the bride and bride-groom take an oath before the sacred fire to the effect that their hearts are united and they have become permanent companions in dharma, artha, and kaama (virtue, wealth and joy) and would not deviate from the moral path under any circumstances."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 117-118.)
"The element of spirituality in Hindu (Vedic) marriage
has been pointed out in the paper, "An enquirey into idealism in Hindu
Marriage"(Prof. Krishnagopal Goswami, 1941. Vol - LXXIX, Calcutta Review.
page 45-48.) He states, "The Hindu marriage is primarily based upon spirituality
- it being deemed altogether as a creation of the spirit. In its entire
significance it represents neither a phenomenon of subjective arbitrariness
nor a product of so-called natural law. On the other hand, like other phenomena
of order, its origin is traced to some 'divine essence' which embodies
transcendental perfection of consciousness and therefore competent to account
for the supreme idealities that are associated with it. This theory of
divine origin bears the implication that marriage as an ideal institution
must be the creation of a divine mind or of a mind having the gift of divine
insight and reason. the spiritual import of marriage is looked up to have
been founded on some supra-sensuous experience which man, as he is constituted,
can hardly discover for himself (by his blunt senses). And it is from this
belief that marriage as religious institution is supposed to have been
introduced by the law of a Divine Being who regulates and conducts the
destiny of the world"(Prof. Krishnagopal Goswami, 1941. Vol - LXXIX, Calcutta
Review. page 45-48.).
This understanding allows one to enter into a realm in which the marriage institution aides and supports the householder to integrate properly into the universal principles and laws naturally functioning for those of us in the human form of life. Codes and duties are laid down by the Shastrakaras as to how and where one should perform such duties.
Entering into householder life is not obligatory. One may remain unmarried as a monk ('sannyasin'), or 'brahmacari' (celebate student) and have no contact with the opposite sex, going on to take formal vows of life long celibacy in the 'sannyasa', abbot order. Neither of these two 'ashrams', places of social shelter have anything to do with sex or other household affairs. It is only the 'Grihashta', householder, with wife who does. Consequently one would, if in that particular station in life like to get it right.
It should be known, and made clear that we are discussing marriage in its original, pure and functionary facility, and in no way are we condoning debauched social interaction that is witnessed, and partaken of by non-productive, exploitive sections of society. As that is not the purpose of marriage according those who are truly learned in this subject.
"Marriage is obligatory for those (Hindus) who do not desire to adopt the perpetual 'brahmacari' or of a 'sannyasi' and that is why the debts reasonably incurred for marriage of a Twice-born Hindu ('brahmin') are binding on the joint family properties"(1914) 37. Madras, 273FB, approving Kameshwara Shastri Vs Veeracharlu (1911) 34, Madras 422. Vide also Sundarbhai Vs Shivnarain (1908) 32 Bombay, 81; Debilal Sah Vs Nandakishore Gir (1922) 1, Patna. 266., Dr. Chanchala Kumar Chatterjee, Characteristics of Hindoo Marriage, page 27.). These mechanisms are in place in society to deter from human society becoming like animal society. Where males who are of mating age, and who are without mate, or uncommitted, freely hang around 'desirable females' with the intention that if at some time the husband, father, or elder brothers are not giving protection and shelter, he will find an opportunity to fulfil base animal desires with her.
There is no question or thought for family, lineage, gotra etc., only fulfilment of lusty desires. This is the common manner that so-called human society has diminished to in the present time. Consequently there are so many social ills occurring from such a situation as predicted in Bhagavad Gita (1:40-41.)
kula-ghnaanaam kulasya ca
patanti pitaro hy eshaam
"An increase of unwanted population certainly causes hellish
life for both the family and for those who destroy the family tradition.
The ancestors of such corrupt families fall down, because the performances
for offering them food and water after death through ritual (pinda or shraddha)
are entirely stopped."
Looking around at the ridiculous situations that arise in this world due to incompatibility of marriage, dysfunctional families as these persons are known; their problems and in many cases the unwanted children coming from such relationships made me research this subject to try to present this paper as an aid for perspective couples in taking further shelter of a realistic way of doing things.
"The ritual of Saptapadi, the seven steps - the mantras, looking at Dhruva star (the pole star) or Arundahati (among the Great Bear) - all these bear testimony to the great sanctity and inviolability of this sacred institution called marriage. A question may be asked at this juncture. 'Why should people consult astrologers for fixing marital alliances, as they are made in Heaven?' True, it has been already fixed by destiny or God. Still man tries his best to find out God's will on the basis of the rules prescribed by ancient sages. Unless there is Rnaanubandha, bond of karma of previous life binding two souls in holy wedlock, there cannot be true marriage. On the other hand, if the karmic bond between two persons (partners) is not sufficiently strong and lasting, it might break in the middle. To get over all such hurdles and troubles, parents of girls and boys seek the help of learned and devoted astrologers to know about the compatibility of the two horoscopes in respect to Gana, Dina, and others, ten or twelve in all, as well as health, longevity, issue, financial positions etc."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 118.)
As you will see, as we press on there are many main supportive
accounts taken into consideration, keeping our objectivity, and yet unbiased
overall view. However, contrary to modern day deistic propagandist or Judaeo-Christian
missionary theorists, the Vedic culture has been successfully functioning
and influencing others in one form or another all over the world for many
thousands of years(P.N.Oak, 1983. "Vedic World Heritage."; "A Review of
Beef in Ancient India", 1971. Western Indologists : A Study of Motives,
pages 17-38.) Those who are from other cultures as I was, and who have
done some research will know that the whole Vedic system of religious culture
is designed to invoke remembrance and dependence on Lord Sri Krishna, Vasudeva
the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and His pure devotees, who just for
reference, also followed this system.
Previously, and practically speaking, everyone followed this system irrespective whether one's situation was 'brahmin' (intellectual - priest), 'kshatri' (administrator - politician - military or police), 'vaishya' (merchant - business person - farmer), or 'shudra' (untrained or unskilled general worker). It was and for many still is a proven science accepted by all the great authorities of yore.
This is not only peculiar to the Indian subcontinent, and certainly not to any particular sect or caste.
"The Halbas, a forest tribe of Central Provinces (Madhya
Pradesha) of India, take care to examine the suitability of the match.
Thus before fixing a marriage the Joshi or caste-priest, examines the names
of both the bride and the bridegroom, and if according to his calculations
the names do not tally, the name of the bridegroom is changed either temporarily
or permanently(R.V. Russel, Tribes and Castes of the Central Provinces,
III, page 190.). Among the Kurubha tribes of Southern India , the father
of the bridegroom observes certain marks on the head of the proposed bride
before selection. The marks or curls are cautiously observed. Some of these
marks or curls forebode prosperity while others only misery to the family(Edgar
Thurston, Castes and Tribes of Southern India, IV, page 145.). The Marathas
of Bombay take utmost care in tallying the horoscope of both the bride
and the bridegroom before marriage. an astrologer is consulted and if the
horoscope of the bride and the bridegroom tally, marriage is settled(R.E.
Enthoven, The Tribes and Castes of Bombay, III, page 30.). Similarly the
Agarwalas of North Western Provinces of India, compare the horoscope of
both the bride and the bridegroom before settling a marriage(W. Crooke,
op. cit, I, page 20.). The same practice is prevalent among the Tibetans(Tsung-Lien
Shen & Shen-Chi Liu, Tibet and the Tibetans, page 145.). In East Anglia,
England, once it was the practiced that if a woman married a man with the
surname beginning with the same letter as her own, bad luck would dog their
steps from the moment solemnisation of marriage(George Ryley Scott, Curious
customs of Sex and Marriage, page 125.). Likewise in China marriage is
prohibited between pairs of the same surname(Kenneth Scott Latourette,
The Chinese - their history and culture, page 671. 3rd edn. 2 vols in one).
In Bengal today also horoscopes are compared before marriage and very often
the name of the bride is changed in her husband's house if it is similar
to the names of any one of the superiors. The Ho tribes of Singhbhum district
keenly observe the omens at the time of negotiation(D.N. Majumder, The
Affairs of a Tribe, page 133.)."(Dr. Chanchal Kumar Chatterjee, Studies
in the rites and rituals of Hindu marriage in ancient India, page 266.).
Our authority Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada says, (Srimad Bhagavatam 3:21:15., Srimad Bhagavatam 4:13:39., Srimad Bhagavatam 1:12:12/13., purports), that consulting brahminical astrologers to find practical times for the performance of purificatory rites is very important, and will help in the upliftment of society in this fallen age. Srila Prabhupada specifically makes what I feel to be a very profound statement as to why we should use these facilities at hand to help everyone find the best arrangement. "According to Vedic civilisation, therefore, before the marriage takes place an account is taken of the boy's and girl's families. If according to astrological calculation the combination is perfect, then the marriage takes place. Sometimes, however, there is a mistake, and family life becomes frustrating"(SB 4:13:39). One could well then ask what about marriages that come about of some random agreement............! This will be explained herein. There are so many quotations that can be referred to, on both astrology and compatibility, but to keep this direct and to the point of synastry, compatibility and to keep your attention to these few pages we will try to condense as much as possible.
As usual the main thing I feel in presenting this, is
faithfully trying to follow in the footsteps of the previous 'Acaryas'
(teachers) and 'Purohits' (domestic priests) of yore, in that way we can
use the following rules from shastra as guide lines for selection of compatibility
for marriage, selective breeding for an advanced, caring, and God Conscious
civilisation, in the present and for the future. This method which is part
of the function of the 'samskara' rites as mentioned and inferred to in
many of the purports surrounding Lord Caitanya's, Lord Rama's and Lord
Krishna's appearance in this world, as well as other great devotees. As
Srila Prabhupada tries to encourage us in the development of true 'brahminical'
culture as found in his books, we are shown by him how to practically apply
this culture, and imbibe it as a means to strengthen the society at large.
There are many ways he suggests to do this, primarily they are all directed
at absorption in the science of Krishna consciousness, of which Lord Sri
Krishna is the central focus. This department of Vedic knowledge is sometimes
known as 'Kalavidya' there is one nice purport which is rather supportive
of this understanding (Hrydayananda das Goswami. Srimad Bhagavatam 11:3:26.),
"There are other Vedic literatures, called Kala vidya, which give instructions
in material arts and sciences. Since all such Vedic arts and sciences are
ultimately intended to be used to render devotional service to the Supreme
Personality of Godhead, Keshava, saintly persons in the renounced order
of life should never blaspheme such apparently mundane literatures; because
such literatures are indirectly connected with the Supreme Lord, one may
go to hell for blaspheming these secondary literatures."
"Sraddha indicates a faithful mentality, which can be analysed in two sections. The first type of faith is a firm conviction that all the statements of the multifarious Vedic literatures are true. In other words, the understanding that Vedic knowledge in general is infallible is called Sraddha, or faith. A second type of faith is the belief that one must personally carry out a particular injunction of the Vedic literature in order to achieve his goal in life. A devotee of the Supreme Lord should thus apply the first type of faith to the various kala vidyas, or Vedic material arts and sciences, but he should not accept such scriptures as pointing out his personal goal in life. Nor should he carry out any Vedic injunctions that is contradictory to the injunctions of Vaisnava scriptures such as the Pancharatra."
"Thus one should faithfully accept all Vedic literature as directly or indirectly describing the Supreme Personality of Godhead and should not blaspheme any portion of it. Even for Lord Brahma, as well as for other creatures, down to the insignificant unmoving species such as trees and stones, blasphemy of any Vedic literature causes one to merge into the darkness of ignorance. Thus the suras - demigods, great sages and devotees of the Lord - should understand that the Pancharatric literature, as well as the four Vedas, the original Ramayana, the Srimad Bhagavatam and other Puranas, and the Mahabharata, are Vedic literatures that establish the supremacy of the Supreme Personality of Godhead and the unique transcendental position of the Lord's devotees according to their status of spiritual advancement. Any other vision of Vedic literatures is to be considered an illusion. In all authorised religious scriptures the ultimate goal is to understand that the Supreme Personality of Godhead is the controller of everything and everyone, and that the Lord's devotees are not different from Him, although such devotees are to be understood in terms of their level of spiritual advancement."(Hrydayananda das Goswami. Srimad Bhagavatam 11:3:26.).
If one takes a little time to analyse the 'samskara' rites
one can appreciate that they are not mere rituals, or 'smarta' type hair
splitting technicalities. Rather they help one to reaffirm faith in the
supremacy of the Lord by practical application of one's present, proposed,
or potential station in life. Even the Lord Himself in His multitude of
appearances underwent these practices to show us the method of cultural
advancement, as they are fundamental part of 'brahminical' society. We
can see directly the result of the process in a practical manner, as devotees
remember the Lord in every facet of their existence.
Personally in our family, ....and in some of the Temples that I have served in, we have been practicing successfully, and attracting persons also to follow the same, for they/we have been seeing things work practically, now for many years.
From reading Srimad Bhagavatam and Sri Caitanya Caritamrta, directly in connection with this process of 'samskaras', we see that Srila Prabhupada wanted a 'brahminical' basis for society to follow, specifically in the purport of Srimad Bhagavatam 10:8:6., wherein Srila Prabhupada mentions that "ISKCON is very eager to re-introduce 'varnashrama'" for the betterment of humanity.
Without labouring this point too much, some present that all is required is to chant the Holy Name of the Lord. And as we have said, on numerous occasions that is very good, and undoubtably true and practiced by all 'paramahamsa' devotees who have taken such cent per cent shelter of the Lord. However the for the general populous who are aspiring to do so tend to recognise more the changing world around them than the precious nature and 'ashraya' of the Name. For those, there is a system by which at every material junction of life, conditional as they/we are, there is a sacred rite to redirect one back to one's constitutional position, as a servant of God.
It seems that sometimes as though the thought of the word 'rituals' puts mental blocks in the minds of many devotees. However these can be easily removed when one understands the purpose, and reason for such activities and how they work. We have heard accusations of them being a leaning towards smarta-dom; thinking them totally unnecessary, or at best festive. Deity worship is also based on ritual, but ritual meaning 'tantra', or 'viddhi' - the following of a particular methodology or guidelines to direct or enable one to focus properly on the Lord. It may be agreeable, we hope, that while at least in the conditioned stage of our development, we follow guidelines as laid down in scripture, ....later, after asakti we can spontaneously interact directly with the Lord without such 'confining rituals'.
Srila Baladeva Vidyabhusana elaborates more on this in his Govinda Bhasya, ".....as for the various fruitive results, such as the attainment of rain, son, or residence in a celestial material planet, that are offered to the followers of the 'karma-kanda' rituals in the Veda, these benefits are offered to attract the minds of ordinary men. When ordinary men see that these material benefits are actually attained by performing Vedic Rituals, they become attracted to study the Vedas. By studying the Vedas they are able to discriminate between what is temporary and what is eternal. In this way they gradually become averse to the temporary things of this world and they come to hanker after brahman. In this way it may be understood that all the parts of the Vedas describe the Supreme Personality of Godhead."
"Vedic rituals bring material benefits as a result only when the performer of the ritual is filled with material desire. If the performer is materially desireless, then he does not gain a material result, but rather the result he obtains is purification of the heart and the manifestation of spiritual knowledge. Therefore the meaning of the verse 'tam etamvedanuvacanena brahmana vividishanti', '...brahmanas study the Vedas to understand the Supreme Personality of Godhead.'(Brihad Aranyaka Upanishad 4:4:22) is that in the Vedic rituals when one is required to worship a particular demigod, one does so as a limb or representative of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and thus by worshiping them one is actually worshipping the Supreme Lord, the result being that one gradually becomes pure in heart and awake to spiritual knowledge"(Baladev Vidyabhushana, Govinda Bhasya commentary on Vedanta Sutra 1:4:4., Adhikarana - Sutra 4.)
In the same way the purpose of Vedic astrology is not
meant for the trap that many fall into going to astrologers who often turn
their whole life upside down, causing more trouble than was there to being
with. For this reason the Olde Testement figure, Isiah said, "Astrology
may in the wrong hand lead away from God", the same Olde Testement said,
"God said let there be lights in the heavens, and let them give us signs."
Due to various social and political themes of the times even up until recently,
and in some instances even today astrologers have been persecuted as heretics,
while priests, cardinals, etc., used astrology to build churches, have
icons fashioned (carved), chartered events, set good times for meetings
etc., etc. After years of repression and intimidating propaganda in the
1950's with the "Repeal of Witchcraft Act" - allowed people to practice
Unfortunately, how astrology had been viewed was often toward that of prying into the future, where we have no business - St Augustine - believed it improper to pry into the mind of God "profaning what is truly Holy". From the other side, some astrologers used the science as a business, and also to manipulate their clientelle to further business.
Such astrology obviously caused disturbances rather than helped society. It is not meant to cause disturbances, or pre-empt one's direction in life by 'invoked or auto suggestion. This science, and the practitioners of this science should be careful to assist in a professional manner clients who come for help. I humbly suggest that if considerations are taken up by mature astrologers, and priests the bad reputation that astrology has in some quarters due to it misuse can be turned around. After all this is a genuine science, and it is rather silly to continuously go through life throwing out one baby with the bath water after another. Rather this method of analysing one's karmic lot has the potential to positively optimise the stellar and karmic influences which everyone comes across in one's individual microtic situation, as well as one's meso socio interaction, exo cultural development and macro holistic overall outlook towards life.
"Recently there is a widespread tendency among professional
astrologers to offer annual results as cheaply as a few 'annas'(next to
nothing) and some of them ask for the writing time or names of flowers
too! Such predictions are written out or printed and kept ready as ready
made garments to fit in any one and every one. Selection is made from a
set of printed predictions and the only data taken into consideration is
the radical Moon. I am constrained to remark that such methods are not
only unscientific but bring ill repute and disgrace to the Science of Astrology.
A cautious and wise student of astrology should make predictions only after
careful analysis of Natal, progressed horoscope and transit directions.
Such predictions will always be correct and bring fame and fair name to
the astrologer and the Science. A friend of mine, a lover of astrology,
recently after getting his annual reading from a reputed astrologer remarked,
'these astrologers have become a menace to society.' He referred to a very
assertive statement of the astrologer that in 1949 he would have a son."("Jupiter".
10th reprint 1978. page 172. D.B.Taraporevala Sons & Co. Bombay, India.)
"......we find that Jupiter and the Moon occupies the 5th house. Jupiter in the 5th house would restrict the number of issues. He is a malefic for people born in Taurus. Thus his malefic influence is two fold in the 5th. He is aspected by Saturn and Mars from the 11th house. Thus Jupiter and the 5th house have heavy affliction. The lord of the 5th Mercury is associated with the Sun and posited in the 7th house aspected by Rahu. Thus the lord of the 5th also suffers heavy affliction. From the Natal chart, we understand that there is little possibility of the native having a child in his life. The horoscope of the wife of the native who is born in Virgo has Jupiter in Capricorn, debilitated in the 5th house. Thus sterility in both the cases is evident. Yet the astrologer made an assertive statement that the native would get a son in 1949, perhaps based on the transit of Jupiter in the 5th from Radical Moon and because the Main period of Jupiter who is the planet occupying the 5th house and the sub-period of the lord of 5th was in progress. How could birth of children be predicted for people who are sterile?"("Jupiter". 10th reprint 1978. page 174. D.B.Taraporevala Sons & Co. Bombay, India.)
The fact of the matter remains that astrology as a science
has been around for many thousands of years. So many people are looking
for answers and direction from above. For many under God's domain, the
stars are the revealed heavens.
"Why so many people then turn away from the church and other narrow institutions is because the institution have actually moved away from the wholistic concept of God with everything structured around him for His service. Thus it has failed to attract people to its doors. The wholisitc approach however, has been around for 1000's of years. Astrology is an ancient belief and practice for re-affirming human significance and values where in a modern scientific world it would be otherwise atheistic, cold and unfeeling."(Father Norman Walker. 1992. Access Community Radio 810 AM., Auckland.)
Srila A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada writes, "According
to the Vedic system, the parents would consider the horoscopes of the boy
and girl who were to be married. If according to astrological calculations
the boy and the girl were compatible in every respect, the match was called
yojaka and the marriage would be accepted. Even fifty years ago, this system
was current in Hindu society. Regardless of the affluence of the boy or
the personal beauty of the girl, without this astrological compatibility
the marriage would not take place. A person is born in one of three categories,
known as deva-gana, manushya-gana, and rakshasa-gana. In different parts
of the universe there are demigods and demons, and in human society also
some people resemble demigods whereas others resemble demons. If according
to astrological calculations there was conflict between a godly and a demoniac
nature, the marriage would not take place. Similarly, there were calculations
of pratiloma and anuloma. The central idea is that if the boy and the girl
were on an equal level the marriage would be happy, whereas inequality
would lead to unhappiness. Because care is no longer taken in marriage,
we now find many divorces. Indeed, divorce has now become a common affair,
although formally one's marriage would continue life long, and the affection
between husband and wife was so great that the wife would voluntarily die
when her husband died or would remain a faithful widow throughout her entire
life. Now, of course, this is no longer possible, for human society has
fallen to the level of animal society. Marriage now takes place simply
by agreement. Dampatye 'bhirucir hetuh (Srimad Bhagavatam. 12:2:3.). The
word abhiruci means 'agreement.' If the boy and girl simply agree to marry,
the marriage takes place. But when the Vedic system is not rigidly observed,
marriage frequently ends in divorce"(Srimad Bhagavatam 9:18:23. purport)
The same is echoed in Srimad Bhagavatam 3:21:15. as follows, "In spite
of his condemning persons who approach the Lord for material advantages,
Kardama Muni expressed his material inability and desire before the Lord
by saying, 'Although I know that nothing material should be asked from
you, I nevertheless desire to marry a girl of like disposition.'
The phrase 'like disposition' is very significant. Formerly, boys and girls
of similar dispositions were married; the similar natures of the boy and
the girl were united in order to make them happy. Not more
than twenty years ago, and perhaps still current, parents in India used
to consult the horoscope of the boy and the girl to see whether there would
be factual union in their psychological conditions. These considerations
are very important. Nowadays marriage takes place without such consultation,
and therefore, soon after marriage, there is divorce and separation...................!"
If responsible action is taken by parents/guardians etc., before the required time of sexual maturation, many potential problems can and will be avoided.
3/. The Mysterious
"Marriages (at least good ones) are made in heaven. That's the nearly worldwide sentiment about the destiny of relationships, whether you ask the Matyos of Hungary, who believe a 'mysterious force, Love, draws the couple to each other', or hollywood's Alan Rudolph, whose Made in Heaven film characters - one recently dead, the other an unborn virgin soul - meet in heaven and discover they were 'made for each other'. That's the easy part; once incarnate, they have to find each other again against formidable obstacles, mostly psychological. In Rudolph's view the fact that these two pledged their truth before birth guarantees a profoundly satisfying, even blissful, match once they are born as man and woman - providing they can find each other again. As their presiding angelic genius locus tells them, if they don't meet each other by age thirty, they'll each marry someone else and remain unhappy for life.
"Folk wisdom of nearly all cultures has perennially acknowledged that certain matches are meant to be. The couple is right and the time is right. When these two factors are simultaneously 'right' then marriage is auspicious.
Astrology - Advanced Information on Relationship Dynamics.
"Astrology is the science of auspiciousness that puts folk wisdom into precise, predictive terms. Despite centuries of ridicule by mainstream science, in recent decades astrology has regained a measure of respectability and acknowledged practicality in the West. Many people consult qualified astrologers for background information on important decisions, from stock investment to travel plans - and an increasing number of intellectually adventurous couples are using this powerful tool to gauge the appropriateness of a match and the best time for the wedding ceremony.
"Astrology qualifies what folk wisdom suggests that certain times in the year, month and day may be more favourable for weddings. As eighteenth century British moralist William Cowper put it 'Misses! the tale that I relate / The lesson seems to carry - Chose not alone a proper mate / But proper time to marry.' Implicit in the folkways of traditional peoples who honour this view is the belief that starting a marriage off at the right time and with the right understanding can make all the difference in the quality of its outcome.
"Marital unions may be conceived in heaven, but we commonly overlook a crucial question in our late-twentieth-century approach to wedding plans. Between whom and when can marriages be most auspiciously formalised? We assume that because we're in love, our partner is unarguably perfect for us. Perhaps. But when the initial ravishment wanes and the practicalities of living together emerge, the relationship becomes more realistic. Astrological analysis of one's proposed partner before the wedding, even before betrothal, can provide invaluable advance information about the possible shoals and waves and delights the relationship is likely to generate. It's then not a question of abandoning the proposed match, but rather appreciating the old bromide that forewarned is fore-armed. A competent astrologer can provide accurate information one step ahead of your intuition or actual experience in the relationship, articulating the hidden issues for the benefit of both partners. In a sense astrological analysis is another form of marriage counselling, except that it's undertaken (one hopes) at the beginning of a relationship or marriage and not after it has become bumpy and fraught with inexplicable difficulty.
"Astrology provides a predictive vocabulary that assesses potential compatibility between mates, so that choosing a partner is based on more than initial attraction and shred interests. In the same way, astrology teaches that there is more to setting the date than what weekends are convenient for aunts and uncles from out of state (out of town). The wedding customs of many of the older folk cultures preserve this awareness, offering the world culture wedding a valuable resource. Crucial questions need to be answered: Is this person I've fallen in love with the right match for me? What is the right time, the most auspicious moment, for the wedding? The answers to these questions are the focus of this chapter, as we draw first from Western folk traditions of timing and mate selection, then delve deeper into the science of astrology in Chinese, Hindu, and Western cultures.
Naming the Day - Moving from Profane to Sacred Time.
"For most contemporary couples, the proper time to wed is largely a matter of convenience when the parents, relatives, and friends can come (usually a weekend); when the weather will be user-friendly (usually summer); when churches / temples are available (usually Saturday); and when it's most popular and socially correct (typically June through to September - Northern Hemisphere / November through to February - Southern Hemisphere). But according to world folk-lore wisdom and Eastern spiritual traditions, establishing the correct time for a wedding may be a bigger, more vital subject, more profound than the arguments of convenience suggest.
"When the question of timing comes up in Western-Judeo-Christian culture, suitable wedding dates have usually been determined with respect to preexistent liturgical calenders that mark holy days. Secular wedding celebrations must not interfere with the hieratic, ecclesiastical cycles of the year. Therefore, to prevent nuptial contretemps, it's been customary within the tight folds of orthodox established religions for the priest, minister, or rabbi to take responsibility for 'naming the day'.
"The folk-lore constellated about the theme of naming the day is complex, sometimes contradictory, but consistently intriguing. If the plethora of customs and traditions we're about to examine has one common theme, it's the inference that ordinary, calendrical time - yearly, seasonal, monthly, weekly, daily, hourly - has a sacred as well as a mundane dimension; and that a major life transition ritual such as a wedding properly takes place within sacred time. A correctly placed event thus becomes auspicious.
"The scattily of time and the appropriateness of the moment were once cornerstones of an entire cosmological view of the world, human life, and the universe; in fact, all human social activities, from agriculture to marriage, were undertaken within this sacralised context. According to scholars of myth, this context of sanctified time was the fertile soil from which all human ritual observance sprouted. The core rituals of human life, says Mircea Eliade, were originally offered in imitation of stages of the Creation for the 'continuous regeneration of time'. If the perennial wisdom implicit in folklore is to be trusted, it's telling us that our choice of day and hour can have an import that surpasses what convenience, personality, and conventionality would reasonably dictate."(Richard Leviton. 1993. Weddings by Design, pages 13-15.)
4/. The Malady
Without Sacred Marriage:
Bhuta Graha (Repression of the impulses results in............)
One such problem that has a tendency to surface, and which has been briefly speculated upon by Sigmund Freud in his pursuit of psychosexual analysis is "Bhuta Graha", or as it is generally termed in India due to its sensitivity 'Graha Vigvagha'. Naturally it is a delicate situation, one could imagine how someone goes to a doctor and subsequently gets told that they are haunted, it is enough to block any conversation after that. We have also experienced that same frustration in due course of our service.
According to Ayurvedic Medicine there are eight different departments set up by the founders of that great science, Lord Dhanvantari, Prajapati Brahma, Prajapati Daksa, the Aswini Kumaras, Shushruta Muni, Maharaj Nimi (who issued the Nimi Tantra), which all try to deal with the various diseases, accidents, aging developments, problems and occurrences in the body. These eight departments are Kay chikisa, dealing with the anatomy; Bala roga vigvagha, bala means children, the paediatric department, gynaecology, osticology; (Bhuta) Graha vigvagha, deals with the subtle realm, mental disturbances, one's thinking, psychosomatic diseases and epilepsy, as well as yosha pasmara, a kind of epilepsy found in women. 'Graha vigvagha' also includes bacteriology which falls into the category of the unseen; Urdvanga, Shalakya Tantra spoken by Nimi, Urdvanga means the upper part of the body, head and neck, E. N. T. (Ear, Nose, Throat) and Eye; Shalya, means surgery, even "plastic surgery" grafting etc., spoken by Shushruta more than 2000 years ago; Damshtra, is the science of recovering a person from the effects of poisons either swallowed, or snake bite, spider...........etc., came via teeth, damstra means teeth, (yours or someone else's); Jara, deals with old age, geriatrics etc; and Vishayi, rejuvenation, convalescence etc.
Genuinely 'bhuta graha' is a real influence of ghosts, but it is not like being totally possessed. In one who is totally possessed the soul who took his birth in that body takes a back seat so to speak, while a much stronger personality takes over the fulfilment of his or her desires. Sometimes there are seen to be arguments, or discussions going on as "they" walk down the street.
'Bhuta graha' is not exactly like this, sometimes it is
hardly noticeable in some persons except for when they become more afflicted
with the modes of passion and ignorance. Although due to the intense desire,
all consuming thoughts, actual haunting make develop.
In 'Bhuta Graha' as well as regular haunting, if it develops or happens, a likely time that it may become present is due to stress, some personal upheaval, when they don't know which way to turn, or some trauma, lamentation, anxiety, or in a more gross sense due to intoxication, any or either way. So one could say, what better time than adolescence?
It is seen that it becomes all encumbering and either they go on some kind of binge, or flip out, try to kill someone (even themselves), try to rape some poor girl (or throw themselves at some poor boy), or talk of fulfilling strange and perverted desires, or just become incurably self indulgent.
Actually it is not them who is acting strangely it is the 'bhutas' (ghostly), or 'bhuta' like desires who they have allowed to come in. The unfortunate situation is, that due to some deficiency in the holistic nature of the person as a whole, there is weakness of the intelligence. The intelligence, as we just mentioned is meant to be able to discriminate and guide the mind or desires of the soul, as to what is to be done, either enjoy, or not try to enjoy in a particular manner, according to culture. Generally civilised humans have some religious, or at least some moral codes that they live by, and by following them it keeps one associating with a particular mode of nature, be it goodness, passion or ignorance. But caught in the snare of lusty desires tends to throw one down to the lower natures of passion and ignorance.
'Bhuta Graha', when medically described it is actually it is labelled as a form of epilepsy that is found in young unmarried women or girls. Though it is not epilepsy proper, it is more a psychosomatic problem. As with others who are affected by 'bhutas' they also have many desires yet to be fulfilled. Deep inside there is the desire for a husband, children and the security that women need, to function properly. Yet due to the pressures of society, especially family, plus the hormonal changes that are going on in their bodies, the development from girls to physically mature women, anxiety builds up and as a pressure valve or release valve such things as mood changes; doing things for attention; pretending to be raped or abused; inventing friends; other eccentric behaviour; or depression; argumentation; disturbed sleep; breathing problems; "fits or epilepsy"; bolemia; anorexia; and even seeming semi conscious fainting has been seen to occur. Sigmund Freud said that this kind of repression of the impulses results in he says paranoid. We have seen all of the above over the years occurring in Iskcon. And it's due to suppressing the natural desires instead of understanding what they are, and dealing with them accordingly. 'Vishaya vinvartante niraharasya dehinah'.......Bhagavad Gita 2:59., one cannot merely suppress desires, rather one must gain a higher taste through training or education as to what is what.
In less morally oriented or lower class girls, who are less concerned with what society or the family thinks of them, they take to flirting with young boys, and even indulge in and search for gross sex, and it takes place. But in more prestigious families, better educated or informed, more cultured girls, we have studied, things would be different. If the girls at the same time as maintaining their external moral show, are lusty within then the complexities of 'bhuta graha' often take place.
I have seen in many incidences, symptoms of 'bhuta graha' where a constant battle for even keel goes on for years, because they just won't give up the pursuit for sense gratification, or be totally honest about their feelings. In others we have seen this syndrome drive deep into the emotions making girls stop having their monthly periods, or having fainting spells, or there are times when the build up is too much and they just "go ape." In others who have tried to live a cloistered life, we have seen it take them away from devotional service to fulfil their separate interests of those lusty desires, which take many forms. It may take the shape of gross sex, or even to travel here and there with the view to finding a mate, often with goals set way out of human reach; others go for the accumulation of material goods, anything from a new Rolex watch, to fast cars, fine clothing, mobile phone, big houses, jet setting jobs, anything to try to draw attention to themselves, and their success.
"This condition I may add is not isolated to young girls, - unmarried men, 'brahmacaris' also fall prey to this"(Dr. Liladhar Gupta, 1993. Ayurvedic Medicine - 'Bhuta Graha' - Interview. Access Community Radio 810AM. Auckland). It has been observed that as one's years increase it becomes more subtle, though not in every case, to the extreme point that the midlife crisis, when one's life is perceived as running out, and all those desires begin to again manifest, divorce may occur; taking a mistress; chasing young girls etc.; thus the dirty old man, or feme fatal syndromes have been seen to develop as a result.
There are always opportunists who will take advantage of a situation for their own enjoyment. In the same way there are always ghosts around in the day and in the night, and especially at the conjunctions of both, if they find a good candidate to enjoy through they will try to make the necessary arrangements for their desires and the girls (or boys) to be fulfilled. Bhutas who are of the subtle realm, having bodies made of intelligence, mind and false ego, they can sense the lusty desires that have been hidden below the surface, that have not actually been kicked out, or replaced. Thus it is seen that there is a dichotomy in the victim, externally everything looks very good but under the surface lusty desires are being played with. In actual fact they are their own victims.
I asked the Dr Liladhar Gupta for further reflections
on this subject, .....his reply was more explanatory, "In the name of dignity,
sophistication or fashion, both sexes have been exploited to the full.
Men tend to go for the macho role model, while the women the seductress,
and they don't even realise how they are being led. Or for that matter
that they are doing as programmed."
"If they don't know what they are doing one may well ask then, why do you girls dress so seductively if you don't want some one to become attracted in that way. The same could be asked of those a little older and 'wiser'. It is not for your husband, you are not yet married. So what are you doing, or what do they want? What to speak of dressing scantily / seductively in the presence of men other than their husbands. The answer is that brainwashed by the media and bewildered by lusty peer pressure that they cannot help themselves."
"So the task of the parent or guardian to educate the younger generation in their care is a very big and multiple faceted job, but if reasonably well done can save a person from all kinds of unnecessary trouble." Dr. Liladhar Gupta. 1993. at Iskcon, New Varshan - Interview/discussion.)
In this day and age there is a lot of talk of safe sex. The Vedic perspective is definitely orientated in this idea. However, the modern, and I may add rather limited and narrow concept of safe, is vastly different from that of the Vedic, and I may add, Wholistic/Holistic meaning of safe.
The modern version means that one can have sex-life by using modern contraceptive methods so that one can try to positively avoid the diseases that come from unrestricted sex-life with many partners, and the exchange of bodily fluids, some of whom the owners of may not be so particular about their habits or life-style. So one "takes precautions". It's a little like knowing that the fuse on a stick of dynamite is twenty seconds and so making plans how to enjoy within that time frame, but inadvertently trying to avoid the fact that the thing is going to go off in one's face very shortly, and has the potential to cause prolonged suffering, or even death.
"Did you take precautions?" Real precaution is not to engage in the activities in the first place; prevention of contacting an unnecessary potential problem, being better than inventions designed at avoiding having to find a cure. Having said that, we must emphasise that the purpose of this paper is not to stop people from getting married or from having sex, rather it is to show through insight, a sane method by wich to do it safely for the benefit of the entire society - Real Family Planning - Real Safe Sex.
5/. Sex as worshipful
There is a Vedic saying that sex and marriage are part of household life. A couple come together in wed-lock with the idea of having a family. Family does not just mean husband and wife it means children, so householder life means sex. Not unrestricted, illicit sex. But as is stated by Lord Krishna in the sacred Bhagavad Gita, "I am sex life which is not contrary to religious principles" (Lord Sri Krishna, +3000 B.C. Bhagavad Gita Ch 7:11.) This means for the propagation of children, and not otherwise, and then to assist in the development of the offspring's gradual progression toward returning to our original spiritual home. "Kandarpa is the sex desire for presenting good sons; therefore Kandarpa is the representative of Krishna. Sometimes sex is engaged in only for sense gratification; such sex does not represent Krishna. But sex for the generation of good children is called Kandarpa (the God of love) and represents Krishna" (A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami, Bhagavad Gita As It Is, Ch10:28. purport, page, 540.).
It may appear to some that these 'restrictions' are actually
restricting, but in actuality they are the guidelines for safe social interaction,
to save us from complications that naturally occur when one contravenes
the laws of nature.
Sex and finding members of the opposite sex attractive are a very well designed method for the preservation of the species. It is a kin to the 'attachment' that is naturally formulated by the gurgling, smiling and other antics of young babies, that make care-givers/guardians/parents dedicate their undivided attention to the welfare of the new born. "The burden of tending for the young baby is compensated by the baby's smiling, gurgling, and clasping fingers etc., all of which form attachment, and bonding, and the child is taken care of. It has be also observed that in children who do not respond so easily, or even respond badly, that parents or care givers do not formulate attachment, but rather negative attachments"(John Bowby 1907-1990. An Ethological View of Child Development.. 1982. page 182.; 282-85.; Answorth et al., 1971., 1978.) Otherwise why do it?
With nurture and nature, the Lord has made irrefutable mechanisms for the on going procreation and maintenance of every species. We observe in the animal species, cats, dogs etc., the female 'comes on heat'. At this time she emits a scent that males of the species, in the area find attractive, they pick it up and pursue her for inter-course. In the human species we have observed similar mechanisms in place.
In the menstrual cycle of women we can observe that women appear to change at the time of ovulation. They become more sensuous, their skin releases oils that give a certain 'attractive' lustre, their eyes become wider and with larger pupils. Many women know when they are ovulating due to the sticky emission of fluids from their vagina. Most men are unconscious of the blatant facts as to why they are especially attracted at this time. Actually it is all part of the same reproductive mechanism given to each species by the Lord. Just as a relative comparison; nature has also made the menstrual period, the time when women lose blood as their bodies are cleansed. However, the losing of blood makes them weak and irritable, most intelligent men keep their distance at this time, consequently another provision of nature to naturally avoid intimate contact or sex at this time.
Everything has been sufficiently structured, so that we
can live nicely together, continue the species, and afterwards pass on.
Selective, and intimate relationships, are natures method of continuing
the process. That's the reason that sex life sensually 'feels good', the
genitals have this special function for procreation. When one becomes older,
and quality of semen in men decreases, and less or no eggs fall from the
ovaries, the function, and desire, and capability for sex-life naturally
decreases. This is the method that the Lord has designed for the on-going
creation, and selection of good quality breeding. Older people, although
liking to dote young grand children, do not have the inclination or patience
in most cases to rear babies. Thus it is rare that they have them at this
time of life.
Sex is specifically for the procreation of children, the next generation. For this purpose it is totally natural, for any other it is unnatural and brings the various consequences that now pervade the planet; sexually transmitted diseases, abortion, rape, pornography, child prostitution, homosexuality, transvestites, confused transsexuals' and other perversions of what sex is originally meant for.
Abuse is an interesting word, one which is widely used today. Literally it means, "to use improperly or injuriously; to mistreat; to misemploy (Funk & Wangnals Dictionary, 1946. page 8.) It is not a matter of choice, or living in the nineties attitude.........it is simply not a matter of opinion. Put your fingers in the fire, you're going to get burned, neglecting known properties of fire or any other interactive element is not wise. Restrictions are made as a safe guard so as not to cause us the problems that seem to be plaguing the world at present.
"There are restrictions for the householders even in sex-life, which should only be engaged in for the propagation of children. If he does not require children, he should not enjoy sex life with his wife. Modern society enjoys sex life with contraceptive methods or more abominable methods (abortion and contraception - murder in the womb) to avoid the responsibility of children. This is not in the transcendental quality, but is demoniac. If anyone, even the householder, wants to make progress in spiritual life, he must control his sex life and should not beget children without the purpose of serving Krishna. If he is able to beget children who will be in Krishna consciousness, one can produce hundreds of children, but without this capacity one should not indulge only for sense pleasure"(A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami, Bhagavad Gita As It Is, Ch. 16:3. purport page. 744.). "Generally it is the ambition of a young girl to have a very handsome husband who is learned, clever, young and rich. According to the Vedic culture, one is rich if he possesses a large stock of food grains and a very large number of animals. 'Dhanyena dhanavan gavaya dhanavan': one is rich if he possesses food grains, cows and bulls. A girl also desires to have many children, especially sons ('putra') who are very intelligent and long living. Now there is propaganda to have one or two children and kill the rest by contraceptive methods because society has deteriorated. But the natural ambition of a girl is to possess not only more than one child but at least half a dozen"(A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, Chaitanya Charitamrta Adi-lila: Chapter 14:55., Purport.)
"Marriage on the principles of religious life is therefore current in all civilised human society because that is the way for restricted sex life. This restricted, unattached sex life is also a kind of 'yajna' because the restricted householder sacrifices his general tendency toward sense gratification for a higher, transcendental life"(A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami, Bhagavad Gita As It Is, Ch. 4:26. purport page 254.).
If one really wants to be and feel free, and able to chose
to be safe in one's actions one has to be properly informed, and not informed
by lusty motivated exploiters of women.
Exploitation of woman folk has been the source of much controversy recently, even giving birth to such groups as women's liberation, woman's refuge, and other necessary support groups for woman. I suggest that we also ask a question why? "In the Dharma Shastras one does come across some passages the deprecate woman - suggesting that they are the gateway to hell and that they lead men astray through their seductive powers - these passages have more to do with men's attitude to women rather than inherent qualities of the women themselves. There are also many passages which praise women: ' Women must always be honoured and adorned by their fathers, brothers, husbands and brother-in-law, who desire their own welfare'(Manu Smriti 3:55). 'Where women are honoured, there the gods are pleased; but where they are dishonoured, no sacred rite yields its rewards'(Manu Smriti 3:56.) 'The family in which the women lament quickly meets with destruction; the family in which the womenfolk rejoice will always prosper'(Manu Smriti 3:57.) 'A wife who is tainted by sin, whether she be quarrelsome, or having left home, or having been raped, or fallen into the hands of robbers; must never be abandoned; to forsake her is not prescribes by the sacred law. Let the husband wait for the time of her period and then by her temporary uncleanliness she becomes pure'(Vasista Samhita 28:2-3.)"(Veda Vani, Oct 1994. Vol 1, No. 2, The Quarterly Magazine of the Australian Council of Hindu Clergy, page 2.)
6/. Different Kinds
The Vedic system of choosing or gaining a wife, or husband is very nice actually, and is very safe. It's not that there won't be problems, this material world means problems, but with the underlying asset of the culture and positive assistance of a stable society that lives what it preaches, security is found.
Then of course finding the best days to perform the marriage that will not only not cause negative effects such as Kuja dosha, and so many other doshas, to have effect. But will enhance the flavour of the couple in their relationship. There are many things to be both known and looked into regarding this matter not that simply two people are brought together, here's a boy and here's a girl. Hey presto, and there's a marriage.
"One consequence that has been observed in what has come to be known as 'democratic marriage' is that people are less likely to stay with a marriage if it does not meet their needs (Lloyd, 1978.). The religions, temples, mosques, synagogues, churches and even legal systems have less power to keep unhappily married couples together too, as they simply want to do their own thing; .........in fact many are not even thinking of marriage opting for 'defacto marriage' of mutual agreement rather than taking a risk at the unknown. The law on the other hand now ensures a 'fair arrangement' for dividing property and now recognises 'Irretrievable breakdown of marriage' as the only grounds for divorce" (Human development, Massey University Study Guide, 1995. [85.102], Pg 235.) So what is happening ?
The world is going to the dogs, starting from the family institution, which great souls like Chanakya Pandit state should be the blocks on which the foundation of sane society should be based.
A family is a place where minds come in contact
with one another.
If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden.
But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden.(Lord Buddha, B.C. 568-488).
But for the satisfaction of the itch of sensual desire, and an uncontrolled mind, everything else is forgotten. This kind of negligence is what destroys societies, and culture and breeds a lack of faith in its executioners. Especially when so many of the marriages break up and the children are neglected, or abused or all three.
Just by analysing the reasons for bringing persons together
for marriage one can learn something of the individuals involved, in the
same way as astrologers analyse the nature of a day to see what it's fruits
are. As a point of interest in this regard there are also eight different
kinds of marriage, vivaha mentioned in the shastra to be taken into account.
Of which the first three, Brahma and its variant form Prajapatya, are arranged
through astrology by the King, 'Brahmins', or elders and are meant for
bringing forth good progeny in the world. "A son born of that girl sanctifies
twenty one generations on either side. The groom is invited and a girl
bedecked according to capacity is given in marriage"(Garuda Purana 1:95:7.)
'Deva' ('Daiva') 'vivaha', is of two types according to different sources;
"...a 'Rtvik' in a sacrifice is chosen as the bridegroom"(Garuda Purana
1:95:8.) Other sources say that Daiva means to be arranged through astrology
by parents, and as with Arsha, a qualified girl is voluntarily given to
a qualified 'Brahmin' as a gift at a good time and place for further development
of religious duties, 'dharma'. Qualification means she is fully aware and
willing to enter into household life. But 'Arsha' according to Garuda Purana,
is if two cows are taken along with the bride and given it is known as
'Arsha' either way it is said that if such a wedding is done and a son
is born then fourteen generations are sanctified(Garuda Purana 1:95:8.).
The fourth is the 'Swayamvara vivaha' which was previously performed by the great saintly Kingly families of yore according to religious principals. The king would advertise that he has a very qualified and beautiful daughter, and princes from all over would come and enter into competition for her hand, but in this age it is forbidden.
Another is called 'Gandharva' or sometimes 'Sakaama', literally means with desire or 'love'. It is said that a son born of 'Sakaam vivaha' sanctifies six generations including himself (Garuda Purana 1:95:9.) Gandharva vivaha is very popular today, what it entails is that merely by the boy and girls' mutual arrangement it happens, (Garuda Purana 1:95:10.) and this is what has become generally accepted by mundane society at large today. Shastra says that the marriage in which the advice "....both of you carry on your sacred duties together," is given (Garuda Purana 1:95:9.) is called 'Sakaam'. As with 'Gandharva vivaha' sometimes it lasts sometimes it doesn't. Then we have the court cases and alimony etc., very nice revenue made by the legal profession who uphold it so strongly.
The other marriages are the Kshatriya vivaha where the girl is abducted and there is a display of valour and a fight to gain the bride, as we see from the incident with Lord Krishna stealing Rukmini Devi, this is also prohibited. Then we have 'Asura' or 'Pishacha vivaha', wherein the girl is seduced in secret whilst asleep or given some intoxicating sedatives, seduced and thus considered wed. Why wed simply because in Vedic culture no one would touch her after that. 'Rakshasa vivaha' is where the girl is taken by fraud or deceit and then declared the wife of..........., as the 'asura' Ravana tried to do with Lanka Sita! Needless to say these last three are not recommended, more than that according to 'shastra' they are prohibited in the Kali Yuga. (These eight are found elaborately described in the Asvalayana Grhyasutra, Manu Samhita 3rd chapter, Maitrayaniya Samhita 1:10:11., Mahabharata Adi parva 67:8-9., Apastambha Grhyasutra 11:5:11:17-20. also 11:5:12:1-2., Kathaka Grhyasutra 16:1 and 25:1, Varaha Grhyasutra 20:11-18, and even in Kama sutra of Vatsyayana 3:5:27, but just for quick reference they are also briefly outlined in the purports of Srila A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada's Srimad Bhagavatam 3:22:15 & 16.)
7/. Asaucam (impurity):
In Garuda Purana (1:95:11-33.) various and yet specific guidelines are also given in regards to pubity, abduction, abortion, adultery, drunkards, divorce, alimony, widowhood, remarriage, etc.
If abortion or 'still birth' takes place, the freedom from impurity is in as many nights as months of the pregnancy - three months pregnancy, three nights asaucam (Garuda Purana 1:50:83-86.) death of a child before 'upanayana' (sacred thread), 'cuda karan' (first hair cutting) etc., is also discussed. Those who commit abortion, adultery or rape and other activities, are adequately "rewarded" according to Garuda Purana (1:105:1-73.)
There is much too much to comment on here, in the finding of a good mate. However, for reference some practical quotations may well be used according to application of time and individual circumstances. There are many other references to be viewed as well, not mentioned here in this paper ..........! My reason is simple, again they are not so relevant here.
We are trying to present what we feel is, according to shastra, a suitable method for selective breeding, so that at least our society, Iskcon, can steer away from the problematic developments of single (solo) parents, and the sufferings of the 'varnasankara', unwanted and neglected progeny, produced by irresponsible timing of 'nishekam', conception or matchmaking. This entire subject matter is very scientific, a soft science, and yet unlike modern 'hard science', it is very down to earth, understandable, and easily practiced for those inclined.
As we have drifted, not without direction, but toward the procreative side of marriage, there is a system of methodology in place here too.
See my Asaucham information pages (sutakam and mritakam):
"In the Grhyasutras it has been laid down that marriage should not be consummated for a certain period. Similarly among some tribes in India and outside, the pair are not allowed to be united sexually for a certain period after the completion of marriage rites. In the north-east of Baster among the Murias the marriage is consummated only on the fourth night(Verrier Elwin, The Muria and their Ghotul, page 130.). Among the Kurubas (E Thurston, op, cit, IV., page 147.) of south India the consummation takes place after three months of marriage. The Tamil Brahmanas do not consummate their marriage before the fourth night(ibid, I, page 289-290.) Among the Amma Coorgs the consummation takes place on the third day(L.A.K.Iyer, The Coorg Tribes and Castes, page 65.). The Marathas consummate their marriage after the first menstruation of the bride after marriage(R.E. Enthoven, op, cit, III, page 39.) According to Mr Verrier Elwin(V.Elwin, Bondo Highlander, page 90-100.) the Bondos of Middle India consider the marriage as valid only after the consummation or formal bedding of the pair. The Lodhas of Bengal consummate their marriage after seven days of marriage(P.K.Bhowmick, The Lodhas of West Bengal. page 100.). Among the Akas (Raghuvir Sinha, The Akas, page 75.) of the Himalayan areas the consummation does not take place before one year as the wife will be taken to her new home only after one year"(Dr. Chanchala Kumar Chattajee, Rites and Rituals of Hindu Marriage, page 321-322.). In the 'vivaha' system that is followed by the International Society for Krishna consciousness the same system prevails: 'tri ratra maksharalavana ashinau syaata amadhah shayiyatam nirmithunau syatam'. Both the bride and the groom should refrain from salty food, and avoiding copulation (sex), sleep on the floor for three days and nights from the wedding day before the woman become officially wife ('patni').
Of The People During Another Time Of Flux:
"This custom of practicing continence for some time after the marriage, may be traced back to the hoary antiquity of Indo-European period as is evident from the prevalence of it among so many Indo-European peoples viz, Romans, Albanians, Germans, Swiss peoples, Esthonians and various other peoples of Europe"(Dr. Westermarck, History of Human Marriage, II., page 557-559.)
However, this is not the belief of many. In fact there is an awakening, or revival to what really went on in history over the course of the past two or three hundred years.
"Every student of Indian history is familiar with the theory of the Aryan invasion of India. Briefly this theory proselytes that the original inhabitants of Northern India were Dravidian people. They established the great Indus valley civilisation the ruins of which can be seen in Harappa and Mohenjo Daro (now in Pakistan). These peaceful civilised urban Dravidians were conquered and dispossessed by a race of fire worshipping nomads known as Aryans. These Indo-Aryan people spoke sanskrit and held the Vedas as their sacred Scriptures. It is presumed that these nomads originated somewhere in the Northern hemisphere either central Asia (Russia) or Scandinavia or somewhere thereabouts; one group broke off and settled in Persia, another established the Hittite settlements of the Middle East and the other group invaded India. The displaced Dravidians migrated South to escape the marauding hordes from central Asia and finally settled in the areas which now comprise Tamilnadu, Karnataka, Kerala, and Andhra Pradesh."(Veda Vani, Oct 1995. The Quarterly Newsletter of the Australian Council of Hindu Clergy, page 3.).
"This theory was first pioneered by Max Muller and his associates in order to explain to themselves and their patrons the advanced and sophisticated civilisation they found in India. This theory was and is taken for granted as self evident and is taught in many schools and universities, but it does not stand for one second before even a brief and superficial examination. Many scholars nowadays in both India and the West have vigorously refuted it as the product of Imperialism and cultural bias."(Veda Vani, Oct 1995. The Quarterly Newsletter of the Australian Council of Hindu Clergy, page 3.).
"The literature and historical records of both the Aryans and the Dravidians are completely silent about the alleged 'invasion' and 'dispossession'. Not one single Tamil or Sanskrit scholar pre-colonisation by Europeans conceived of this idea. In fact even post colonisation the only native intellectuals who adopted this erroneous idea were those who could profit by it. The western educated intelligentsia thought that by endorsing a 'European' origin for the Indian civilisation it would improve their status in the eyes of their colonial masters and thus make integrating themselves easier. The others who have recently capitalised on this theory are political groups namely the Dravida Kazhagam (D.K.) and Dravida Munetra Kazhagam (D.M.K.). By driving a wedge between Northern / Aryan / Sanskrit/ Vaishnava camp and the Southern / Dravidian / Tamil / Saivaite camp they hope to achieve legitimisation for their own personal aspirations"(Veda Vani, Oct 1995. The Quarterly Newsletter of the Australian Council of Hindu Clergy, page 4.). (More can be found in "Vedic World Heritage", 1983. P.N. Oak.; "Readings in Vedic Literature", "The Indologists" pages 167-177.; "A Review of Beef in Ancient India" Chapter 3., Western Indologists, A Study Of Their Motives, pages 17-38.; and in my forth coming book "Have Mercy On The Animals", chapter entitled, "The Great Deception By The Ruling Class", J. Marshall.)
10/. Trust and Faith
In Bona Fide Authorities - The Means To Bridge Vulnerability:
In everything we do, we need to take shelter of those who know what is what. It requires placing oneself with trust at the will of another. To do that requires a certain amount of faith, trust, and love. The same is to be found in harmonius marriages, in marriage as a successful institution, and even in the procreative act.
Sexual intercourse, in which we bring into the world a child, who is in such a vulnerable condition, has to in itself create such an environment that unnecessary difficulties can be easily overcome. As to the specific kind of danger to the persons by demons, ghosts, malefic planets and other forms of evil influences to which they may be at this time exposed are too numerous, to pin down. Srimad Bhagavatam, Muhurtha Shastra, Kalaprakashika give numerable insights into possibilities, so abstinence again as a precaution is better than latter trying to reform a problematic character. Rather, who we want as our child is defined as Putra.
11/. Putra; (Putra,
One should declare one's intention to the Lord (go before the Saligram, or the Deity) to bring into the world a pure Krishna conscious soul, "A Ray Of Vishnu" to benefit the whole of mankind, and to go back to Godhead at the end of his life and to enable others also to. This is putra.
Pum alias Put is a hell. Those who die without children go to this hell, and he who saves one from this hell is called putra. (Shloka 38 chapter 74, Adi Parva of Mahabharata.)
Pumnamno narakadyastu trayate pitaram sutah
Tasmat putra iti proktah svayameva swayambhuva
(Shloka 138 chapter 9. Manusmriti.)
"Because a son of his own, by birth, saves a father from the hell called 'Put' he is called Putra."
According to shastra there are twelve different kinds of Putras, sons, or qualified progeny.
Aurasputra. A son born to a wife of his own caste begot by the husband himself is called aurasputra.
Ksetrajaputra. If one dies without children or is impotent or possessed of a disease, his wife is lawfully allowed to lie with the brother of the husband to get a child. The son born of such a union is called ksetrajaputra.
Dattaputra. When one is worrying miserably for getting a son and if at that time a husband and wife willingly hand over a son born to them by mutual consent with the following words :"This son becomes your own from now on," with a religious sprinkling of water, such a son is called dattaputra.
Krtrimaputra. A son adopted from one's own caste for the purpose of doing the obsequial ceremonies for the manes is called kstrimaputra.
Guudhotputra. A son born to one's wife by another man is called guudhotputra.
Apaviddhaputra. Where a son is rejected by either a father or mother or by both and that son is taken care of and brought up by another man, that son becomes an apaviddhaputra.
Kaninaputra. If a son is born to a virgin before marriage while living with her father, that son is called a kaninaputra.
Sahodhaputra. When a girl is married while pregnant the son born to her after marriage is called a sahodhaputra.
Krtakaputra. A son purchased and bought up by a sonless man is called krtakaputra.
Paunarbhavaputra. A son born to a woman after becoming a widow or after being divorced by her husband by her willingly going with another man is called a paunarbhavaputra.
Swayamdattaputra. When a son after becoming an orphan or after being abandoned by his parents goes willingly to another man and remains with him as his son is called Swayamdattaputra.
Shaudraputra. A son born to a brahmin of a shudra wife is called a shaudra (paarashava) putra.(Vettam Mani, Puranic Encyclopaedia, 1975, page 613.)
The time should be recorded - morning time is according to some best, though some say evening is best. The following statement clarifies according to some why. In the morning time, the influences of the modes of nature are more in the modes of goodness, leaning toward the active mode of passion. Because of this some persons conceive their children at this time to invoke 'jiva' souls of a 'sattwa guna'. Ayurveda suggests that the morning time is ruled by 'vat' (air), and later by a mixture of 'vat', and 'pita' (fire). While at the same time it is recognised that the evening time is the time of 'kapha' which is very good for sex. The nature of 'kapha' also mentioned in Ayurveda:
"The natural time for intimacy is during 'kapha'
time in the evening, as the sexual act increases 'vata' due to the amount
of energy expended throughout the mind and body.
Satisfying sexual union between two people brings increased health, vitality 'ojas', and thus immunity. It has to be developed over time, with each partner being concerned most with their partners satisfaction on physical, mental, emotional, and deep inner spiritual levels. Thus, they build up a trust that allows the surrender of the defences of their innermost being, allowing each to open completely to the other and the unity of orgasm.
Reciprocal satisfaction cannot be hurried and needs a certain propriety. Though touch and smell are the primary senses of intimacy, every sense should be satisfied. Intimacy needs pleasant surroundings - flowers, soft music, sweet foods. Bathe in warm water perfumed with oils. Healthy sex also needs the clarity of total awareness.
Gratification of lust and unsatisfying sex will bring ill health due to increased 'doshas' (life airs), loss of 'ojas' (vital force), and thus reduced immunity. Excessive loss of reproductive tissue weakens other tissue types and this is aggravated by dryness in the cells from increased 'vata'. Unsatisfying sex also disturbs the emotions, and thus the 'doshas', principally 'pitta' from anger and frustration, but also 'vata' if fear or vulnerability is experienced, or 'kapha' if you are possessive.
Desire to gratify lust may lead to an addiction to sex and frequent changing of partners in vain attempts to reach the deep satisfaction that can be found in sexual union. Vatas may change their partners because they seek satisfaction through new experiences; pitta in search of an intensity they cannot, or feel unable to, achieve; and kaphas because, once interested in sex, they have big appetites.
The frequency of sex depends on your constitution and also the seasons - it is more depleting in hot weather than cold. 'Kaphas' have greater stamina and are able to partake more frequently and for longer than 'vatas' and 'pittas'."(J. H. Morrison. 1995. The Book of Ayurveda - A Guide To Personal Wellbeing. page 116.)
Either way (morning or evening) after the mixing of the two fluids (the semen and the ovum) the female partner should rest so as to give them a chance to join and begin the growth of the foetus.
12/. Real Genetic engineering:
For many the first place to start any discussion of determining the sex of a child is with the genetics, human genetics. "Our sex, and much of our biological makeup, is a result of genes contributed by the father's sperm cell and the mothers egg cell at conception, that is at the formation of a new cell. All this genetic material is contained in twenty three pairs of chromosomes which reside in that new cell. The sperm and egg each contribute genetic information to one member of each pair.
We are concerned with the twenty third pair of chromosomes, the sex chromosomes. This pair is notated XX for the female and XY for male. It is the logic of genetics that an egg (female cell) can contribute only an X to the twenty third chromosome pair, since it has the XX pair. But since the sperm (male cell) contains the XY pair, it can contribute either an X, resulting in an XX pair (female child), or a Y, resulting in an XY pair (male child)"(Lewontin, 1982, pg 138-139; A.Giddens -Sociology, 1993, page 162.).
"From the time of ejaculation, sperm maintain their
ability to fertilise an ovum for up to 48 hours; and an ova can be fertilised
for about 24 hours after release from the ovary. Thus there is a 'window'
of about 48 hours during the menstrual cycle when sexual inter course can
result in fertilisation. Sperm that reaches the woman's reproductive tract
up to 24 hours before or after an ovum is released are capable of fertilising
"From the uterus the sperm head into the fallopian tube, but only a few sperm actually get that far. The protective layer around the ovum needs to be worn down so that one, and only one, sperm cell will actually penetrate the membrane. About 20 million sperm cells must enter a woman's body at one time to make fertilisation likely, but only one of them can fertilise an ovum to conceive a new human being"(D. Papilia & S. Olds, Human development, 1992. page 41.)
"If fertilisation does not occur, the ovum and any sperm cells in the woman's body die. The sperm are absorbed by the woman's white blood cells, and the ovum passes into the uterus and exits through the vagina. If sperm and ovum do meet, they conceive a new life and endow it with a rich genetic legacy" (D. Papilia & S. Olds, Human development, 1992. page 41.)
Srila A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupad makes the point
(Srimad Bhagavatam 3:31:1-2.), "......that there is no question of creating
life in the womb of the living entity, the soul takes shelter in a particle
of semen and is then pushed into the womb of a woman. It is by this process
that a particular type of human form is given to a person who has already
suffered hellish life. It is arranged that the soul is transferred to a
particular man who karmically is suitable to be the father."
Any other way of doing this is not creating life but is simply imitating the process as above mentioned, by artificially extracting semen from a man, keeping it in storage, and injecting it into an womb-like receptacle, where the two fluids are mixed, and kept for incubation, and protection for development of fetal tissue.
"After conception, the new cell divides and forms new identical cells (with identical chromosomes), which then divide, and before long the human embryo takes shape. Early on, though, the embryo contains the biological apparatus, the gonads, to develop either male testes or female ovaries. The chromosome difference acts like a switch, early in the development of the embryo, moving the physical development of the organism along one or other of two tracks" (Lewontin, 1982, pg 138-139; A.Giddens -Sociology, 1993, page 162.).
If you look into the process of 'samskaras' further you
will find that their is a process for reinforcing the male properties at
this time, by ritual, using male ingredients and placing them into the
mothers body and so influencing the sexual growth of a male child. This
is called 'pumsavan', and is generally done between birth and the third
month when the gender of the child are formed. This is more explicable
in Garuda Purana.
There are further influences that can and do influence the production, discharge and mixing of the fluids at conception and some of that is described in the 'shastra'.
According to many Ayurvedic physicians the best time of year to try to conceive a child is in the Spring. Generally it is accepted that at this time of the year the subtle influences invoke 'kapha' (the essence of bodily fluids) to increase in the male which helps him to increase the quality and quantity of semen. And for the female partner, Spring being ruled by Shukra (Venus - or Friga, the goddess of love and fertility) so that naturally the female partner is more fertile in Spring, thus a better chance of pregnancy. This also generally follows the notion that then the mother can bear the child through the summer months when usually her health would be very good, and then give birth towards the end of winter, the child spending the first few months in a protected environment, and making their first journey to the temple ('niskramanam') as their entrance to society as again spring enters the air.
To assist the increase of the amount of semen passed (Garuda
Purana 1:184:13-16.)(Kama Sutra, part 7. ch. 1.) certain medicines and
procedures can be followed as it is recognised that if there is an increase
in the fluids of the male then male children are likely to be born and
visa versa. According to the Rg Veda, if at the time of sex the secretions
of the mother are more profuse than those of the father, the child will
receive a female body, and if the secretions of the father are more profuse
than those of the mother, the child will receive a male body. These are
the subtle laws of nature, which act according to the desire of the living
entity (Srimad Bhagavatam 6:1:55.).
"Devahuti was too sexually excited, and therefore she discharged more ova, and nine daughters were born. It is said in the smrti-shastra as well as in the Ayur-veda that when the discharge of the male is greater, male children are begotten, but when the discharge of the female is greater, female children are begotten (Srimad Bhagavatam Canto 3:23:48. ).
Although it is a fact that no one mode of nature (i.e. Goodness, Passion, Ignorance) is in itself the only active mode at any one time, in the process of the conception of Krishna conscious children one should be careful to keep one's objective in mind. Definitely the procreative mode of passion must to some degree be there for the male function of erection and ejaculation to take place. However the intelligence should be predominated by the conscious, pleasingly harmonic mode of goodness, for there to be a "divine conception."
"Contemptuous sons are born of the condemned womb of their mother. In Bhagavad-Gita (1:40.) it is said, "When there is deliberate negligence of the regulative principles of religious life, the women as a class become polluted, and as a result there are unwanted children." This is especially true for boys; if the mother is not good, there cannot be good sons. The learned Kasyapa could foresee the character of the sons who would be born of the condemned womb of Diti. The womb was condemned because of the mother's being too sexually inclined and thus transgressing all the laws and injunctions of the scriptures. In a society where such women are predominant, one should not expect good children" (Srimad Bhagavatam Canto 3:14:39.).
The responsibility is carried squarely on the shoulders of the parents, becoming married, and begetting children is not such a cheap thing.
"One should not become father. The father and mother should have determination that 'The child I produce, I give birth, if I cannot teach him Krsna conscious, surrender to Krsna, I shall not beget any child.' This is real contraceptive method. Not to beget child like cats and dogs. Sva-vid-varahostra-khara. So Bhagavat says, "One should not become father, one should not become mother, one should not become relative, one should not become king, one should not become guru, if they cannot save their dependants from this cycle of birth and death."(A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada's Lectures, Srimad Bhagavatam 1972, 15th June. LA)
This means being both materially and spiritually prepared:
Some interesting things may be reflected upon, from the Vedic perspective.
When we here the verse; "That one should not become guru, husband or father unless one can liberate one's dependents."
We can understand easily this in regard to 'gurus', because
without proper example, guidance, assistance, and connection to Krishna,
the disciple cannot achieve the supreme goal easily; the same is there
for the husband too. A husband provides not only material facility to his
wife, but also security. That security not only means that she feels, and
is protected from physical harm, but also from contamination from subtle
material influences (lust, anger, greed, envy, etc.) either attacking her
as an individual, or infiltrating their sacred relationship - this means
he has a big responsibility too, as Pati guru. What to speak of becoming
a father; where the lives of several individuals may be in your charge.
Bringing into the world progeny therefore should be carefully considered
as much as being qualified to accept disciples. I personally have had the
experience of not knowing what to do at times, in regard to bringing up
children - the reality needs to be that of dig the well before you need
the water. First know who these souls are who are entering into your family
- 'jivera swarup hoy krsnera nitya 'dasas' (or 'dasis'); be prepared with
knowledge to be able to give them all that they need to get through their
growing dependency - food, clothing, emotional, educational support, spiritual
direction, etc. It is not easy if one want to do the job / function properly.
There are so many 'cats' and 'dogs' born every minute of the day, and so
many 'fathers' that sired them. How many of them have direction, or can
give direction, remains to be seen - thus the decision to accept disciples,
to give security / assurance / to accept a wife, or to raise children should
never be taken lightly.
From the other side; disciples need to choose their 'gurus' with great care, so as not to be cheated, sold short, or cheat themselves - by not knowing what is 'guru'. Candidates for wife-hood, need also to be trained how to assist their husbands. In the Saptapadi Gaman section of the 'Vivaha' (marriage) ceremony the wife is described as th fortress that protects her husband, as the owner and caretaker of the family, as the guardian of future generations, as the representative of Laxmi Devi - Kalavati, etc.
There can no room for neglecting responsibility on either side of the relationship(s). Neglect of any of the above will give cause for disqualification, and such disqualification allows material concepts of exploitation to enter. Disciples become cheated, and mislead; wives become mistreated and misused; children become neglected defiled and abused. The result, the entire society suffers. There is no direction from guru; no security in the family; and unwanted progeny in the world.
Therefore the words of this verse NEED to be taken thoughtfully, and aspired after with great care and attention. Then all success will be achieved by the disciple, the 'guru'; the husband and the wife, and their loving, cared for children.
Our positive and conscious interactive dependency is mentioned;
"In the Markandeya purana it is said that in the intestine of the mother
the umbilical cord, which is known as 'apyayani', joins the mother to the
abdomen of the child, and through this passage the child within the womb
accepts the mother's assimilated foodstuff. In this way the child is fed
by the mother's intestine within the womb and grows from day to day. The
statement of the Markandeya Purana about the child's situation within the
womb is exactly corroborated by modern medical science, and thus the authority
of the Puranas cannot be disproved, as is sometimes attempted by the 'mayavadi'
Since the child depends completely on the assimilated foodstuff of the mother, during pregnancy there are restrictions on the food taken by the mother. Too much salt, chilli, onion and similar food is forbidden for the pregnant mother because the child's body is too delicate and new for him to tolerate such pungent food. Restrictions and precautions to be taken by the pregnant mother, as enunciated in the 'smrti' scriptures of Vedic literature, are very useful. We can understand from the Vedic literature how much care is taken to beget a nice child in society. The 'garbhadhana' ceremony before sexual intercourse was compulsory for persons in the higher grades of society, and it is very scientific. Other processes recommended in the Vedic literature during pregnancy are also very important. To take care of the child is the primary duty of the parents because if such care is taken, society will be filled with good population to maintain the peace and prosperity of the society, country and human race (Srimad-Bhagavatam Canto 3:31:5. Purport).
This is why I have included even the preparation for such events, the mood, the consciousness of the participants, as well as the ceremonies. Everything must be very sattwik, in the mode of goodness. Excess of passion and ignorance will spoil the mood and certainly the result.
"An act is never looked upon with indulgence for
the simple reason that it is authorised by the science, because it ought
to be remembered that it is the intention of the science that the rules
which it contains should be acted upon in particular cases. After reading
and considering the works of Babhravya and other ancient authors, and thinking
over the meaning of the rules given by them, the Kaama Sutra was composed,
according to the precepts of Holy Writ, for the benefit of the world, Vatsyayana,
while leading the life of a religious student, and wholly engaged in the
contemplation of the Deity."
"This work is not intended to be used merely as an instrument for satisfying our desires. A person, acquainted with the true principles of this science, and who preserves 'Dharma', 'Artha' and 'Kaama', and has regard for the practices of the people, is sure to obtain the mastery over his senses."
"In short, an intelligent and prudent person, attending to 'Dharma' and 'Artha', and attending to 'Kaama' also, without becoming the slave of his passions, obtains success in everything that he may undertake"(Vatsyayana, Kaama Sutra, final words to part Aupamishadika, Anunga Runga part 7 ch 2.).
* To set a nice and conducive atmosphere shastra suggests what to do, "......The wife should be decorated with ornaments, scents and other attractive features, fine red silk sari - the house should be clean, decorated with flowers, festoons, devotional music, incense, sattvic things, flower garlands, tilak, one's favourite things etc." (Srimad Bhagavatam 3:23:11.)
"And woman, they require also ornament. It is psychology. Manu-samhita, it has been recommended that 'If you want to keep satisfied your wife, then you must give her good food, good sari and good ornament.' This is the system. Therefore during marriage time, the girl is given by the father according to his means, as many saris, nice saris, beautiful costly saris, and as much as possible, golden ornaments. And those who are very rich, they, still in India, they give jewelleries, means diamonds, pearls, sapphire, according to means. Those who are richer class, they don't touch gold. They must give jewellery. This is the system"(A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, 16th May 1973. Srimad-Bhagavatam Lecture).
"Prabhupada: Every marriage, the father must give at least
fifty tolas. I was not a rich man. Still I had to give to my daughter fifty
tolas of gold during marriage. Fifty tolas. Two and a half tolas makes
one ounce. So what is the value of fifty tolas?
Karandhara: Twenty-five ounces? Right now that's worth about two thousand, three hundred dollars.
Prabhupada: Just see. So that is her stock. Stri-dhana. The husband cannot touch. Then it is criminal. So in case of need, she can convert the ornaments into money. Sometimes there is disagreement with the husband. So she has got some stock. The father gives some ornaments. The father-in-law gives some ornament. The relatives also, during marriage, they present some ornaments. So if he, if she gets hundred tolas of gold, that means at least five hundred...?
Karandhara: Almost five thousand.
Prabhupada: Oh, five thousand dollars. She has got some assets. That is called stri-dhana. Stri-dhana means 'woman's property.' Nobody can touch it. Only, according to Manu-samhita law, stri-dhana... Now they are changing. Stri-dhana, the son cannot touch, the husband cannot touch. Nobody can touch. But, after her death, the daughters will share that money. Because formerly, the daughters could not get share of the father's estate. Only the dowry which is given by the father at the time of her marriage. That much. But she could not claim any estate share. Therefore at the time of marriage, the dowry by ornaments, saris. Hundred pieces of sari. If one is rich man. All Benarsee sari, costly. And woman's nature is that if she gets good ornaments, saris, good food, she's satisfied. She doesn't want anything. She'll never become faithless to her husband. So these things are disappearing. Now rich man, rich man's wife, no ornament. (indistinct). Only the widows, they were without ornaments. Any woman who has got husband must have ornaments. Otherwise, insult. So individual liberty, individual prosperity, everything is disappearing"(A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, April 30, 1973 Morning Walk. LA)
13/. Women and
"According to Canon Law all the fixed assets of the family, which in agrarian terms were the house and land, together with the domestic animals belonged to the menfolk. All the movable property of the house which consisted in furniture and vessels were the property of the womenfolk. Women could not inherit fixed assets because this would mean that the property would pass out of the hands of the patriarchal family, either through their husbands or their daughters. Thus destroying dynasties. So at the time of marriage, the daughters are given whatever share of the movable property they would normally inherit at death of the mother Whereas sons could only inherit after the death of their fathers."
"We can see that although the legal status of women in ancient India, and today is not an ideal one, they certainly were entitled by Canon Law to a better deal than they actually got in practice. If only all Hindu women throughout the world today could be treated as enjoined by the dharma Shastras, the society would be much improved."(Veda Vani, October 1994. page 3.) This is also confirmed in the 'Vivaha' ceremony, 'Saptapadi Gaman' section.
Marriage is not a distasteful, disgusting thing as is
portrayed in some media controlled, emotional/sensationalistic cultures,
or by fanatical narrow minded sannyasis (monks) many of whom would be more
beneficial to society if they were honest enough to get married, and face
up to their material desires instead of taking their frustrations out on
the household community, or use it merely as a source of income.
Certain things have to be made clear. The nature of mundane householder life and the nature of spiritually orientated householders. The two are as different as earth, and sweet-rice. True there is no doubt in any of our minds that both have their origins in the earth and on examination many of the base elemental properties are found in both. However, and this is important, there is an integral difference found in the two and that is their practically applied usage. The mundane householder is absorbed in how they will gain their enjoyment, and plan for further enjoyment. But the devout householder, even though they appear to be engaged in similar activities, working to maintain family etc., their thought are absorbed in how this activity will facilitate the on going development construction and functionability of their spiritual life. In this way, in their marriage, their relationship, their family and this way only, as Grihasthas a deeply religious and purifying celebration, for both parties, husband and wife can be achieved.
Garuda Purana (1:64:6.) "A real wife is like a minister for the personal affairs of her husband; a friend in executing his tasks; in affectionate dealings she is like his mother and in his bed she is like a courtesan to him. Such a wife is auspicious."
14/. The Time for
We have mentioned briefly the season which is best. But in specific detail there is also a "correct time" of the month that is to be pursued by those who want to plan for their family. The choosing of the time is called 'Rtu Dinam'. This is the expression that is used to denote the sixteen day period from the first day of the menstrual cycle. As we have mentioned the purpose of sex-life is to bring into the world good progeny, so to do this one is aided by knowing according to the functions of the body, how and when to try to conceive.
With some people there is still a tendency to be under
the impression that an auspicious day in this context means the anniversary
of one of the Lord's wonderful pastimes and or expansions appearance day,
the 'Ekadasi tithi', etc. In this context nothing could be further from
the truth. 'Vijay Dasami', the killing of the demon Ravana is certainly
a most auspicious event, for the devotee, as is Lord Balaram's Rasayatra
or 'Janamasthami', spiritually they may have equal significance, potency
etc., but their flavour is not completely the same in every regard, what
to speak for conception. These days are specifically meant for absorption
in 'Krishna katha', and not in sex life.
The same goes for the Holy 'Dhamas'. If one is not already living there, one should not purposely go out of one's way to go to Sridham Mayapur, or Sri Vrindavan Dham thinking that to conceive a child there will necessarily improve the child's options in life.
Best when in the Holy Dham's to try as much as possible to be absorbed directly in hearing and chanting rather than sex, even if according to religious principles.
It is definitely true to say that the auspiciousness of the actual 'varam' (day, monday, wednesday, etc), or 'tithi' ('ekadasi, dwadasi - the phase of the moon) that the Lord appeared under, or enacted a pastime under, as the case may be, may have the similar intent from the overall picture, to protect the devotees and annihilate the demons (Bhagavad Gita. 4:8. 'paritranaya sadhunam'....), but the variety of flavours or natures of each of the days, stellar constellations, phases of the moon, carry their individual flavour, and do not act in the same way, just as the Lord's pastime's are also different.
Best is to check with an astrologer, or if one is a little competent in these matters consult a current almanac and check for the best days listed for 'garbhadanam'.
Having found a list of possible good days according to the 'panjika' (almanac), choose an auspicious day which falls in time when the female partner (wife) is ovulating and so is fertile. This is after the menstrual period. Women differ usually after the period and between fifteen days, but may differ according to individuals (max 15-16 days from start of period.)
It is stated that sexual union during the odd days of the menstrual cycle will tend to produce a female body in the child, whereas union performed on an even dhinam will bring forth a male body. So those purified souls who wish to beget a 'putra' (a child, usually a son who can liberate one from the hell known as 'Pu') should try to conceive on the even days ('dhinam') of this cycle.
The first four days should be avoided as it will lead to serious evil or unwanted effects, as the whole physiological and nervous system of the woman would be in a state of tension owing to the almost continuous discharge of blood. Copulation on the 5th day tends to give rise to a daughter. In general, sexual union on odd days invokes the female body development, or indicates birth of female children. While intercourse performed on even days, has a higher tendency to the birth of male children, this is what is indicated in the Muhurtha shastra (books on Time Placement Astrology). In the first instance, sexual union is highly recommended on the 6th days of the menses as it is supposed to ensure not only happiness to the couple but also the birth of a dutiful and intelligent son (A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupad, January 18th 1969. Letter to Syama Dasi. & Bhagavad Gita Lecture, April 5th 1971., & Lecture, July 1st., 1972.).
For your guidance.
The calendar, you will notice has a section on it that mentions nakshatras in English this is translated as constellations. So the 'nakshatras' of Sravana, Rohini, Anuradha, Swati, Revati, Moola, Uttara, Uttarashadha, Uttarabhadra, and Satabhishakam are highly favourable for nuptials rites. Pushyami, Dhanistha, Mrigasira, Aswini, Chitta, Punarvasu are ordinary thus not generally bothered with. The rest of the constellations are to be rejected.
Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are auspicious days while Saturday, Tuesday and Sunday should not be considered at all. Saturday is ruled by Saturn and has the tendency to invoke dullards, slow, with many obstacles in their lives. Tuesday is ruled by fiery Mars, and often invokes angry, violent personalities. Sunday is considered 'Nisphal' or useless, fruitless, good for chanting, feasting, relaxing, etc., and if conception takes place on this day tends to invoke those of the same nature.
All tithis, or lunar days except the 4th, 8th, 9th, 14th, full moon and new moon are good. The favourable lagnas, or zodiac signs are Taurus to Libra and Pisces. The birth star ('Janma Nakshatra'), of the individuals, the 10th star ('Anu Janma') from that 'janma nakshatra' and the 19th star ('Thri Janma') should also be avoided.
At the time of nuptials, the 8th house should be occupied by no planet. Subject to this proviso, even Sagittarius and Aquarius lagnas may be selected as auspicious.
"'Nishekam' is the word used to denote the first sexual union between husband and wife. For this a day of beneficent planetary influence must be selected according to the Shastras. The bed chamber should be in a convenient place decorated and kept fragrant with sandal, flowers, etc, and provided with water taken from sacred rivers. Above all, there should be nothing to disturb the peace of mind of the couple" (Kalaprakashika)
If none of the above meant a thing, it's alright, don't freak out, seek out. Find your local VEDIC astrologer (not something in the newspaper).
And The Family:
In Vedic life the overall well being is very much looked toward. They understood, probably more than we in this age can estimate the need for avoiding bringing into the world persons that could and probably would cause negative effects to the harmony and stability of society some time in the future.
We see the results of it today. "We were the war children born 1945. When all the soldiers came marching home from war, with love looks in their eye's"(Van Morrison, Wild Children. 1973.) World wide there was a 'baby boom'. And even countries like New Zealand the government were encouraging the people to procreate, giving various incentives. But alas there wasn't much real understanding of what was happening, what to speak of thought for the future, of how they would grow up what they would do, and how many would become dependent on the state.
"In ancient Hindu society the joint family system was strongly entrenched and it was the best insurance for the helpless (dependents) and afflicted members of society; Kautiliya accepted this system and enforced the law according to which the head of the family was to look after the dependents. A capable person neglecting to maintain his or her child, minor brothers or sisters, widowed girls and unmarried daughters was fined. Similarly any person embracing asceticism without making provisions for his family was punished."(B.P.Sinha, 1919. Kautiliya's Artha Shastra, pg 9-10.).
In Vedic times the prevalent system was that of the joint family. The family consisted of more than one generation living under one roof. ..........A father had to take care of the minor children, aged parents, and widows in the family and arrange for the marriage of daughters."(B.P.Sinha, 1919. Kautiliya's Artha Shastra, pg 145-146.). It was a very responsible and wholistic age to live in with social protective mechanisms in place to assist everyone as individuals personally developed at various stages of their lives.
Abortion, the clinical word for murdering the child in
the womb was rarely heard of what to speak of practiced. Due to irresponsibility
of the men to protect the women, and the women folk to be chaste and faithful
abortion has risen to alarming figures in some parts of the world.
Some say it is the woman's rite to choose! To some degree we all have make choices in life. I humbly suggest however that the consequences be balanced against the choice.
It is not merely a piece of 'fetal tissue', a clinical
term used to depersonalise the child trust-up in the womb. In actuality
there is a soul present, without which its tiny body would not grow. This
person, who is presently taking a small body of a young and developing
child, growing since the time of conception, if left his/her course will
mature until it is naturally equipped and strong enough to come out of
its protected environment in the womb, and to undergo what we know as birth.
I saw some graffiti written up in the form of a sign post whilst travelling near Pukekohe, New Zealand. It read:-
We are by no means trying to go back in time, but we are
humble enough to realise the worth and wealth that is the legacy of the
human race, and by looking seriously at the methods, reasons, and implementations
of the ancients, we are recognising humbly that the wheel has been invented,
and we are giving due credit to the holder of the patent, and are looking
for guidance as to how the wheel functions, and how far we can practically
apply its use today. No cheats can perpetually hide their deception.
My opinion is that by giving due recognition to those who can teach us how systems work, instead of arrogantly experimenting and making unnecessary mistakes, we are learning by age approved scientific methods, that can be optimised in today's world by those wishing to do so, mentorship.
16/. Sacred Marriage
And The Meaning Of Compatibility:
Sacred marriage and family being the back bone of society we are taking great care to get it right. Compatibility, and lasting relationships give a stability to individuals as well as to families. So if by reading this paper it helps you in your relationship, that in turn creates a peaceful situation by which you can both individually and as a family develop you Krishna consciousness, then it has been a success.
Some years ago I sat for many long hours with a Muhurtha
Astrological Pandit, who explained to me the methodology as to how one
evaluates whether compatibility is feasible or not.
He is a Sri Lankan of Tamilian Stock, trained by the Raman School of astrology in Bombay. Although he is very old now and his health is failing now after his third heart attack, he still travels to Malaysia and Hawaii to lecture and teach Vedic (sidereal) astrology. Many people go to him for advice on when to do various things in their life. I first encountered him during the 1980's in Melbourne, Australia when he visited the Hare Krishna Temple by the South Melbourne Beach, that I was the head priest of, at that time.
Over the following years we became quite close, and he guided me in various astrological dealings that I had no knowledge of at that time. We still often communicate, me writing letters, him sending messages over on audio tape. He always refers to me as, ".....my dear friend .......", and my spiritual name Jaya Tirtha Charan dasa. But I don't really know if he knows how much he has helped me in understanding this subject.
17/. Having The Bond:
"Unless there is 'Rnanubandha', bond of 'karma' of previous life binding two souls in holy wedlock, there cannot be true marriage. On the other hand, if the ''karmik' bond between two persons (partners) is not sufficiently strong and lasting, it might break in the middle. To get over such hurdles and troubles, parents of girls and boys seek the help of learned and devoted astrologers to know about the compatibility of the two horoscopes in respect of 'gana', 'dina', and others, ten or twelve in all, as well as health, longevity, issue, financial position etc."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 118.)
As you read on through this paper you will see various scores ('kutas'). The units of the 'kutas' are all explained herein. It is not that they are a competitive score out of a thousand or hundred or ten, simply an evaluation. The overall score is out of 100 (ie., 100%). Please bear in mind that of this system of scoring Lord Siva and His faithful and chaste wife Parvati Devi only got 92. So we will see how you go. The meanings or totals for the final result print out on our synastry (compatibility) which have been evaluated in accordance with the following guidelines from Kalaprakashika chapter 13 and Muhurtha Thathwa supplementary texts of Arthava Veda. It is considered that anything 26 and above is compatible, but having said that immediately it comes to mind that there will be 74 % of the dealings of that couple that will be fraught with challenges. So as a further guide it is suggested that any combination 50 and above is seriously worth looking at, as a means of working toward harmony. However, and take it from experience of one whose marriage is 76% that even then it can be a challenge (having 24% incompatibilities to work out, or work through).
Chapter 18/. Defining Compatibility:
1. Dhina (Dinam) Kuta. - Indicates one's fortune, or misfortune brought about by, or according to the match. Count the constellations of the boy from that of the girl and divide the number by 9. If the remainder is 2, 4, 6, 8 or 0 it is good. The number of the units of compatibility assigned to this Kuta is 3 in case agreement is found.
An Example :- The constellation of the boy (Mrgasira in Taurus) counted from that of the girl (Dhanistha in Makara) gives 10. This is divided by 9 leaving a remainder of 1 and hence there is no agreement, and no units of strength are scored on this account.
Another understanding of Dina Agreement is as follows:
"The natal asterism is called Janma-Nakshatra, the 10th is termed Karma-Nakshatra and the 19th Aadhana. A groom whose star is the 3rd (vipat), 5th (pratyak) or 7th (Vadha) from the bride's star, is not accepted for alliance. If it be the 3rd from the 10th, Karma, star of the bride, only its first quarter should be shunned, and not the other quarter. Similarly in the case of the 5th star the 4th quarter alone is bad, and other quarters are all right. In the case of Vadha (7th) star the 3rd quater is bad, other quarters may be accepted. In te case of the girl's Aadhana (19th) star, only the first, fourth and third quarters respectively are to be rejected, especially when the particular quater or Navamsha belongs to a malefic. For example, in star Aswini, the first quater belongs to a malefic - a Papamsha - because it is owned by Mars. It is exceedingly bad to have a groom born in the 3rd or 7th star from the bride's. The 5th star, however is not that bad. Should the groom's birth happen in the 88th Amsha from the bride's Amsha of natal star, it would be extremely harmful. Similar is one born in the 108th Amsha, i.e. the last quater of the previous star. The good result of this agreement is long life."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 137.)
"According to astrological calculation, a person is classified
according to whether he belongs to the godly or demoniac quality. In that
way the spouse was selected. A girl of godly quality should be handed over
to a boy of godly quality. A girl of demoniac quality should be handed
over to a boy of demoniac quality. Then they will be happy. But if the
girl is demoniac and the boy godly, then the combination is incompatible;
they cannot be happy in such a marriage. At the present moment, because
boys and girls are not married according to quality and character, most
marriages are unhappy, and there is divorce"(A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada.
Srimad Bhagavatam 3:24:15., purport., & Srimad Bhagavatam 9:18:23.
However, a more complete view of the picture and detail is explained in Muhurtha Tattwa shastra as follows:
A Deva can marry a Deva, a Manusha can marry a Manusha, and a Rakshasa can marry a Rakshasa. Another point is that a Manusha or Deva man should not try to marry a Rakshasa girl unless there are neutralising factors. But marriage between a Rakshasa man and a Deva or Manusha girl is all right. If marriage is performed between prohibited Ganas there will be constant quarrels and disharmony, the couple would then welcome an opportunity for extra marital relations, separation and/or divorce.
The following Ganas are Deva Ganam:- Punarvasu, Pushyami, Swati, Hasta, Sravana, Revathi, Anuradha, Mrigasira, and Aswini.
Manusha Ganams are:- Rohini, Purva, Purvashadha, Purvabhadrapada, Bharani, Ardra, Uttara Phalguni, Uttarashadha, Uttarabhadrapada.
Rakshasa Ganas are:- Krittika, Aslesha, Magha, Chitra, Vishakha, Jyestha, Mula, Dhanistha, Satabhisakam.
As a neutralising factor for Ganas often it is said that if the nakshatra of the bride is beyond the 14th from that of the grooms the evil influences may be nullified and thus it is all right to wed.
There is no score but see if it is there. Example:- Mrgasira (nakshatra of the boy) is the 10th from Dhanistha (the girls nakshatra). This is a good combination.
Another version of the same thing that I found is as follows:
"Count from the bride's star to the groom's asterism. If it be 4th, 7th, or 10th in any round it would be beneficial to the groom. Generally the groom's star is expected to be distant from the bride's. On the other hand, if the bride's star be the 4th from the groom's star, it should be termed Mahendra. If it be the 7th from the boy's Nakshatra, it would be called Upendra. The results of these two Yogas are in order (1) Increase of wealth and corn; and (2) birth of sons and daughters. The reader may note here that according to the Dina-type of agreement the 7th star is to be rejected, whereas according to the Mahendra it is acceptable. It shouldn't, however, be construed that the authorities make contradictory statements. As the contexts are different, there is no contradiction. For, in the 2nd and 3rd rounds the 7th star becomes the 6th and the 25th, which brings about what is called Stri-dirgha and so they reduce the flow more and more."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 138.)
Example:- Mrgasira is beyond 9 nakshatras from Dhanistha, so agreement is there.
Exception:- This is may be overlooked if the Rasi Kuta and Graha Maitri obtain the required result.
Other authorities say that the distance should be far removed, they suggest 15 nakshatras. the result of which is very good. This is according to the Madhaviya.(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 138.)
Each person is influenced to some degree by the forces of their bahyophadi, external conditions. Someone being born under the influence of the Simha (Leo) will have their characteristics and tendencies like that of a lion, while another say born in Aries will be of a more timid and mild nature. If both partners have male nakshatras there will be many fights for supremacy, "who will wear the trousers." If the male is allowed to take the male role and the female the female role natural harmony is found which does not interfere with their seeking the higher goals of life. One can imagine though the problems if the male is dominated by the female, checked on, always corrected, not trusted, embarrassed in public, treated like a child.............!
Therefore Yoni Kuta takes into account these aspect of marriage and indicates by astrology what externals one will bear, sexual urge, sexual compatibility, size of copulatory organs and their compatibility and so on. The nakshatras are as follows:-
CLASS OF YONI
1. ASWINI SATABHISAKAM ? HORSE
2. BHARANI * REVATHI # ELEPHANT
3. PUSYAMI KRITTIKA # SHEEP
4. ROHINI MRGASIRA ? SERPENT
5. MULA ? ARDRA DOG
6. ASLESHA * PUNAVASU # CAT
7. MAGHA * PURVAPHALGUNI RAT
8. UTTARAPHALGUNI * UTTARBHADRAPADA # COW
9. SWATI * HASTA BUFFALO
10. VISAKHA * CITRA TIGER
11. JYESTHA * ANURADHA HARE
12. PURVASHADHA * SRAVANA MONKEY
13.PURVABHADRAPADA DHANISTHA LION
14. UTTARASHADHA * MONGOOSE
* In many panjikas (almanacs) it will say
that these nakshatras are FEMALE, but still they have the copulatory natures
of their Yoni. In this regard refer to result of the computer print out
for overall the compatibility.
? Denotes that in some panjikas these nakshatras are listed as HERMAPHRODITE, but still the Yoni has effect. Some maybe more male some more female as in the case of what are now termed "fags and dykes."
# In some panjikas indicates a MALE nakshatra.
Again to determine these nakshatras their natures are to be looked at. Some Males are very masculine, some are masculine with a little effeminate streak, some Females are very Feminine whereas others are a little like a Male. Even among Hermaphrodites some are Male orientated while others are more Female. Without going into trying quite inappropriately attempt to analyse any individual's karma, and its astrological reasons as being the cause of such situations as homosexuality here we will leave it with the partial conclusion drawn, that as being pretty much obvious. Needless to say that's where these "blends" in society have their influence coming from.
In the Jyotish and Muhurtha shastra, as well as Vatsyayana's Kama Sutra, it is stated that marriage between the same class of yoni of male and female brings great happiness, for it is natural harmony. Compatibility of male and female among friendly yonis, with both having female nakshatras, will at least bring a fair amount of harmony and agreement. However in marriage between both male nakshatras there will always be fighting even if of the same yoni, as they will both want to wear the dhoti so to speak. If incompatible yonis or nakshatras are combined each will live a life of hell, thus IT SHOULD NOT BE EVEN THOUGHT OF.
"Same star for both: If the boy and the girl should have the same natal star among the following 12 stars viz., Jyeshtha, Mula, Purva Ashada, Pushya, Ashlesha, Magha, Hastha, Rohini, Dhanishtha, Shatabhishakam, Ardra and Bharani, the result would be untoward. The rest are good."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 135-136.)
The following pairs are to be avoided:-
COW and TIGER, ELEPHANT and LION, HORSE and BUFFALO, DOG and HARE, SERPENT and MONGOOSE, MONKEY and GOAT, CAT and RAT, as they are their natural prey, thus marriage would be torment. All other naturally hostile pairs should be avoided, irrespective of how much the sexual impulse is pushing to unite.
(In the book there is a intricate chart that didn't come out here)
"If the girl's sign be at the fag end of Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces and the boy's sign, the very next Rashi, the result would be utter penury."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 136.)
In regard to 'Yoni Agreement' the following has been written
by M. Ramakrishna Bhat.
"The word Yoni means the source or birth-place. Both the signs and stars have their distinctive Yonis. They are four in number as (1) Bird, (2) Reptile, (3) Animal, and (4) Human.
(1) Second half of Capricorn, and Pisces belong to the bird Yoni.
(2) Cancer and Scorpio are of reptile Yoni.
(3) Aries, Taurus, Leo and first half of Capricorn are animal source.
(4) Gemini, Virgo, Libra Sagittarius (first half) and Aquarius are of human origin.
If the Yonis of the two (the couple) are the same, it
is very god. If one is animal and the other human, it is moderate. One
of animal Yoni should not be joined with the other of reptile or bird Yoni.
Similarly one of human origin should not be joined with reptile or bird
A male whose natal sign happens to be in the visible half of the girl's natal sign (not the lagna), the alliance will be very good. In case the boy's lunar sign happens to be the 6th from the girl's lunar Rashi, it is moderate. Even the 4th sign from the girl's Rashi would be good for alliance, provided there is agreement in respect of Vashyam".(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 136.)
Groom's Star Bride's Star Effect
Male Female Very Good
Male Eunuch Very Good
Female Female Moderate
Male Male Harmful
Female Male Harmful
Female Eunuch Very Bad
Eunuch Male Unacceptable
Eunuch Female Moderate
Eunuch Eunuch Very Bad
(M.Ramakrishna Bhat. essentials of Horary Astrology. page 139-140.)
The number of units for Rasi Kuta is 7 (seven).
Exception:- When both the Rasis are owned by one planet or if the lords of the two Rasis happen to be friends, then any malefic effects attributed to the inauspicious placement of any planets is cancelled out.
According to Madhvacarya, the following effects of the
relative positions of the two signs (of the bride and the groom) that are
(i) If the man's Rashi be II from the brides - loss of wealth.
(ii) If the man's Rashi be V from the brides - loss of progeny.
(iii) If the man's Rashi be VI from the brides - sorrow, disease, troubles, and separation.
(iv) If the man's Rashi be III from the brides - grief.
(v) If the man's Rashi be IV from the brides - enmity.
(vi) If the man's Rashi be VI or VIII from the brides - break of marriage.
However if the lord of the signs of the two be one and the same, or if the two lords be mutual friends, it is not to be rejected.
Similarly, if there be agreement in respect of Vashya
and Vedha, the last flow could be ignored.
the exception to Dvidvadasha (2nd and 12th) and trines: These two kinds of relationships between the natal signs of male and female are generally highly injurious in spite of the man's star being Maitra (8th) from that of the bride. According to Brhaspati a male born in the 7th sign from that of the bride (Sama-Saptama) is exceptionally good in spite of the lords of the two signs being mutually inimical."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 134-135.)
Sun Moon, Mars, Jupiter Mercury Saturn, Venus
the Moon Sun, Mercury Mars, Jupiter, Venus, Saturn
Mars Sun, Moon, Jupiter Venus, Saturn Mercury
Mercury Sun, Venus Mars, Jupiter, Saturn Moon
Jupiter Sun, Moon, Mars Saturn Mercury, Venus
Venus Mercury, Saturn Mars, Jupiter Sun, Moon
Saturn Mercury, Venus Jupiter Sun, Moon, Mars
According to the muhurtha shastra it is not the temporary
dispositions based on karma that the individual is going through that is
to be taken into consideration, it is the birth constellation and not the
birth chart as a whole. This many people misunderstand. Some think that
to judge to see if they both like to watch the same kind of movies, .....have
the same music in common or .....follow the same football team will bring
about compatibility. They seem to think that the same kind of temporary,
transitory sensual satisfaction is what is required. "Oh we are compatible,
because she likes to play squash and so do I."
Then never stop playing squash, or your relationship will end abruptly. But one day it will if that is the basis. "Oh I like tall men," one day he'll be bent double then what? "Oh man she's so beautiful," but believe me it won't last two or three children later and everything changes. "Oh he's so suave," but now he's an irritable, smelly old man. Unfortunately this is the scourge of the sense enjoyers, everything is upside down, the relationship is only based on what I like now, with no thought of the future.
Even we have seen that some persons had made marriage compatibility data bases before, but looking at their contents they had collected much information, but most of it was not relevant to marriage. Probably buying a car, a new jacket, or a piece of furniture would be alright, or something of that nature. As mostly the questions were all based not on the natures of the persons that we have at hand, rather it was based on inconsequential things, what those individuals had as their objects of sensual enjoyment. "What do I like, what do I want?" According to the philosophy of the Vaishnavas those externals or bahyopadhis are of a temporary nature, which are always changing. So if you want to buy a shirt it's all very important, the colour the size etc., what fits now, but for marriage we want to see natures and the phases that persons are due to go through. This generally will be very difficult to analyse without the use of Vedic astrology.
In Vedic or devotee circles we want know primarily if
the coming together of these two souls will be conducive to their spiritual
development, or not, isn't it? Some who are more inclined to tasting the
goods before purchase, and who are not so patient as to wait for the relationship
to mature like to have trial periods of association. In all honesty it
is not a substantial method to work with as we have seen, for such trials
have made many errs.
Previously in Vedic times, when arranged marriages were organised properly the couple were brought together each willing with an open mind and heart, knowing that to be there together this far many calculations, and great endeavour had been ensured to protect their, and their society's mutual interests. There is a science involved here, and guidelines are necessary to be followed. To circumvent proven fact, to either speed things up, or get what one likes without endeavour is not possible. Anything that is worth anything is worth working for, nothing comes cheep. When things do come cheaply, generally it doesn't last long.
I have seen my children do the same thing with their toys. They get something that they think will answer all their dreams, but later we find it broken and discarded somewhere and they're looking around again. It's very difficult to live like this, especially in the long term. Simply because all of one's perception is based on the mind, it's accepting (sankalpa) and rejecting (vikalpa). And on the basis of that mentality everyone's getting caught up thinking it's important for the couple to associate to see if they are compatible using the mind and senses to see the future. They try this one, then that one, and even many find that due to the present situations of their karma they are very "happy". However when that present karma passes, as it often does, passing through different Maha Dasas (planetary periods), they'll look around for another to bring satisfaction of temporary happiness.
We try to always emphasise the shastra, scripture, Shruti pramanam for after all how much can we perceive? Even with our logic and reasoning what can we deduct, sometimes we're wrong also, but when shastra speaks we can confidently rest assured. Then all that is require is some tolerance and application of Krishna consciousness. Srila Prabhupada gives a nice example that when a boy and girl are brought together in wedlock, it is not that immediately the girl becomes with child. No things take time. The same is there in sacred marriage, let it be known that they are compatible, become married and then develop a nice relationship. Don't expect to know each other right from day one. Great expectations falling short cause problems also. Rather than the girl expecting the boy to be like Kardama Muni, the ideal husband, and he expecting the girl to be like Devahuti, the ideal wife, simply come together and try to serve the Lord in a nice way and get to know each other gradually. If he is bijaman, potent and she is fertile then all will be achieved in due course. Some of the nicest tapestries have begun from just having the right materials and good intent to try to give each other the chance to let something happen, and nurture each other.
Therefore also in Vaishnava agama and tantra, which deal
with as we have stated, nature rather than karma we are more interested
in seeing a persons potential, propensity, any problems, and how to overcome
them. Rather than like the fruitive workers, if he will be rich or poor,
how much he will enjoy, etc.
I have had persons coming to me asking for charts for all kinds of reasons, but I emphasise that muhurtha is meant for assisting in the development of your, not just your, our spiritual lives. Unlike mundane astrology muhurtha is not based on intuition, as we have stated it is based only and firmly in shastra, no need of speculative readings, just read.
When the lords of the Janma Rasis of the bride and bridegroom are friends, the Rasi Kuta is said to obtain full strength. When one is a friend and the other is neutral, it is passable or all right, and when both are neutral, Rasi Kuta is considered very ordinary. When both are enemies, Rasi Kuta does not exist.
Exception:- Even when there is no friendship between the Janma Rasi lords of the bride and groom, Rasi Kuta can be obtained by friendships of the planets on the Navamsas occupied by the Moon.
The number of units for this Kuta is 5 (five).
Example :- In our illustration, the Janma Rasi lords are Venus and Saturn. Both are friends. Therefore the Rasi Kuta is complete. Supposing the bride and bride-groom are born in Makha 2 (Leo) and Satabhisha 2 (Saturn). The lords will be the Sun and Saturn respectively and they are not friends. In such a case if the Navamsa relationship is considered, then the Moon will be in Taurus (Venus) and Capricorn (Saturn) respectively. Venus and Saturn are friends and therefore the match is permissible. One will have to be very careful in the assessment of these factors and on superficial grounds no horoscope should be rejected as unsuitable or unfortunate.
Example:- In our illustration, neither the boy's nor the girl's horoscope is subject to the control of the other.
To Aries - Leo and Scorpio are Vasya or Docile.
To Taurus - Cancer and Libra....
To Gemini - Virgo......
To Cancer - Scorpio, and Sagittarius......
To Leo - Libra......
To Virgo - Gemini and Pisces.........
To Libra - Virgo and Capricorn..........
To Scorpio - Cancer.......
To Sagittarius - Pisces........
To Capricorn - Aries and Aquarius.......
To Aquarius - Aries........
To Pisces - Capricorn........
"Should the male's natal sign (lunar) be vasya (docile) to the female's lunar sign, the alliance would lead to a happy conjugal life. In the list given above some Rashis are mutually vasya, not all; e.g. Gemini are mutually docile, while Leo and Libra are not mutually so. Though Sagittarius and Pisces are owned by one and the same planet, yet there is no mutual Vayshyatva (docility) between the two signs. In judging compatibility of the two charts, you have to start also from the boy's Rashi, nakshatra etc. From that point of view if the girl's Rashi be Vashya to the boy's sign, it should be considered as a point of agreement."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 137.)
Padarajju - Aswini,
Aslesha, Makha, Jyestha, Mula, Revati.
Katirajju - Bharani, Pushyami, Purva, Anuradha, Poorvashadha, Uttarabhadra.
Nabhi or Udararajju - Krittika, Punarvasu, Uttara, Visakha, Uttarashadha, Poovabhadra.
Kantarajju - Rohini, Aridra, Hasta, Swati, Sravana, and Satabhisha.
Sirorajju - Dhanistha, Chitta and Mrigasira.
The Janma Nakshatras of the couple should not fall in the same Rajju. If they fall in Sira (head) husband's death is likely; if in Kantha (neck) the wife may die; if in Udara (stomach) the children may die; if in Kati (waist) poverty may ensue; and if in Pada (foot) the couple may be always wandering. Hence, it is desirable that the boy and the girl have constellations belonging to different rajjus or groups for safety in household life.
In other places Rajju is referred to as 'Rope Agreement'. the 27 stars are to be arranged in three avenues, going three steps forward and three steps backward continuously as shown in the chart given below:
Star Number Star Number Star Number
6 5 4
7 8 9
12 11 10
13 14 15
18 17 16
19 20 21
24 23 22
25 26 27
Application of this chart to the stars of the bride and groom is considered very important. If the two stars be found in the same avenue, it would be the blemish called Sama-Rajju. So te alliance should not be recommended. If they are found in the central avenue, it would be called Madhyama-Rajju, and extremely harmful."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. essentials of Horary Astrology, pages 148.)
NAKSHATRAS - GENDER-RESULT - NATURE - RULED BY - DIRECTION
M GOOD GENTLE
2 BHARANI F HARM CRUEL YAMARAJ DOWNWARD
3 KRITTIKA M HARM MIXED AGNI DOWNWARD
4 ROHINI M GOOD STEADY BRAHMA UPWARD
5 MRGASIRA H GOOD EXCELLENT MOON FORWARD
6 ARDRA F OK HARSH RUDRA UPWARD
7 PUNARVASU M OK MOVABLE ADITI FORWARD
8 PUSYAMI M GOOD GENTLE GURU UPWARD
9 ASLESHA F MISERY HARSH SARPA (RAHU) DOWNWARD
10 MAGHA F GOOD CRUEL PITRS DOWNWARD
11 PURVA.PH. F OK CRUEL BHAGA (SIVA) DOWNWARD
12 UTT.PHAL. F GOOD STEADY ARYAMAN UPWARD
13 HASTA M GOOD GENTLE SAVITR (SUN) FORWARD
14 CHITRA F GOOD EXCELLENT TVASTR FORWARD
15 SWATI F GOOD MOVABLE VAYU DOWNWARD
16 VISHAKHA F OK MIXED INDRA AND AGNI DOWNWARD
17 ANURADHA M GOOD EXCELLENT MITRA (SUN) FORWARD
18 JYESTHA F OK MIXED SHAKRA (INDRA) FORWARD
19 MULA H GOOD CRUEL NIRRTI DOWNWARD
20 P.ASADHA F OK CRUEL APAH (WATER) DOWNWARD
21 UTT.ASADHA F GOOD STEADY VISVADEVAS UPWARD
22 SRAVAN F GOOD MOVABLE VISNU UPWARD
23 DHANISTHA F GOOD MOVABLE VASANA (INDRA) UPWARD
24 SATABHISAK H OK MOVABLE VARUNA UPWARD
25 P.BHADRA M OK CRUEL AJA (BRAHMA) UPWARD
26 UTT.BHADRA M GOOD STEADY AHIRBUDHNYA UPWARD
27 REVATI M GOOD EXCELLENT PUSAN FORWARD
28 ABHIJIT F OK BRAHMA UPWARD
Aswini and Jyestha; Bharani and Anuradha; Krittika and Visakha; Rohini and Swati; Aridra and Sravana; Punarvasu and Uttarashadha; Pusyami and Poorvashadha; Aslesha and Mula; Makha (Magha) and Revati; Purva and Uttarabhadra; Uttara and Purvabhadra; Hasta and Satabhisha, Mrigasira and Dhanistha. In our example the constellations of the couple (Mrigasira and Dhanistha) belong to the prohibited pair and hence Vedha is found, Vedhakuta is absent.
"Literally this word (Vedha) means piecing or hurting. A particular star is said to be Vedha or pierced by another. Where there is such a Vedha-relationship between two stars, alliance should not be recommended. There are five kinds of Vedha as (1) Kantha-Vedha, (2) Kati-(Uru)-Vedha, (3) Pada-Vedha, (4) Shiro-Vedha and (5) Kukshi-Vedha. They are so called because they hurt or pierce the neck, hips or thighs, feet head and stomach respectively. The 27 stars (nakshatra) are grouped under the five heads as follows:
(1) Kantha-Vedha: Rohini, Ardra, Hasta, Svati, Sravana,
(2)Kati-(Uru)-Vedha: Bharani, Pusya, Purvaphalguni, Anuradha, Purvashadha, Uttarashadha, Uttarabhadrapada.
(3) Pada-Vedha: Aswini, Ashlesha, Magha, Jyestha, Mula, Revati.
(4) Shiro-Vedha: Mrgashirsha, Chitra, Dhanistha.
(5)Kukshi-Vedha: Krttika, Punarvasu, Uttaraphalguni, Vishakha, Uttarashadha, Purvabhadrapada.
The reader may note the symmetry in the allotment of the stars from Aswini to the five limbs (panchanga) in an ascending order from the foot to the head. For the description of deities - the stars represent different deities - is done from the foot to the head.
This Vedha scheme has been mentioned in Electional Astrology in connection with house construction. How to find out which star is hurt on a particular day? See if any plant is posited in any star of any of the five groups. If there be one, treat the whole group as Viddha (pierced), and so none of the stars can be elected for house construction or house warming. similarly, if the stars of the groom and bride occur in the first group, there would be (neck piercing) Vedha leading to death of either partner. If it be in the second group, it would be Kati-Vedha (piercing of the hips or thighs) whose effect is poverty. If in the 3rd group, Pada-Vedha resulting in wandering from place to place, poverty or loss of position. In the 4th group it is Shiro-Vedha resulting in the husband's death. In the last group, Kukshi-Vedha this would bring about destruction of children. Hence the stars of the two ought not to belong to the same group. In the absence of this blemish alliance would be beneficial. This is one way of finding Vedha."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essential of Horary Astrology. pages 145-146.) Seems very similar to the above Rajju doesn't it?
Again some other texts slightly differ in the suggested Varnas. It is a fact that the birth Varna of a person is not all important in regards to spiritual development, habits or work defined in Bhagavad Gita are.
The unit of agreement is 1. (one)
"In addition to the well known four classes viz., priest or Vedic scholars (brahmanas), warriors and administrator (kshatriyas), traders (vaishyas), and workers (shudras), there are two more classes known as Anulomaja (those born of high class fathers and lower class mothers) and Pratilomaja (children born of lower class fathers and higher class mothers). Both these classes of people give rise to innumerable mixed castes. However, we are concerned only with these six classes. Each class has been allotted to certain stars as shown below:
Brahman class: Aswini, Punarvasu, Hasta, Mula and
Kshatriya class: Bharani, Pusya, Citra, Purvashadha, and Uttara Bhadrapada.
Vaishya class: Krttika, Aashlesha, Svati, Utarra Ashadha, and Revati.
Shudra class: Rohini, Magha, Vishakha and Shravan.
Anulomaja class: Mrgashirsha, Purva Phalguni, Anuradha and Dhanistha (Shravistha).
Pratilomaja class: Ardra, Uttara Phalguni, Jyestha and Satabhishakam.
It would be excellent, if the stars of both be of the same class. So also is the marriage that is contracted between a groom born in a star of a higher class and a bride born in an asterism of a lower class. On the other hand, should the bride's star and groom's star belong to a higher and lower class respectively, the result of such an alliance would be inauspicious. This condition of agreement is not absolute. Hence this star-based caste-distinction is not at all considered now a days by astrologers. On the other hand, classes or castes are allotted to the Rashis in comparing horoscopes. They are given below:
Castes of Signs:
(1) Brahmins: Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces.
(2) Kshatriyas: Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius.
(3) Vaishyas: Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn.
(4) Shudras: Gemini, Libra and Aquarius.
Compatibility of horoscopes in respect of Jati is considered on the basis of the lunar signs of the bride and groom. Rules that have been stated for the castes of lunar mansions (stars) should be applied to the Rashis."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 139.)
"It is significantly noted here that Kardama Muni was a brahmana, whereas Emperor Svayambhuva was a Kshatriya. Therefore, intercaste marrigae was current even in those days. The system was that a brahmana could marry the daughter of a kshatriya, but a kshatriya could not mary the daughter of a brahmana. We have evidences from history of the Vedic age that Shukracarya offered his daughter to Maharaj Yayati, but the King had to refuse to mary the daughter of a brahmana; only with the special permission of the brahmana could they marry. Intercaste marriage, therefore, was not prohibited in olden days, many millions of years ago, but there was a regular system of social behaviour"(A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Srimad Bhagavatam 3:21:28., purport.),.....According to the Vedic system, marriages between kshatriyas and kshatriyas or between brahmanas and brahmanas are the general custom. If marriages sometimes take place between different classes, these marriages are of two types, namely anuloma and pratiloma. Anuloma, marriage between a brahmana and the daughter of a kshatriya, is permissible, but pratiloma, marriage between a kshatriya and the daughter of a brahmana, is not generally allowed"(A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Srimad Bhagavatam 9:18:5. purport.) Another example is in the moral maxims of Chanakya Pandit, ".....one may take a good wife from even a lowly family!" thus proving that character and activity in varna is of utmost importance.
Aswini Bharani Krittika
Punarvasu Pushyami Aslesha
Uttara Purva Makha
Hasta Chitta Swati
Jyestha Anuradha Visakha
Mula Poorvashadha Uttarashadha
Satabhisha Dhanistha Sravana
Purvabhadra Uttarabhadra Revati
Aridra Mrigasira Rohini
If the constellation of the boy and the girl fall in different rows, then agreement between the couple will be good. They both should not fall in the middle least there will be many fights, as they are too fiery by nature. Stars of the couple may fall in the first and last line under certain circumstances.
If Nadi Kuta is not present on the basis of the Nakshatras, then the same may be reckoned taking into account the Nakshatra Padas. Thus, the different quarters will be governed by the three humours (Nadis) thus:
Aswini 1 Aswini 2
Bharani 2 Bharani 1 Aswini 4
Bharani 3 Bharani 4 Krittika 1
Krittika 4 Krittika 3 Krittika 2
Rohini 1 Rohini 2 Rohini 3
Beginning from Aswini 1, the counting should be done forwards and backwards in threes, as given above.
The unit ascribed for this Kuta is 8. (eight)
In the example considered above, both the constellations
fall in the middle line and hence Nadi Kuta is completely absent, no score.
Appendix 1 gives a table for measuring the agreement units. In the first
column, longitudinal, the constellations of the bride are given. In the
first horizontal column the boys Nakshatra is given. Take the figure in
the column where the girl's and boys stars intersect. Suppose the boy's
star is Mrigasira 1, the Rasi being Taurus. The girl's star is Satabhishakam
2, Rasi being Kumbha (Aquarius). Running down our eye from Taurus, Mrigasira
2 (horizontal 1st column) to the horizontal line of Satabhishakam 4, Kumbha
we find the figure 26.5 as the total units of agreement.
We have dealt with above fairly exhaustively, the question of marriage adaptability and the importance of the various Kutas or physiological and psychological junctions in the human body and how the consideration of each Kuta would enable us to appreciate the harmony or discord likely to prevail between intending marriage partners.
We shall now give certain contingencies arising by virtue of common Janma Rasi, common birth star and the absence of certain Kutas.
1. The absence of Stree Deerga may be ignored if Rasi Kuta and Graha Maitri are present.
2. If the Rasi of the girl is odd, the 6th and 8th Rasis therefrom are friendly. If the Rasi of the girl is even the 2nd and 12th therefrom become friendly. The problems or evil due to the birth or the bride in a Rakshasa Gana star may be ignored if Janma Rasi being 2nd and 12th, 9th and 5th, or 6th and 8th, the lords of the Rasis are then the same or are mutual friends.
3. Though Graha Maitri is by far the most important it need not be considered if the couple have their Janma Rasis disposed in 1 and 7 from each other.
4. Rajju Kuta need not be considered in case Graha Maitri, Rasi, Dina and Mahendra Kutas are present.
5. The evil due to Nadi Kuta can be ignored subject to
the following conditions:-
a) the Rasi and the Rajju Kuta prevail.
b) the same planet is lord of the Janma Rasis of both the male and the female.
c) the lords of the Janma Rasis of the couple are friends.
In many cases the Janma Rasis of the Janma Nakshatras of the bride and groom would be the same.
Common Janma Rasi:- Views differ as regards results accruing from Janma Rasis being common. According to Sripad Narada Muni common Janma Rasi would be conducive to the couple provided they are born under different constellations, nakshatras. However Garga Muni opines under the above circumstances, the asterism (nakshatra) of the boy should precede that of the girl if the marriage is to prove happy. In case the reverse holds good, Stree Purva, the constellation of the girl precedes that of the boy, the alliance should be rejected. This view is supported by other great sages such as Brhaspati and Brghumuni. To add strength to this direction, presenting another case, the author of Muhurtha Thathwa goes to the extent of saying that in cases of common Janma Rasi provided the man's constellation is preceding the girls, the Kutas or adaptability need not be applied at all.
Common Janma Nakshatra:- This is a further extension of the principle of common Janma Rasi. The Janma Nakshatras of the bride and groom being one and the same are approved in the case of Rohini, Ardra, Magha, Hasta, Visakha, Sravana, Uttarabhadrapada and Revathi. The effect would be ordinary if the common Nakshatras are Aswini, Krittika, Mrigasira, Punarvasu, Pushyami, Purvaphalguni, Uttara, Chitra, Anuradha, Purvashadha and Uttarashadha, Bharani, Aslesha, Swati, Jyestha, Mula, Dhanistha, Shatabhishakam and Purvabhadrapada. So it is generally happening that common Nakshatras are not recommended. But again the overall picture has to be seen.
Here again certain ancient authorities hold that even though the Janma Nakshatras are the same, the evil or problems become nullified if the padas are different. If the Janma Nakshatra belongs to two signs (eg. Krittika) the Pada of the bride should relate to the preceding sign. For example if Krittika is the common Janma Nakshatra the bride should have her Janma Rasi in the month of Mesha and the bridegroom in the month of Vrishabha. If however the common Janma Nakshatra belongs to two signs equally, (eg. Mrigasira and Chitra etc) the sign for the first two quarters should be that of the bridegroom.
The couple should not have the same Janma Rasi, Janma Nakshatra, and Pada. However, in regard to Shatabhishakam, Hasta, Swati, Aswini, Krittika, Purvashadha, Mrigasira and Magha the evil given rise to by virtue of common Janma Rasi, Nakshatra and Pada gets cancelled if the couple are born in the 1st quarter.
Srimad Kalaprakashika shastra gives us an overview in brief on page 76:
"Dhinam, Ganam, Yoni, Rasi and Rajju, are the five chief points in which there should be agreement in the horoscopes of the bride and bridegroom. Of these, Dhinam and Rajju are first in importance. Dhinam is particularly so to the Brahmanas; Ganam to Ksatriyas; Rasi to Vaisyas; and Yoni to Shudras. (It is interesting to note the modes of nature in relation to which caste chooses its importance.)
The total score should be 26 or above to be considered properly compatible, and thus worth giving it a go.
(1) Marichi: Aswini, Pushya, Svati, Abhijit.
(2) Vasishta: Bharani, Ashlesha, Vishakha, Shravan.
(3) Angiras: Krittika, Magha, Anuradha, Dhanistha.
(4) Atri: Rohini, Purvaphalguni, Jyestha, Shatabhishakam.
(5) Pulastya: Mrgashirsha, Uttaraphalguni, Mula, Purva Bhadrapad.
(6) Pulaha: Ardra, Hasta, Purvashadha, Uttarabhadrapad.
(7) Kratu: Punarvasu, Chitra, Uttarashadha, Revati.
It is said that identical gotra of a boy and girl would
lead to calamity. If they belong to different gotras, their union will
lead to happiness, prosperity and progeny. This subject can be looked into
from another angle. If the stars obtained from the longitudes of their
respective lagnas belong to the same gotra or different ones, their effects
would be in order moderate or excellent."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. essentials
of Horary Astrology, pages 141-142.)
Note: This factor of compatibility of horoscopes is not taken into consideration too much these days, unfortunately with the decline in Vedic culture, and pure family lineages.
Prabhupad: Before marriage takes place, one has
to calculate whether they belong to the same family, same disciplic......
Then, if it is the same, the marriage will not take place. Same blood will
not be accepted. Same family means same blood. So throughout the whole
world the same blood is not allowed in marriage.
Tamal Krsna: Yes, that's going on other places in the world too.
Tamal Krsna: all over the world. They say that what will happen...... One thing that will happen is that if there's any...... Of course, this is scientist's explanation. If there is any weakness within the family line - that means bodily weakness, mental weakness, or anything......
Prabhupad: No, even it is not weakness, it will create weakness, same blood. The different blood will create some incentive, different flow of blood. That is scientific. But who cares for that?
Tamal Krsna: Nowadays.......
Prabhupad: The Mohammedans, they accept the same blood. Therefore they are not very intelligent. Throughout the whole world the Mohammedans are not very intelligent.
Tamal Krsna: They marry within their family.
Prabhupad: Yes. And uncles' daughter.
Tamal Krsna: Uncle's daughter?
Prabhupad: Yes. The father and his brother, so his daugther, his son can marry.
Bhavananda: First cousins.
Prabhupad: First cousins, yes.
Jayapataka: There was some case of that in the royalty in France, and they got some bleeding disease from that, hemophilia. If they got cut, then that would never heal. It would only bleed until they died.
Prabhupad: So it is very scientific not to get married to someone of the same blood (Morning Walk conversation 2-9-1976.)
"According to the Vedic system, any family, brahmana, kshatriya, vaisya, those who are higher caste, they must give at least seven generations account. Otherwise he is not a respectable family. Seven generations. His father (i), his father (ii), his father (iii), his father (iv), his father (v), his father (vi), his father (vii), ....like that. When there is marriage, then there is check corroboration......... If within the seventh generations it collides, then there will be no marriage, because it becomes the same family. One cannot marry in the same family. He must pick up another family. Otherwise one could marry his own sister. No. That is not possible. So these family descendants, still there is gotra. Gotra means in which family one is coming. Everyone must say his gotra and family titles. Gotra means guru, disciplic succession. Acyuta-gotra. We Vaishnava, our gotra is Acyuta-gotra, Krsna. Krsna's name is Acyuta. Because we give up our other family gotra. We accept. Actually originally everyone is coming from Krsna" (A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami. Srimad Bhagavatam lecture 10-2-1972.) However such a statement should not be included when devotees are looking for the gotra of a prospective mate for marriage, least there be no marriage for Vaishnavas ever again - as we are all Acyuta-gotra - check as above with either nakshatra based gotras or family gotras.
are referred to as acyuta-gotra, or the dynasty of the Supreme Personality
of Godhead. The Lord is called Acyuta, as indicated in Bhagavad-gétä
(senayor ubhayor madhye rathaà sthäpaya me ’cyuta). The Lord
is infallible in the material world because He is the supreme spiritual
person. Similarly, the jévas, who are part and parcel of the Lord,
can also become infallible. Although Prahläda’s mother was in the
conditional state and was the wife of a demon, even Yakñas, Räkñasas,
women, çüdras and even birds and other lower living entities
can be elevated to the acyuta-gotra, the family of the Supreme Personality
of Godhead. That is the highest perfection.” (A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
Prabhupada. Srimad Bhagavatam 7:7:54. Purport.)
“Different gotras, or family designations, are distinctions in terms of the material body, but when one comes to Kåñëa consciousness he immediately becomes one of the Acyuta-gotra, or descendants of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and thus becomes transcendental to all considerations of caste, creed, color and nationality.” (A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Srimad Bhagavatam 4:21:12.purport.)
“One who thinks the Deity in the temple to be made of wood or stone, who thinks of the spiritual master in the disciplic succession as an ordinary man, who thinks the Vaiñëava in the Acyuta-gotra to belong to a certain caste or creed or who thinks of caraëämåta or Ganges water as ordinary water is taken to be a resident of hell.” (Padma Puräëa)arcye viñëau çilä-dhér guruñu nara-matir vaiñëave jäti-buddhir
viñëor vä vaiñëavänäà kali-mala-mathane päda-térthe ’mbu-buddhiù
çré-viñëor nämni mantre sakala-kaluña-he çabda-sämänya-buddhir
viñëau sarveçvareçe tad-itara-sama-dhér yasya vä näraké saù
‘I am the origin, or seed-giving father.’ Trees, plants, aquatics, by their karma they have to accept different dress, but as spirit soul, everyone is part and parcel of Kåñëa. That is also confirmed in the Bhagavad-gétä. Mamaiväàço jéva-bhütaù.” (A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. 2nd October 1972. Srimad Bhagavatam 1:3:27. lecture. Los Angeles.)sarva-yoniñu kaunteya
mürtayaù sambhavanti yäù
täsäà brahma mahad-yonir
ahaà béja-pradaù pitä
Bhuta (Element) Agreement.
There are five elements (pancha-mahabhutas) as Bhu (Earth); Apah (Water); Tejas (Fire); Vayu (Air); and Akasha (Ether). The first five stars beginning with Aswini constitute the earth element; the next six stars from Ardra, water element; the next five from Uttaraphalguni fire element; the next six stars from Anuradha, air element; and lastly the five stars Akasha element (Ether). If both have the same element, it is very auspicious. Similarly the combination of fire and air elements is beneficial. If one party has earth, it could be joined with any other element for beneficial results. However, water and fire are inimical and harmful. But the union of the rest is not forbidden.
Elements are assigned to the signs too: Gemini and Virgo constitute earth elements.; Taurus, Cancer, and Libra, water; Aries, Leo and Scorpio, fire; Capricorn and Aquarius, air; and Sagittarius and Pisces, ether."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. essentials of Horary Astrology, pages 147.)
"In the good old days when child marriage was the order of the day (this became prevalent during the medieval period) the ideal marriage was (considered) one where the male's age was treble that of the female. If it is double, the effect is considered moderate. If the boy be younger than the girl, extinction of family would follow. In the Vedic period, however, the rules were quite scientific. For, the ancient lawgivers have ordained that a girl should wait for three years after she comes of age and then elect a worthy youth for her partner. Caraka, the doyen of Ayervedic Masters, has asserted that a youth below 25 years and a girl below 16 years ought not to beget issue."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, pages 148.)
"In matrimonial alliance the most important factor is the mutual attraction and jubilant or buoyant mental attitude of the two persons. On the other hand, if a show of interest is put up under compulsion, their wedded life would not be very happy. It is said, 'Mano hi janmantara-sangatijnam' - 'the mind remembers associations of previous life.' Hence even in the absence of other points of agreement, this alone would confer ideal conjugal felicity. For, the sub-conscious mind tells one, 'this is your life-partner according to your past karma.' Karma is inviolable. It is otherwise known as fate!"(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, pages 149.)
19/. Astrological Indications:
For Potential Success, or Possible Failure, Of Marriage:
"When the parents of a girl or boy approach an astrologer, the latter should assess the longevity of the boy and the girl and only then proceed with other factors, relating to marriage. It has already been mentioned that the object of marriage is to beget worthy children for pleasing the ancestral spirits(we suggest the Lord, JTCD.). Even after comparing the horoscopes of the bride and bride-groom, 'prasna' is essential for finding out the prospects of their conjugal life, according to the rule laid down by Brhaspati and Madhavacarya. The parties should approach an astrologer on an auspicious day for fixing an auspicious Muhurtha for the marriage ceremony."
"If the 7th house of the query chart be occupied by benefics, the wedlock would lead to prosperity and happiness. In this connection the girl's parents usually ask the astrologer if the groom would be worthy of their daughter and their married life be prosperous and happy."
"In the query chart the ascendant represents the bride, and the 7th house, the bride-groom. The groom's physical conditions, character etc., are to be read from the 7th house, and the bride's from the ascendant, according to Sage Brhaspati. The other 'bhavas' viz., 2nd, 3rd etc., would indicate the corresponding significations of the bride as in the case of the natal chart."
"If the Sun be posited in his debilitation or inimical house, without aspecting the ascendant or 'Arudha', the astrologer should declare that the girl's father would be dead. Similar result can be read from the Moon in respect of the bride's mother. On the other hand, if the Sun being strong be posited in a good house, her father must b alive, though the lagna be not aspected by the Sun. However, there is no difference: Though the father is alive, the girl may not be benefited by him. Similarly other relations should be considered from the respective significators. If the Sun be posited in an inimical or depressed house, or if the 7th house is not aspected by the Sun, groom's father may not be alive. The mother's existence has to be inferred from the Moon under similar circumstances."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 118-119.)
"The following planetary situations indicate obstacles to the marriage:
(i) If the Moon, posited in 3rd, 6th, 10th, or 11th house either from the 'Arudha' or ascendant, be aspected by Mars, there would be some obstacles to the marriage on account of the girl's monthly course. O the other hand, if the Moon be posited in 2nd, 4th, 5th, 7th, 9th, or 12th, and aspected by Jupiter, the marriage would take place without hindrance.
(ii) According to Brhaspati, if the query be made in the dark fortnight and the Moon be posited in an even sign or in the 8th house, or be aspected by malefics, the alliance would not take place."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 119.)
Success Of The Alliance.
"If the lords of the lagna and the 7th house, or Venus and lagna-lord, be joined together or aspect each other, or if they be in their respective exaltations or friendly houses, or exchange positions, there will be no obstacle whatsoever to the marriage."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 120.)
Stoppage Of The Marriage.
"(i) Malefic is in the 8th house at query.
(ii) The malefic is aspected by other malefics.
(iii) The above malefics be in debilitation. Any one of the above conditions is likely to stop marriage.
(iv) If the 6th house is occupied and aspected by malefic, the stoppage must be due to illness of the bride or groom, provided the house is the planets' debilitation of inimical sing. It may be due to the machination of relatives."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 120.)
Early Death Of Couple.
(i) If the Moon combined with malefics be posited in the 6th or 8th house, the couple would meet with their end in the 8th year of their marriage.
(ii) If Mars be in the 6th or 8th house from the Moon, the husband would quit the world within 9 years without begetting any issue.
(iii) The husband's death is to be expected in the 7th month itself, if the Moon and Mars be conjoined in the lagna or the 7th house."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 120.)
Omens Regarding Marriage - (Vivaha-Sakuna):
"Success of marriage is indicated by the queriest holding his hands joined together or touching his chest or head. If he touches his knees or feet, there would be hindrances to marriage. The same result is indicated by his touching his back or hips with his left hand. If birds, animals or snakes are seen mating in the neighbourhood, the girl's chastity would be in doubt. If a man comes to the place of query accompanied by two women, or one woman accompanied by two men, or a cow and a bull are seen in the vicinity, it indicates remarriage. The following omens augur hindrances to marriage:
(i) Sight of red flower(s) would lead to a postponement owing to the girl being in menses.
(ii) Scratching one's body, sight of blood, an elephant's trumpeting, a buffalo's cry, falling of a red flower from the tree.
(iii) Two persons coming together and then going in opposite directions; sight of a dead body; two persons engaged in quarrel.
The following omens indicate quick marriage. Arrival of
a cloth-vendor; a person wearing new clothes and holding washed ones in
the hand; arrival of a dear person; a vessel-vendor arriving; sight of
a mirror with a handle; sight of the white flower 'lucas aspera' or Tumbe
(in Kannada), silver articles, someone rubbing his eyes, two objects bound
Bad Omen: If in the vicinity of the session somebody is seen digging the earth, or the sound of a wooden piece being sawn is heard, it would suggest that the girl in question is of questionable character."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 121.)
Prospects Of Married Life.
"If Venus and lord of the 7th house be posited in 3rd, 6th, 10th or 11th house, the couple's fortune would increase after marriage. In the same manner their fortune would improve after the birth of a child, should the significator of progeny viz., Jupiter, and the lord of the 5th house be posited in 'Upacarya' houses."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 121.)
"(i) If the Moon and Venus be posited in strength in even signs or 'Amshas', and aspecting the ascendant, the person would be married soon.
(ii) If the ascendant be in a female decanate or even 'Amsha', the Moon and Venus, aspecting the ascendant, there would be quick marriage."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 121.)
A Beautiful Bride.
"Should there be benefics in trines or angles, and the 7th house owned and aspected by benefics, the queriest would get a charming girl as his bride. On the other hand, if the 7th house be owned and aspected by malefics, he would be married to an ugly girl.
The following Yogas indicate quick marriage:
(i) The Moon should be posited in one of the 3rd, 6th, 10th, 11th, and 7th house, and be aspected by benefics.
(ii) The ascendant should be Virgo, Libra, Gemini or Aquarius, and the Moon and Venus in the ascendant or the 7th house.
(iii) Mercury, Jupiter and Venus should be in angles, especially in the 7th house."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 122.)
The Couple's Prosperity.
If 1st, 5th, 7th, 8th, and 9th houses be occupied by their lords, and benefics occupy or aspect them, this Yoga would bestow prosperity and happiness on the couple, provided malefics have no connection whatsoever with them.
If both the ascendant and the Moon be posited in benefic 'Amshas', the result would be auspicious. On the other hand, if they be in malefic 'amshas', it would end in calamity.
According to Brhaspati the following two Yogas lead to the couple's death.
(i) Malefics should occupy the ascendant, which must be their inimical or debilitation sign.
(ii)Malefics should be in the 7th or 8th 'Bhava' which is like the above.
If the 5th house be occupied by a malefic in his debilitation and aspected by an inimical planet, the girl would go astray, or her children might not survive; she might give to still-born children.
Should the lord of the 7th be endowed with strength, the bride after her marriage would become wealthy and happy. On the other hand, if he be in his debilitation or inimical house, she might be without beauty and virtue.
If the Moon or Venus, occupy a friendly house, aspects the ascendant, which is an old sign, the bride will love the groom intensely.
If Mars, the Sun or Jupiter, occupying a friendly house, should aspect the ascendant that is an even sign, the man would have exceptional love for the girl.
If a girl turns up suddenly at the query session, and begins to talk, or stands looking on, or if somebody be talking about a girl, then the person would get a girl similar in features to the one who has come. The direction from which the girl would hail should be determined through the 'Arudha' or the ascendant, whichever is stronger."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 122-123.)
20/. Time Of Marriage:
"The event is likely to materialise when the Moon arrives in transit at one of the following signs:
(i) The 'Dvadahamsha' (1)/(12) sign of the Moon at query or its trine; (ii) the 'Abhilasha' - longitude of the Moon or its trine; and (iii) the 'Navamsha' sign of the lord of the 7th house from the 'Arudha'. Moon's Abhilasha longitude: Convert the Moon's longitude at query into minutes and divide the result by 800. The remainder should be multiplied by 3, and divided by 200. This quotient gives the number of signs. The remainder should be multiplied by 30 and the product divided by 200. The quotient would give degrees and when the remainder is multiplied by 60 and divided by 200, you will get minutes. This figure represents the 'Abhilasha'-Moon."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 123.)
Lunar Mansions Prescribed For Marriage.
"It is to be understood that different asterism's are prescribed for different religious functions. Stars are generally divided into three categories as auspicious, forbidden or inauspicious, and indifferent. Among auspicious asterism's too there are some special ones prescribed for marriage alone. They are the following: Rohini, Mrgashirsha, Magha, the 3 Uttaras (Uttara-ashada-Uttaraphalguni-Uttarabhadrapad), Hasta, Svati Anuradha, Mula and Revati.
According to some, even Aswini, Chitra, Shravan and Dhanistha may be accepted in exceptional circumstances.
Star Elected For Marriage.
The best stars are those except the 1st, 3rd, 5th and 7th in any round for both from their respective natal stars(nakshatras). However, in the case of the bride even her natal star or its trine is not to be rejected.
Most important of all planetary transits are those of Jupiter and the Sun, they are the 'sine qua non' for marriage. this highly beneficial to both the bride and the groom. Should Jupiter occupy the 3rd, 6th, 8th, 4th, 10th or 12th (even the 1st is considered bad for him) from the natal Moon of the bride or the groom at marriage, he would bestow prosperity, conjugal felicity and such other cherished things, on them, provided the house is his own or exaltation sign. Even otherwise Jupiter should be propitiated through appropriate Japa, Homa, feeding (distribution of prasadams) etc. in order to invoke His mercy and benevolence on the couple.
According to some, of all benefits the groom should secure the Sun's transitory benefit, while the girl Jupiter's, and both the Moon's (Chandrabala). If this is not gotten, there is likely to be obstacles. If the Sun is in the 8th, 4th, or 12th in transit in the groom's case, it is likely to result in tragedy. Effects of this strength are said to be (1) long life on account of Jupiter's good transit; (2) wealth through the Moon's transit; and (3) power, through the Sun's transit. If Mars be in good transit, the benefit to the couple would be gain of lands or position.
For marriage the best signs are (1) Gemini, Virgo, and Libra as lagnas. (2) moderate are Taurus, Cancer, Sagittarius, and Pisces. Even the latter ones would be excellent, should they be occupied by a benefic. Some texts recommend even Capricorn and Aquarius with Venus in them.(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, pages 152.)
This means marriage is held at dusk when cattle return home from pastures, raising a good deal of dust by their hoofs. This dust, according to ancient sages, has the power of warding off all evil forces causing obstruction or harm to the marriage.(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 153.)
In shastra this is also mentioned as one of the five kinds of sacred baths(Jayatirtha das & Jayasacinandan dasa. 1977. Archana Paddhati.)
There is another highly auspicious period highly praised by ancient authors. It is the 8th Muhurtha of the day, i.e. midday. Take the duration of the day in question and make 15 equal points of it. multiply the duration of the daytime for 1 part by 7. After that begins this muhurtha, whose duration is roughly 48 minutes. If we take an example with 6-56 hours as sunrise and 18-18 as sunset, 1 muhurtha gets 45.466 minutes. This when multiplied by 7 we get 318.262 minutes or 5 hours 18 minutes. So it comes to 12H. 12m. Hence we should take commencement of Abhijit at 12-15 noon and to its end at 1 p.m. (13:00 hrs), (correct to the minute). This Muhurtha is said to confer progeny and other benefits on the couple. this muhurtha, it is said, should not be elected on a Wednesday."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, pages 153.)
All lunar days (Tithis) except 4, 6, 8, 9, 12, 14 and New Moon are good. Even the 8th Tithi may be accepted in emergencies, provided the Moon is aspected by benefics. The days of the dark fortnight are to be avoided beyond the Panchami (5th day).(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, pages 153.)
Vaishakha (21st April - 20th May), Jyestha (21st May - 20th June), Magha (21st January - 20th February), and Phalguna (21st February - 20th March) are the best months. Out of the remaining 8 months Ashadha (21st June - 20th July), Shravan (21st July - 20th August), Bhadrapada (21st August - 20th September) and Pausha (21st December - 20th January) are considered as most inauspicious. a woman married in the month of Mrigashirsha (21st November - 20th December), would be quarrelsome and intent on visiting other houses, but be blessed with wealth and happiness.(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, pages 153.)
Among the Solar months the best are Aries (21st March - 20th April), Taurus (21st April - 20th May), Gemini (21st May - 20th June), Capricorn (21st December - 20th January), and Aquarius (21st January - 20th February). Cancer (21st June - 20th July), Virgo (21st August - 20th September) and Sagittarius (21st November - 20th December) are shunned. Some do not approve of even Libra (21st September - 20th October) and Leo (21st July - 20th August), especially when the latter is occupied by Jupiter. Among the Yogas 1, 6, 9, 10, 13, and 15 are to be avoided. Among the Karanas Vishti and the four immovable ones are dangerous and to be rejected.(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, pages 153-154.)
Longitude Of Chandra-Velaa.
"Take the first remainder mentioned above and multiply it by 9. Divide the product by 200. The quotient you get would represent signs. The remainder multiplied by 30 and divided by 200 would yield the quotient in degrees. Lastly the remainder, when multiplied by 60 and divided by 200 would give the quotient in minutes. This is known as Chandra-Velaa."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 123.)
Of Characteristics Of Candidates:
Type Of Girl.
If the 7th house belongs to a benefic, the man will get a bride of the class, characteristics, complexion etc., allotted to that planet; but if it belongs to a malefic, the girl will have features etc., assigned to that planet.
When the lord of that lagna or the Moon be posited in the 7th house, the querist would get a bride without his seeking."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 123.)
The Bride's Character.
"At a query about this, if the lagna be an immovable sign, and both the Moon and the lagna-lord be in immovable signs, she should be declared to be of unsullied character. If the above three entities be in movable signs, the girl though in maidenhood must be spoiled; but if the Moon be in a dual sign and the ascendant, a movable sign, her flaw must be negligible.
If the Moon and Mars be joined in a sign which is not immovable, the girl must have been enjoyed covertly by somebody; while if Saturn and the Moon be posited in the lagna, she must have been enjoyed overtly. Should Mars and Saturn be in kendras and Venus in Scorpio, in sign or decanate, and be aspected by the Moon, she must be unchaste.
When the lords of the ascendant and the 12th house, or of the 1st, and 7th houses, exchange their positions, or when Venus and the Moon occupy their own or exaltation houses, the man will get a girl whom he loves most. If at a query the Moon be posited in the lagna, 6th, or 8th house, and a malefic in the 7th house, the girl would be widowed within 8 years. If a debilitated malefic, aspected by his enemy, occupies the 5th house, she would become either unchaste or barren.
(i) The querist would have no marriage, should the Moon or Saturn occupying an even sign identical with the 6th or 8th, be aspected by malefics.
(ii) The same effect would follow, if the Moon and Venus along with malefics occupy an even sign identical with the 6th or 8th house. The person would lose his first wife, if the lord of the 7th house, conjoined with a malefic, be posited in the 1st, 6th, 9th, or 12th house, or in despression.
If in a natal chart of a male the 7th house happens to be Aries and other signs, the following effects are declared:
Aries: The woman would be interested in visiting temples.
Taurus: She would be fond of feeding others.
Gemini: Keeps the household, utensils etc., neat and clean.
Cancer: Interested in bathing etc.
Leo: Finds pleasure in performing rituals like homa.
Virgo: She would be interested in collecting perfumes, utensils etc., or costly articles.
Libra: She would be an eloquent speaker.
Scorpio: She would be an expert in culinary art.
Sagittarius: Interested in listening to recitations of Vedas and Puranas.
Capricorn: Would be interested in collecting good sheets etc.
Aquarius: She would be clever in storing grains.
Pisces: She would have pleasure in collecting bronze articles and curios. She would be a nice speaker.
(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 124-125.)
"The following conditions relating to the 7th house indicate the wife's death:
(i) The 7th house must be weak, having malefic association and aspect.
(ii) Absence of the aspect of the lord of the 7th, 1st or a benefic on the 7th house.
(iii) The lord of the 7th house and Venus, being in inimical house, or debilitation 'Amsha' or combustion, are aspected by malefics, without benefic connection.
(iv) these two planets should be posited in 6th, 8th or 12th house.
If two of the above conditions be fulfilled, the wife's death would be certain. Otherwise the man would not be married.
(i) If Mars be posited in the 7th house, the native would be separated from or bereaved of his wife. The same effect would follow, if Saturn should occupy or aspect the 7th house without benefic connection.
(ii) If Capricorn be the 7th house with Jupiter in it, or if Scorpio be the 7th house with Venus in it, the wife would die. Similarly if Taurus be the 7th house with Mercury in it, the person's first wife would die.
(iii) If Pisces be the 7th house with Saturn in it, the result would be the same.
(iv)Virgo being the 7th house with Jupiter in it, and the 4th house with malefics would do the same job.
(v) Lords of the 5th and 8th houses occupying the 7th house also do the same thing."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 125.)
Deformity Of Wife.
"The Sun and Venus posited in the 5th, 7th or 9th house would make the wife deformed:
(i) If Venus be surrounded by malefics without benefic connection, the native would suffer on account of his wife, or be bereaved of her.
(ii) The same result would follow, if the 4th and 8th houses from Venus be posited by malefics without benefic connection.
(iii) If the Sun and Rahu be in the 7th house, the wife would be separated from him. The man thereafter would lose everything.
(iv) Should Venus occupy a movable sign with the aspect or association of Saturn, and be surrounded by malefics, the wife would be unchaste and leave him.
(v) If Venus be posited in Mars' Rashi or Amsha and connected with Mars, the native would get a cruel wife. If this Yoga occurs in Saturn's sign or Amsha, or if Venus be in his debilitation in Rashi or Amsha he would be married to a mean or low-class girl.
'Ashtha-Varga Method: Should there be more malefic dots in the 7th house in Venus's Ashtha-Varga chart, the native's spouse would certainly predecease, provided Mandi occupies a trine from the ascendant."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 126.)
Wife's Death Through Fire & Snake Bite.
"Should Venus be posited in Aries, Scorpio, or Leo, and aspected by or combined with the lord there of, and at a time when the fire element rises, (Prashna Marga 16:31), the native's wife would die through fire."
"When Venus is associated with Mandi, and Rahu occupies a kendra or kona with respect to Venus, the wife would die as a result of snake-bite."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 126-127.)
Her Disastrous Death.
"The wife would meet with a disastrous end, in case there be malefics in the 8th house from Venus in association with Saturn.
Death due to animal attack: If Venus in the above condition occupies a sign signifying quadraped, her death will be due to animal attack; and if the decante of Venus be vulture, death would be due to birds; if Venus be in a watery sign, her end would be due to drowning in a tank; and if Venus, combined with the Moon, be in a movable sign (or Cancer, Pisces or latter half of Capricorn?) under the above condition, death would be in the sea.
Venus in combination with other planets and 'upagraphas' (minor planets) causes the following effects:
(i) With the Sun: The wife would be very prominent in the family, but possessed by a spirit (bhuta).
(ii) With the Moon: She would be superior to her husband.
(iii) With Mars: She would be unchaste and troubled by demons.
(iv) With Mercury: She would be charming, endowed with good character and learning, but troubled by vidydharas (a class of demi-gods).
(v) With Jupiter: Be a paragon o virtues and blessed with sons, but troubled by gandharvas (another class of demi-god).
(vi) With Saturn: Be of bad character, friendly with the wicked, a hypocrite and foul tongued. (Note: The above effects could also be attributed to the native's wife, if Venus occupies the houses of these planets.).
(vii) With Rahu or Ketu: She is likely to be deformed or short of a limb, and in league with despicable fellows.
(viii) With Mandi Yamakantaka or kala: The native's wife is likely to meet with an early death.
(ix) With Ardhaprahara: Her death would be gradual, or after protracted illness."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 127.)
Wife's Caste/Community/Social Status And Physical Features.
"Should Jupiter or Venus occupy the 7th house in the male chart, his wife would be of the same class or community. On the other hand, other planets posited in the 7th house are likely to make her one of slightly lower status. Her physical features should be ascertained from stronger of the lords of the sign and Amsha occupied by the lord of the 7th house. The wife's character, colour, stature, caste, nature etc., are to be read from the strongest of the following three or more planets viz., Venus lord of the 7th house and those that are posited in the 7th house.
(i) The wife would be blessed with good sons, fortune
and religious disposition, if there be a benefic in the 9th house from
Venus, provided its lord (of the 9th house from Venus) is strong.
(ii) If the lord of the 7th be a benefic and aspected by or conjoined with a benefic.
(iii) or if the 5th, 7th, 9th and 11th houses, counted from the one occupied by the 7th lord, are posited by benefics or any strong planet, the same result should be declared.
(i) On the other hand, if the lord of the 7th house be
a malefic and associated with or aspected by malefics;
(ii) or if the 5th, 7th, 9th and 11th houses counted from the lord of the 7th house, are occupied by malefics, the man is likely to get a wife who would be distressed, being barren or sickly.
Happy conjugal life is the result of the following Yogas:
(i) The lord of the 7th house, being possessed of strength, or benefics should occupy or aspect that house (i.e. 7th.)
(ii) Venus and the lord of the 7th house should be strong, occupy auspicious houses and be associated with or aspected by benefics."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 128.)
The Bride's Family.
If the lord of the 7th house be possessed of strength, the native would get a beautiful bride from a rich family. On the other hand, if that planet be weak, the girl would be ugly and hailing from a poor family.
Should the 7th lord be combined with or aspected by benefics, or hemmed in between benefics, the man would be blessed with a good wife and children. The same result would follow, if the lord of the 7th house be in the sign of Amsha of a benefic, or if Venus be similarly situated, and the lord of the 10th house be possessed of strength.
On the other hand, if either the Sun or lord of the 7th house, being posited in a sign or Amsha belonging to a malefic, or aspected by or conjoined with malefics, he would get an unchaste wife.
Should the 7th house be occupied by Rahu or Ketu and aspected by or associated with malefics, the person's wife would be characterless (sinful).
If Rahu and Ketu should attain the Amsha of the malefic, she would poison the husband and be always quarrelling with the husband and be the butt of ridicule to the people."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 128-129.)
Effects Of Planets In The Seventh House On Him.
The Sun: He will have liaison with another's wife.
The Moon: He loves his wife most.
Mars: He will have sex-relations with many women.
Mercury: He loves his wife.
Jupiter: She will be very virtuous and loved by the husband.
Venus: He is very lustful.
Saturn: He will have liaison with low-class women.
If the lord of the 7th house is stronger than the lagna-lord, and posited in a benefic Amsha and aspected by a benefic, attaining Vaisheshikamsha(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Fundamentals of Astrology. page 42-43.) or its highest exaltation, his wife will be hailing from a superior family, and possessed of excellent character and features. If the conditions are contrary, he gets a wife from a poor family or low-class."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 129.)
22/. Indications Of Possible
Remarriage (Two Marriages) & Three or More Marriages:
"(i) The ascendant is a dual sign, the Moon and the lord of the 7th house are posited in dual signs or Amshas.
(ii) Two planets should be in the 11th house, and Mercury and Saturn occupy the 7th house.
(iii) If the Sun and Mars be in the 7th house or its Amsha, it would show that the man has more than one marriage, but lives only with one wife.
If the three planets viz., Venus and lords of the 7th
house, counted from the ascendant and the Moon, be endowed with strength
and posited in good houses, there would be three marriages If only two
be strong, the chance is for two marriages; and if only one be strong,
one marriage only. If either the 7th lord or Venus be in its highest exaltation
and if at the same time there be two or more planets in the 7th house,
three or more marriages would result. The number of marriages may also
be found out from the Navamsha covered by the lord of the 7th house.
Another view is the following: If there are two strong planets in the 7th house, there will be two marriages. The following are some more Yogas for remarriage:
(i) The 7th house being strong, its lord and Venus must be posited in one of the following Rashis viz., own house, own decanate, Vargottamamsha (Rashi and Navamsha being in the same sign).
(ii) The 2nd or the 7th house must have a malefic aspect or presence and the lord be weak.
(iii) The 7th or 8th house from lagna be occupied by malefics, and the 12th house by Mars, provided the concerned house is not aspected by its own lord.
(iv) The lord of the Navamsha occupied by the lord of the 7th house be eclipsed, debilitated, posited in inimical or debilitation Amsha (decanate), or surrounded or aspected by malefics.
(v) If the second or seventh house be occupied by many (more than two) malefics, and if its lord be aspected by malefics, three marriages are indicated.
(vi) If the ascendant, 2nd, or 7th house be occupied by malefics, and if the 7th lord be debilitated, eclipsed or posited in an inimical sign, three marriages should be declared.
(vii) Lord of the 7th house, being posited in kendra or kona, is to be in his exaltation, friendly sign. Vargottamamsha and other Vargas that are his own, and associated with the lord of the 10th house, he will have many wives.
(viii) The same result would follow if the lords of 7th and 11th houses be strong and posited in trines."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 130.)
23/. Rnnubandha - Previous
Relationships In Former Lives:
How could we know if the bride proposed and the man have this kind of relationship of previous life? To know this you have to follow the following procedure:
(i) Note in the male chart the sign occupied by the 7th lord.
(ii) His Navamsha sign
(iii) His exaltation sign.
(iv) His debilitation sign.
(v) The sign occupied by Venus.
(vi) The 7th house from Venus.
(vii) The Moon's Dvadashamsha (1)/(12) sign.
(viii) Its trines.
(ix) In the Moon's Ashthaka-Varga chart(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Fundamentals of Astrology XXII.), the sign that carries the greatest number of dots.
(x) The sign that has the greatest number of benefic dots in her (Moon's) Samudayoashthaka-Varga chart.
(xi) In the Ashthaka-Varga chart of Venus the sign to which the lord of the 7th house from Venus, has contributed his benefic dot. Should the bride's natal sign happen to be the same as the one found out by two or three methods mentioned above, the astrologer could declare the existence of this relationship of previous life, and recommend their union in holy wedlock."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 131.)
"It is also necessary to enquire about family background, character, physical features, age, education, financial status, relatives and such other details before the proposal is accepted, and then only the horoscopes are taken to the family astrologer to find out their suitability for matching. The compatibility of horoscopes is based on the following twenty criteria: (1) Lunar signs of the two; (2) Lords of their signs; (3) Their stars; (4) Yoni; (5) Vashya; (6) Dina; (7) Mahendra; (8) Stri-dirgha; (9) Varna; (10) Sex-agreement; (11) Gana; (12) Gotra-agreement; (13) Pakshi-agreement; (14) Mrga-agreement; (15)Vedha; (16) Bhuta; (17) Rajju; (18)Age-agreement; (19) Ashthavarga-agreement; and (20) Mental attraction."(M. Ramakrishna Bhat. Essentials of Horary Astrology, page 134.)
One also has to bear in mind that eventually we have to leave these temporary situations, to return to our actual home and that these marriage situations are not the ultimate goal of life. Simply they are there to aid persons to develop gradual detachment from this material world and to assist in the development of harmonious attachments to Lord Sri Krishna in the Spiritual Realm, our permanent and eternal family. Lord Sri Krishna in Dwaraka was a householder, as was Lord Ramachandra in Ayodhya, Lord Balarama too! Many great devotees have traversed the path of household life and have successfully returned back to home back to Godhead. Lord Shiva is sometimes cited as being an example of a householder in renunciation, Kardama Muni and his faithful, ideal wife Devahuti, Nanda and Yashoda, Vasudeva and Devaki, even Ravan and Mandodari were wonderful examples of household life, although Ravan had a few other problems. In later years there was Sripad Ramanujacarya, Sri Raghavendra Tirtha Swami was previously a great householder, as was Sri Vallabhacarya, Srila Vishvanath Chakravarti Thakura, and in recent history Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura who's prolific writings tell of his mood. Our founder Acarya Srila A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada was also a householder for many years prior to his taking of the order of sannyasa and coming to preach in the Western world. Even today in this movement there are many good householders who by their example are teaching the general populous the principles of Krishna consciousness, showing how to live in this world happily with family, friends etc., but at the same time keeping in mind what is the goal of life.
The sum and bonum of the true perspective for a living entity in household life is stated in the following charter:
25/. Prayer of Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur 1896:
"WHILE LOCATED IN THE MAYIC WORLD MAN MUST LIVE PEACEFULLY
WITH THE OBJECT OF CULTIVATING THE SPIRIT. IN HIS SOCIETY HE MUST LEAD
A PURE LIFE, AVOID SINS AND DO AS MUCH GOOD AS HE CAN TO HIS BROTHER MAN.
HE MUST BE HIMSELF HUMBLE BEARING DIFFICULTIES OF LIFE WITH HEROISM, MUST
NOT BRAG OF ANY GOODNESS OR GRANDEUR HE HAS AND MUST TREAT EVERYONE WITH
THE RESPECT DUE TO HIM. MARRIAGE WITH A VIEW TO PEACEFUL AND VIRTUOUS LIFE
AND WITH A VIEW TO PROCREATE SERVANTS OF THE LORD IS A GOOD INSTITUTION
FOR A VAISNAVA. SPIRITUAL CULTIVATION IS THE MAIN OBJECT OF LIFE. DO EVERYTHING
THAT HELPS IT AND ABSTAIN FROM DOING ANYTHING WHICH THWARTS THE CULTIVATION
OF THE SPIRIT. HAVE A STRONG FAITH THAT KRISHNA ALONE PROTECTS YOU AND
NONE ELSE. ADMIT HIM AS YOUR ONLY GUARDIAN. DO EVERYTHING WHICH YOU KNOW
KRISHNA WISHES YOU TO DO AND NEVER THINK THAT YOU DO A THING INDEPENDENT
OF THE HOLY WISH OF KRISHNA. DO ALL THAT YOU DO WITH HUMILITY. ALWAYS REMEMBER
THAT YOU ARE A SOJOURNER IN THIS WORLD AND YOU MUST BE PREPARED FOR YOUR
OWN HOME. DO YOUR DUTIES AND CULTIVATE BHAKTI AS A MEANS TO OBTAIN THE
GREAT END OF LIFE, KRISHNA-PRITI. EMPLOY YOUR BODY, MIND AND SPIRIT IN
THE SERVICE OF THE DEITY. IN ALL YOUR ACTIONS, WORSHIP THE GREAT
LORD. DO THESE WITH YOUR HEART, MIND AND STRENGTH IN THE COMPANY OF SPIRITUAL
PEOPLE ALONE, AND YOU WILL SEE KRISHNA IN NO TIME."
(SRILA BHAKTIVINODA THAKUR, 1896.)
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